Triumphing Through Faith in Times of Trials

I am sorry for the lack of blogging this month. It's been interesting to see how many people actually miss reading my rants and contact me to say that they want more! It makes me smile....and thank you.

I don't know where you are in your life right now, but the Straightforward Family (and I have noticed many of our friends as well) has experienced some particularly large trials and tribulations recently. I have caught myself with the question, "Why me?" on my lips several times. My other favorite question recently is, "Why can't I catch a break?". It seems like we have been hit from all sides for the last year.

Interestingly enough (as I have mentioned before), our church is doing a study on the book of Genesis. I know I have posted before about Lot and what I took from that study, but this recent study meant a lot to me and has helped me confront some of my more recent trials with a different perspective. I don't know if you have ever read the account found in Genesis 22, but it is probably one of the most inspiring and interesting accounts I have read in the Old Testament.

Here's a brief summary. After years of waiting on God (and a son through the wrong woman), Abraham and Sarah finally have their promised son. I know some people feel like they have waited forever for a child, but Abraham and Sarah didn't have a son until they were VERY OLD. They were not the picture of patience (or normal parents) by any means, but they finally receive God's promise of a child. About the time that Isaac is 25, God speaks to Abraham and says, "Ok. you have your son. I want you to take your only child and offer him as a burnt sacrifice." (He probably didn't say it just like that, but you get the idea.) Abraham gets up the next morning, travels to the place he is told, and has his son carry the sticks up to the location. He then binds his son to the altar and prepares to sacrifice his only child. As he is about to slit Isaac's throat, he hears a voice call out to stop and he sees a ram nearby to put in Isaac's place. They sacrifice the ram and head back home.

Now, I know what you are thinking. "What in the world does this have to do with the daily struggles and trials that I deal with in my life? God is not asking me to sacrifice my kids!" That's very true and I am very thankful that He hasn't asked me to do that! However, if you look closely at this story, you see two people who have been through a mess of trials and tribulations (some they have triumphed through in honorable fashion and some they have waded through in shame) and this is one is like the icing on the cake. (Hmmmm....have you ever felt that way? You look at trials in your life and think, "Wow! I did awesome there, but I stunk up the farm on that one?" Every once in awhile, I also face a trial so big that my mind runs with the thought, "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!")

I don't know about you, but when I learned about Abraham as a kid, I never really thought about his failures or frustrations. I only remembered the bright spots in his life. I focused on the triumphant moments. As I have gotten older, I have been able to identify with his goof-ups and hang-ups. Previous to where Abraham is in Genesis 22, we have seen him go through some rough things. He has given his wife away (twice), not heeded God's directions (several times), had to watch his beloved nephew head off to one of the most immoral cities to ever exist, and much more. Yet, after years of waiting he gets his son!!! I can't imagine what elation and excitement he and Sarah felt at that moment. Things are going great for awhile and then BOOM! God says go kill your son for me. I can just picture the look on Abraham's face. I can imagine his mind ran with the same thought that mine would--"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" After all he had been through, he finally had his son and I imagine he thought God was going to cut him a break for the remainder of his life. He is now faced with this new challenge.

In the past, I never understood why God would ask Abraham to kill his son. It made no sense to me. Yet, as we studied this story more, I realized that He was trying to express what He would one day be doing for people everywhere. Abraham was given the smallest taste of what God would be offering for us many years later.

How did Abraham face this new challenge? He got up the next morning and did exactly what was asked of him. What would the Straightforward Mom have done in this situation? I probably would have prayed, cried, "twisted" my ankle so I couldn't travel--yeah, I would have hesitated. Abraham packed up his stuff and went. According to Genesis 22:5, Abraham told the guys who traveled with him, "Abide ye here with the donkey; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you." He had so much faith in God in this trial that he believed that no matter what, he would return with a living Isaac. Whether he had to go through with the sacrifice or not, he believed that God would provide. After that statement, he loads Isaac up with the altar stuff and heads toward the place God had specified. Again, his faith during the trial is tested by Isaac's question, "Behold the fire and the wood; but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?" I don't know about you, but if I had even made it to this point, I would have burst into tears and ran from that place. But Abraham didn't waiver and told Isaac, "My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering." Abraham gets as far as binding his son and raising the knife to kill him. The Angel of the Lord then calls out and causes him to stop. God provides the ram and the two sacrifice that instead.

After studying this story, I am so ashamed at the lack of faith I have in the smallest trials. There are days I don't even trust Him to provide something as small as my financial needs. The trials and tribulations that Abraham faced before this point, prepared him for this moment. He had seen God move in mighty ways and protect him even when he made the dumbest of mistakes (like offering his wife to other men and believing her when she said it was ok for him to have a baby with another woman). God wasn't trying to destroy Abraham during these events. God was preparing Abraham through each event.

Does that offer you a new perspective on what you are going through? I know I have started looking at my problems differently. It's easier for me to not ask why as much--He's preparing me. Now, I might not always completely understand why I have to face a certain situation. It also doesn't mean that I enjoy it. Nevertheless, I can face each new challenge with confidence and faith that God will provide. I can look back (just as Abraham did) at all the events of the past year and see places where I came through like a champ, and others where I came through like a chump. Through it all, I can see God's hand moving and shaping me to be something wonderful for Him.

