Giving it all You Got!

Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough? Maybe you took on a new job and had to learn new things. Did you feel like you just couldn't keep up? Maybe you are a worn out mom or dad who feels like you just don't have enough energy. Maybe you are sitting in church and want to get involved but just don't feel like you can help. Maybe you are a student with a workload that doesn't seem to get any lighter. Maybe you are a giving everything you have to make something work. Does it feel like you just can't do anything right?

Recently, we hosted The Straightforward Son's 1st Annual Pumpkin Party at our home. I am the Straightforward Mom so I am going to hand it to you with all honesty. My house was a living mess. I am not organized. I am a pack rat. I hate doing dishes (even with a dishwasher). Our laundry has seemed to double since the Straightforward Baby has arrived. Our house isn't completely painted on the outside. My porch has more toys than decorative items. Thanks to fall, leaves are starting to overtake our yard. Toys are overtaking our lives. So, as you can imagine (especially those who are neat freaks or are super organized), I was not prepared for what was about to hit. This party started out as a project for the homeschooling Straightforward Cousin. As many of you know (and thank you so much for all the prayers), he has been in the hospital for about two weeks. All of the planning fell on me.

I struggled for several days to get motivated. I began feeling overwhelmed. I started to feel like I was doing a lot, but doing very few things well. Something in my head (Uh....the Devil, duh) was telling me that I was failure and that I would never get done. He honestly had me believing that people were going to show up and nothing would be there for them.

Something eventually kicked in. I realized that I was having a pity party and that I had to pick myself up by my suspenders (although I really want a pair, I don't have any) and get started. As the preparations started to get underway, I saw how excited the Straightforward Son was about the party. His excitement was contagious. I started to get excited. As we got closer to the start time though, I fell back into my old ways of getting anxious and bossy. I felt it coming and didn't know how to stop it. Luckily, things started to ease up and I was able to finish with the help of some great family. (It is so true that God knows when we have had enough and intervenes.)

Needless to say, the party went off great (except for the impending tornado). I think the kids had a great time and the adults were able to relax and talk. Was my house completely clean? Did I get up on a ladder and finish painting? Were the leaves even touched? Did anyone notice that our red door isn't completely finished? Did my living room stop looking like a nursery? NO. But did everyone have a path to the bathroom? Was there enough food? Did the kids have a super time? YES. I realized, that sometimes, the things that we let creep in and make us feel less than acceptable aren't really what matter anyhow.

The world is so good at making us feel not good enough. Watch TV for just a few minutes. Home shows make you look at your own home and realize how small, messy, and underdecorated (or in my case badly decorated) it is compared to others. Commercials make you realize that you don't have a perfect complexion--even with make-up. Forget about how they make you feel about your body and hair. Even reality TV doesn't make you feel better (when it should). I love Project Runway (I know this shocks some of you who know me at all. The worst dresser ever loves a show about fashion--see, there I go again!). Watching stick thin girls strut their stuff makes me realize how much my body has changed with having children. Then I look at the designers. Most of them are so talented! I will never be able to sew or see colors and patterns the way they do.

I am here to say turn off that TV and look to the Bible. Most people say, "How can I compare to David, Moses, Esther, or even Abraham?" It is true that we may never live up to being called "a man after God's own heart" or "a friend of God." But looking at their lives should make us actually feel better about our own. Examine David's life and you will find one full of victories. However, you will also find one full of trials and failures. Have you ever taken someone's spouse? Have you basically had their spouse killed because you wanted what they had? Consider the life of Abraham. Have you ever passed your husband or wife off as your sibling? Did you do it twice? What about Moses? Have you ever given God excuses as to why you couldn't do something? Have you ever killed a man?

Recently, looking at their lives have given me hope. Issues that I feel are so big seem to pale in comparison to these failures. Don't get me wrong--sin is sin. However, I often sweat over the small things until I blow them into big things. My house isn't clean so I feel it means I am a bad mother. I am still learning my new job--will I ever learn how to be good at this? I still make snarky comments at the Straightforward Dad--how can he deal with me all the time? Guess what? I am not perfect, but I am definitely going to take a tip from the people of the Bible and keep trying. Even they were not able to perfect their lives--but they gave it all they had. I know a pumpkin party seems like a small thing to many people, but I wanted it to be perfect. I gave it all I had. Even though it wasn't perfect, it was pretty darn good. I just need to start tackling the rest of my issues with that much gusto. I hope this encourages you to keep trying and to be like the heroes of the Bible--without the killing.