I think another powerful testimony of faith in time of testing is Isaac's response to his father during this situation. Isaac did question his dad about what was going to happen (just like any young man would have done). The confident answer given by his father was enough to keep Isaac going. Keep in mind, Isaac was not a little kid innocently trusting his father. He was a young man who had the option to run away or punch his dad for attempting to bind him and place him on the altar. He could have verbally abused his dad, calling him "stupid" or a "crazy zealot." Isaac did none of these things. I think the trust he placed in his father is a testimony to the way he was raised by Abraham and Sarah. I hope that one day, people will be able to look at the actions and reactions of my children and see evidence of the way I have tried to raise them.

(As a side note, this is also a reminder to all those parents out there, our children are not ours. They belong to God and we have to respect that gift. No matter where He leads them (the mission field or other ministries), we have to listen to His call on their lives as much as they should. This was another hard pill for the old Straightforward Mom to swallow. On a second side note, isn't it interesting that Sarah is not mentioned in this chapter? This is a Straightforward Momism, but I think that God knew what this trial would do to Sarah and that it would be more than she could bear. I may be completely off on that assessment--and I would love to know your thoughts--but I find it so interesting that Sarah is not involved. I know what it would have done to me to hear that request.)

When trials come your way, where do you place your faith? Or do you even worry about that? Do you find yourself focusing so much on the problem that you forget why we go through them in the first place? I was in your shoes. I can admit that I was not putting my faith in my Heavenly Father. I was placing my trust in myself. (You think I would learn after 30 years of living this life!) I also placed my trust in the Straightforward Dad and others. I was so shocked when they failed me.....hmmmmm. If I couldn't do it my strength, how in the world could I expect them to do it in theirs?

I hope that you will pick up your copy of the Bible and read the account in Genesis 22. Not only does it give a testament to what faith can do for you in times of pain and heartache, but it is also a representation of what our Heavenly Father gave up for us so that we could live in heaven with Him. How great is the Father's love for us?

Review: Courageous Parenting--Jack and Deb Graham

I bet everyone expected me to come on and do a big article on Valentine's Day. Well, guess what? You were wrong! Instead, I took the last little while to prepare and spend this special time with my own amazing Valentine. In its place I decided to offer you something even more helpful--a book you should read.

Recently, I was browsing through the library and picked up a book that I saw about parenting that had Graham on it. Of course I thought, "WOW! A book by Billy Graham on parenting!" Okay, so it wasn't by Billy Graham, but it was by a couple of Grahams who have helped me grow as a parent. The book was called Courageous Parenting by Jack and Deb Graham. Now, if you are a young person without children, or a teenager reading this, don't say this blog is not for you. You might just find some interesting tidbits that might make you appreciate parents who put their foot down or tell you no. I know I appreciated my parents taking a stand for me as I got older, but this book really put into perspective the battle they fought to help me be the person I am today.

I don't know about you, but sometimes living in the world we live in gets me a little down as a parent (I can't imagine what young adults must be going through!). I feel like I am constantly fighting for the minds and hearts of, not only my children, but children everywhere. If you read my earlier blog about the MTV show Skins, you know exactly what I am talking about. Sadly, shows like that are not isolated incidents. Our children are being bombarded from a very young age with all kinds of things that I never thought about or worried about until I was much older.

This book encouraged me to keep fighting the good fight for my kids. It's written in a way where Jack and Deb would each comment within the text to either offer extra insight or encouragement about a certain topic. I appreciated seeing it from a fellow mother's perspective and that of a father. I often take for granted a father's viewpoint because I am not one (I can't imagine being one considering all they have going against them these days--have you noticed how much TV presents dads as idiots these days?) and it was nice to hear someone back up what the Straightforward Dad has been telling me. (Not that I don't believe what he says, but sometimes it takes another person saying it for it to really hit home with me. I will go ahead and apologize to him now since I know he is going to nail me with this one when he reads this!) A book where two parents partner in offering information, feelings, and thoughts about parenting was a new approach from other parenting books I have read recently.

There were a couple of chapters that I really appreciated that I would like to share with you without ruining the whole book for you. . .

• "It Takes 3 To Make Parenting Work"--I had never really thought that statement through until I read that chapter title. In my short parenting experience, I have struggled with figuring out how the Straightforward Dad and I were going to get things right or make certain decisions. This chapter made me stand back and look at it from a different perspective. We are not alone in this journey. If we try to make it on our own, our children have no hope. We have to allow God to have His place in the mix or this whole fight is lost before we even start! (Sounds a lot like our own battles within our own lives too!) Our children are His to begin with.
• "Taking A Stand In Your Home"--"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord," was Joshua's claim in Joshua 24:15. God has allowed us to be parents for a reason. We must make the decision that our homes will be places where the Lord will be served. They mention taking a stand in various forms including by expressing children love verbally and by giving them hugs--making sure they feel loved in every way possible. They also talk about encouraging and equipping them for the life that lies ahead.
• Other chapters such as "Will The Real Parents Please Stand Up" and "Raising Eagles" made huge impressions on my heart, but I want to leave you some room to find out for yourself what this book has to offer. If I tell you all about it (as I am dying to do) you won't go out and get it!