Field Tripping with the Straightforward Son

I experienced a “mom first” this week. I chaperoned the Straightforward Son’s first school field trip. (I can't tell you the last time I had been on a field trip where A) I was completely responsible or B) had to set up the whole field trip. It was sure nice to watch someone else sweat for a change!) I decided to make this a special day just for us. I got the Straightforward Granny to watch the Straightforward Baby so that I could direct all my attention to the excited field tripper. We climbed into our “school car.” (For those of you who don’t know, it’s my baby that I hardly get to drive anymore—the Mustang. The Straightforward Son rides with dad to school each day in momma’s beauty.) He jabbered all the way to school. We get to the classroom and he clamps on to my leg like a pair of skinny jeans (for those of you wondering, I don’t wear them—I just know some people do and I have NO idea how they pour themselves in those things). Those of you who know this very not shy little boy would have been shocked to see him. After a few minutes, I was able to pry him off my leg and get him to play with the other kids.

He had decided that he wanted me to drive him instead of riding the bus with some of the other kids. I was okay with that because it would offer us more one-on-one time. The teacher announced it was time to load up and he bolted out the door. We get in the car and he decides he has to buckle himself in. So he undoes what I have just done and decides to do it his way. (This of course meant me having to do what I did all over again when he got frustrated with it.) He then announced that we had to have Tom Tom. (We were only going 12 minutes away.) I sat up Tom Tom and made sure he could see it. It was a fun drive behind the bus. There were at least twenty cars following the bus—parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters were all tagging along. At one point, a car pulled over to the side of the road and watched us go by. The poor guy thought it was a funeral procession. The Straightforward Son also wanted to hold my hand on the way there. I was happy to oblige, even though I was in the front and he was in the back. My arm was not as happy by the time we arrived at our destination. My arm felt like it had been ripped off and bent in ways it was not meant to know. However, I had the biggest smile when we got out because I know I was the only mom that had that request on the ride over!

We arrived at a beautiful little farm in Cleveland. It was one of those places you generally see in pictures. If you are ever looking for a place to get married, this farm would make for a beautiful outdoor wedding. The pictures would be great. They had a fun itinerary for the kids. We took a hayride (to my amazement, the “farmer” giving us a ride was a fellow Piedmont athlete that I hadn’t seen in years) and were dropped off at the cutest mini maze. They had hay bales set up in a maze that was perfect for kids. After the maze, we went to see the animals. The Straightforward Son got a kick out of the horse thinking his hair was hay. He giggled and jumped as the horse chomped away at his head. His favorite was definitely the turtles. They allowedthem to walk around and the kids thought that was great.

At this point, the Straightforward Son went into meltdown mode. Luckily, snack arrived and that helped some. However, during one of the games afterward, he lost it and fell apart over a game of horseshoes. (Seriously, what three year old loses their self-control over horseshoes?) They took us to see the bridge and finally, the trip was over. As we headed back to the car, I couldn’t have been happier. In my mind, I knew if I didn’t get him somewhere he could nap soon, another meltdown was inevitable. Unfortunately, the business woman in me had to stop and ask some questions about the farm and pictures. While I was talking, the Straightforward Son invited two other boys to hang out in the Mustang (he had just met them at the farm for the first time—they were not with our group). They had a good time crawling around and talking. As we were pulling away, he again decided he needed to put his seatbelt on and we had to do the routine all over again.

As we talked about his favorite things on the way home, he fell asleep. As I sat there trying to find my way home (the bus had left me at that point and I had forgotten to plug Tom Tom back in), I was so thankful that I had made this a special time for just the two of us. Recently, the Straightforward Baby has been requiring more attention and I knew it was the perfect opportunity for some much needed “mommy time.” Also, this is a memory that only I get to share with him. He might not remember it, but I will. When he’s older, I’ll get to show him the pictures of the horse eating his hair and say, “Remember when. . .” just like my parents have done with me. How fast do they grow up? As I watched him make new friends in the Mustang, I realized what a big boy I had on my hands. I realized he no longer needed me to introduce him to new friends.He was doing just fine on his own. In fact, he was introducing me to his friends from school. (I think he realizes that mommy spends too much time at home and needs more friends!) I am just thankful that I made the time to be with him on such a special day!

I am JoyFall!

Wow! For those of you who are able to feel the amazing fall weather right now, how blessed are we? It has been incredible! I have to admit, I love summer, but fall is completely wonderful. Watching God paint the colors of fall in only the way He can is always fun for me and my family.

Fall is not only a time of beauty and great weather, it seems to be the time when the whole Straightforward Family gets sick or "falls" under the weather (a little weather joke for you--sorry). When looking at our family expenses this month, we estimated that we had spent almost $200 in doctor co-pays alone. (This doesn't include all the medication and medical necessities that went along with those co-pays!) Don't get me wrong. If my family is sick, I am the first person who starts to stress and wants to pack the whole clan into the car to get checked. (We all know that if one gets it, the whole clan gets it!) We have insurance and you better believe we are going to use it. We also have the best doctor. I should do a review for him on here, but I don't want to embarrass him with all the wonderful things I would say!

Not only do we get sick and have to put out money for the doctor and medications, we also have to pay for two car tags (one of those car tags happens to be our most expensive). Again, don't get me wrong. I am super grateful for our vehicles. I am especially grateful for our Honda Pilot (I should probably review it as well. I know very little about cars except Mustangs are awesome and cars have dipsticks). It has been a blessing to our family and we have been able to use it to help others as well.

Other expenses tend to show up as we go along throughout the fall for this or that. Added to this money crunch is the pressure of the looming holiday season. (I am a sucker for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I am going to admit this, and you better keep it to yourself--I actually enjoy the fact that Christmas stuff is out. I know this irritates most people, but Christmas is just a lot of fun for our family.) This pressure tends to make you worry more and relax less. I realized a few days ago that the financial and health stresses were starting to affect my wonder and enjoyment of all that God was doing this season. I decided to lay it in His hands and enjoy every second of fall. For example, I took the Straightforward Dad on a surprise fall picnic on Friday--no Straightforward Kids allowed. It was just me, him, some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (yeah, I went all out), and some great fall weather. I also spent some time outside with the Straightforward Son. We learned how to run the bases in baseball and how to do a touchdown dance. The Straightforward Baby and I spent time looking at leaves (some of them ended up being partially eaten) and swinging on the front porch swing. At some point, I am not sure when, I forgot about all those stresses that were getting me down. Of course they are still there and won't go away completely. Yet somewhere between picking leaves out of someone's mouth, dancing like a maniac while neighbors were driving by, and holding hands with one of the world's most handsome men, my focus changed. My joy for fall, and life, came rushing back.

I encourage you to get out and enjoy this weather. Use it as a distraction from all the negatives, and make it a way to focus on all the blessings in your life. Go ahead and reclaim your joy. If you are living in a location where fall isn't as evident as it is here, find a way to infuse a little fall into your world. Grab yourself a pumpkin and some other fall treats and make a few new fall traditions. I promise you, your problems will seem to "fall" by the wayside. (Sorry! Had to slip it in there again!)

Review: Bradley's Pumpkin Patch (Dawsonville, GA)

Some of you who are my Facebook friends already know that we took the Straightforward Family out to visit Bradley's Pumpkin Patch on Saturday. It was the perfect day for an October outing. Just to give you a little background info, the Bradley in the name was a previous student of mine. I am not blessed enough to say that I taught him agriculture, but I did teach him some history (well, I hope I taught him enough to appreciate where he comes from and what type of legacy he will leave). I also taught with his mom several years ago. They are great people and have a special family.

Bradley has been in the pumpkin business since he was five years old. Yes, you heard me right--five years old. When you drive up to the patch, you won't see a little boy run out to greet you though. You will meet one of the most respectful, kind businessmen you will ever meet. (He's pretty strong too! He carried some pretty large pumpkins for some customers that would impress most people.) Even though Bradley is in college, his heart is still in his work and the patch is busier than ever!

As usual in my blogs, I have digressed so I will get back to the story. We pull up to the patch and are greeted by some of the funniest signs you might find in a pumpkin patch. My favorite was the "Slow Pumpkin Crossing" sign that is right at the entrance. He also has a directional road sign that tells you how far to the patch and the North Pole (just in case you were wondering). The first thing you will notice when you arrive is the intimate setting of the patch. You might be thinking, "That's the strangest way anyone has ever described a pumpkin patch." I am not kidding. Even though there are tons of people milling around checking out the shop, pumpkins, hayride and more, you don't feel like you crowded by people like at some other pumpkin patches. You definitely feel like you are family (and they treat you like family).