I think the last part was probably the hardest for me to read. It was called "From 'It's a Boy' to 'I'm Engaged'." Holy cow! I had to read this section in spurts as I cried like a baby through some parts. It really was an eye opening experience to think about how quickly my beautiful Straightforward sons will grow into men. After I finished the book, so many thoughts ran through my head that the Grahams had mentioned. Do my boys see me praying and seeking God's face? Do they hear me encourage the Straightforward Dad and others? Will I be able to stand strong even when they are angry because I won't let them do what other kids can do? Am I raising "turkeys" or "eagles?" (Seriously, they use that analogy--and I LOVED it! You have to read the book to truly understand it.) I also was burdened with the fact that my children truly are not mine. They are a gift from God of which I am blessed to be the caretaker. I am responsible for how they are raised, what they are exposed to, who they are associated with....and suddenly I am overwhelmed. That's when I went back to the chapter about it taking three to parent!

Another point that really hit home with me was a comment they made that I couldn't shelter them from the storm, but I can shelter them in the storm during the time they are in my care. I hear so much these days about people "sheltering" their children. I will tell you right now--there is NO home, NO school, NO church, NO way to completely shelter your children from the storms of life. However, we can shelter them during the storms so that as they grow and mature into the person God wants them to be, they are able to stand strong and not be knocked about with the winds of change.

If you are a young person reading this blog, encourage your parents. If you have parents who lay out boundaries and discipline you, you are in the minority and are very blessed. In a world of latch key kids and parents who try to be their child's best friend, you are unique. You are being shown love and they are wanting you to be the best you can.

I hope this blog encourages you to go out and look at the book. You can also get a glimpse of it at by clicking Courageous Parenting. I think you will be glad that you did!

He Wants to Know: Feeding a Competitive Spirit

First off, I would like to thank everyone who stopped by the blog to check out, "A Cry for Help." Because of people like you taking a stand, the show has taken a hit in numbers and sponsors. Please keep yourself informed on the situation. I did take some flack for being against the show, but I was very encouraged by those of you who supported my stand and stood with me.

This blog is a new little item you can look forward to called "He Wants to Know." This is where I will ask a male for a topic they would like to hear a female opinion on, or offer to answer a question about why women act so strangely--yeah right. Anyway, the first topic I was given was a tough one for me. My first victim wanted to know this:

"Since you are a former (who is he calling former?) competitive athlete, what do you do to feed that desire now that you do not play competitive sports? Leave it up to a guy to come up with a question for a woman that somehow still leads into a conversation about sports!

Ok Mr. Anonymous....here we go....

Me in college---Go Lady Lions!

Since leaving the world of competitive sports after college, the one way that I used to feed that competitive desire was to coach. This helped this desire immensely--except when we lost and I could not put on a jersey myself. My husband will be the first to tell you that any time we lost, I beat myself up. There was always something more I could have said or a different play I could have called. I also have always wanted to be the best teacher out there. I was always trying to find different activities to do or ideas to make learning in my class different than learning in other teachers' classrooms.

My first real coaching job

Most of you now know that since I have become a mom, my life has changed drastically. I gave up coaching to spend time with the boys. I made the commitment to stay out of the coaching arena until my boys were prepared for me to be able to spend that time in that profession. Now, I am self-employed and not teaching full-time either. At this point, I have very little avenues to which I can steer my competitive nature. I have to be honest since this is the Straighforward Mom Blog. A lot of my competitive aggression has been directed towards my husband. I wasn't beating him up or anything, but I was always complaining that he went soft on me when we played pick-up games or (when he was still coaching) that I would have made a different decision in a game situation. I know he was ready to tell me to zip my lip at moments, but he never did. I also would nose my way into other situations where I could give my opinions and thoughts to others with that same drive.

So, to answer the first ever "He Wants to Know" question, I have very few places to let my competitive nature run free. I have started running. This does help because it pits me against myself right now instead of taking out that aggression on another person. I literally will push myself to the point of blisters some days just so I can do better than the time before. Recently, due to cold weather, sick kids, and other time constraints my running time has been limited--and boy can everyone tell a difference. When I don't get to run, my mood and waistline suffer.

Another place I try to channel my competitive spirit is through my photography. I am always looking at other people's photographs and trying to be better. It's a lot like what I was doing with teaching, except this is a field that I don't know as much about. Therefore, I get frustrated and angry at myself sometimes because of my lack of knowledge. Yet, that is what pushes me to want to do better and learn more. This is one area my competitive nature actually does me good!

As for any other ventures that I can branch out into Mr. Anonymous, I would love for you to give me some suggestions. I could use some for sure. Especially if it offers an opportunity for some physical contact and elbow throwing....I sure miss basketball!