The Straightforward Son enjoyed the Little Tikes roller coaster and other yard toys that were

all around the patch. He rode it forwards, backwards, and sideways. I thought at some point I would look over and he would be riding on his head. A pan of bubble juice (ok, I know that's not what it is called, but you know what I am talking about) sat near the pumpkins with wands of various shapes and sizes. The Straightforward Son made so many friends over the pan of bubble juice. (No, he wasn't drinking it!)

The hayride is an experience I will never forget. Bradley's dad is the driver. At first glance, it seems like any other hayride. The stories that you will hear from Mr. Weaver will fascinate and encourage you. You cannot get off that ride without feeling better about yourself and your kids. If you think I am kidding, go for a ride. He makes you feel special and tells stories that will

deepen your faith and relationships. His storytelling skills will amaze you.

If you check the website, you will find that they also offer classes at various times on dehydrating vegetables, baking bread, and more. I took some time to check out one of the classes that was in progress while I was there. (I can hear the jokes already.) Not only did I actually learn something about cooking (and we all know that is miraculous), but I learned how to save some money! To make things even better, free samples were passed around.

The shop offers all kinds of interesting things. From soaps to salsa, you will find a little something for everyone. I even had one customer tell me that she had bought a homemade musical toy in the store for $5.00 that she had seen in other handmade stores retailing for $50.00! The shop itself is an old home that has been moved to the property. It is gorgeous and adds a little something special to the experience.

And last but not least. . .the pumpkins. They have various sizes and types. It doesn't take much of a glance to realize that these pumpkins aren't those that you will pick up in front of Wal-Mart. These pumpkins have great shape and color. When I told the Straightforward Son he could pick out any pumpkin he wanted, I watched as his eyes lit up. In my mind I saw him running to a pumpkin that was just as big as him and saying, "Mommy! This one is what I want!" To my surprise, he ran right through the large pumpkins to the small pumpkins in the front. He grabbed two by the stems, held them up and said, "Mommy! I'll take these right here." Just goes to show that sometimes the small things in life are the best! The Straightforward Baby also found his own little pumpkin to take home and love (or chew). They are also famous for their cooking pumpkins (For all of you who are laughing that I even know that, I read it in Taste of the South magazine--http://www.bradleyspumpkinpatch.com/magazine.pdf). The fall decorations there are not only a good buy, but are beautiful to boot!

If you are looking for a great place to take your kids for a photo, this is the place to go. They didn't care that I sat the Straightforward Baby right in the middle of all their pumpkins trying for fifteen minutes to get him to look at me. There were families all over the patch doing the same thing. They also have several other photo shots set up for your convenience. If you can't get a good shot here, I don't know where you will get one.

Needless to say, Bradley's Pumpkin Patch is one of our new family traditions. If you haven't had your October adventure yet (or are looking for a tradition of your own), go check out Bradley's Pumpkin Patch. You can get more information at http://www.bradleyspumpkinpatch.com/. You can also pick up a copy of Georgia Magazine this month (http://georgiamagazine.com/currentissue.asp) . You might just recognize the guy smiling on the cover!

How to Save a Life

This is going to be one of those blogs that not everyone is going to agree with or love. However, being the person I am, I had to address the topic that made me so livid recently. The other night, (We were in between watching the Braves lose their 1st game of the post season. I am still mad at Brooks Conrad concerning his post season play. Anybody right there with me?) the Straightforward Dad and I happened to catch Alan Colmes having a discussion with a female commentator and Sean Hannity. I remember watching Colmes when he was actually on the show with Hannity. In a way, I used to feel sorry for him. He seemed like a nice guy, but I just didn't agree with his thoughts on politics. He also had to sit across from Hannity who made him look like a timid mouse at times. My pity for him dissolved last night quicker than the Straightforward Son can count to 20 (let's just say he skips numbers).

The other night, Colmes makes the comment to Hannity, "who was he" to determine when life begins? This was the justification he gave for his support of a woman's right to chose. Seriously? That's your argument?

Ever since I became a mom, my pro-life stance has gotten stronger. From the moment I realized that I was pregnant (and I had a pretty good idea that something was up when I started peeing like crazy and swelling), I knew something special was happening. I recognized that I was carrying a human life. I am sure most of the moms you know, discover they are pregnant and say, "Yeah, my husband and I are so excited about the little mass inside me!" Most mothers recognize a difference right away. Consider the mothers who feel that tremendous state of loss even at the earliest stages of a miscarriage? If it's not a life, why are they so upset? Is it because of it's potential? I would argue that it's because they have felt that new life inside them and losing it is devastating. Now, I can't speak on behalf of those who have had miscarriages since I have never experienced one. However, I have seen and talked to grieving mothers who have lost children at all stages of pregnancy. It's never easy.

So, since some people believe that they can't pinpoint when life begins, it's ok to have an abortion? Wow. I do not want to stand before God and say, well I wasn't sure so I just took a chance that it wasn't a person yet. I guess I am in the minority today when I believe God when He says, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart." (Jer. 1:5) Notice it says "before" we were formed in the womb. In my heart, I believe that He knows about us before our parents have an idea that we are going to arrive. (Some of you babies were BIG surprises!)

I think the reasoning that makes me the most irritated is, "It's my body and I don't want anyone telling me what I can do with it." That's all good and fine if you are talking about someone telling you whether or not you will shave your legs or get breast implants. We are talking about another human life in this scenario. Do they not have any rights just because they can't talk? You are sharing your body with someone else. It's not just about you anymore.

How can you save a life? Support babies that have no voice. Support women who have nowhere else to turn. Offer them love and any help you can give. I think abortion is the biggest slap in the face to women who cannot have children. It adds insult to injury in my opinion. Whether or not someone wants the baby they are carrying, there are plenty of want-to-be parents waiting to open their loving home to a child they can call their own. Saving those babies for people who can't conceive is priceless. Caring for all people (even those in the womb) is our way of serving God. It's is probably one of the most important ways as the Bible says, "The entire law is summed up in a single command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' (Gal. 5:14)" As my pastor said on Sunday, "We love people when they are right, and we should still love people when they are wrong. (I guess I will have to start with Colmes, huh?)

I constantly hear people telling me how I should think and believe on so many levels about abortion. The other is that I am "intolerant." To be honest, I am sick of people being intolerant to me. Well, I am standing up right now and telling all of those people, you can't tell me what to think or believe. I know what's right in my heart. If you don't like it, that's too bad. I also have just as much right as you to voice my thoughts and beliefs. People (at any stage) are important to me. Very little has been more precious to me than nurturing and giving life to the two Straightforward Boys. If you don't like that, well, that's just too bad. You better believe that if I have a third child, I won't be calling it a mass. . .it will always be my baby.

Review: Stone Mountain Park & the Pumpkin Festival

I scheduled another field trip for the Straightforward Cousin to Stone Mountain Park on October 1st. We ended up taking the whole crew down to Atlanta with us for Homeschool Day at the park. They were offering an amazing deal to homeschool students--$17.50 for the Adventure Pass. Considering the normal cost of going there and getting the Adventure Pass, this was quite the opportunity. We were also in luck (or so I thought) since it was also the first day of the Pumpkin Festival .

We piled everyone into the Straightforward family car and headed towards Atlanta. First amazing fact--NO BATHROOM BREAKS! Can you believe it? I was shocked. We arrive earlier than expected and the Straightforward Baby decides he is starving (this ended up being a great thing since this gave us plenty of time to do what we needed before lunch). Not a soul is parked around us, so I sit in the front seat to "feed" the baby. As soon as I do, this van pulls up out of nowhere and parks on my side of the car. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? And of course, the dad is driving and pulls up facing me. Not only that, but two brothers also get out of the car ON MY SIDE. Out of the hundreds of parking spots that were around, they chose to park right next to me. Go figure.

Anyway, we decided to check out the Pumpkin Festival first (after the official 1st visit to the very nice restrooms and my 1st official freak out--thinking I had left my camera memory card at home). Stone Mountain--are you kidding me? You can't throw about 75 pumpkins on the ground for sale and call it a festival. Ok, so I am exaggerating just a bit. There were about 50 pumpkins on the ground (at $7.00 a pop). There were also some strategically placed large plastic pumpkins and some cute pumpkin people around the park as well. However, when I hear pumpkin festival, I am thinking all things pumpkin. I expected huge real pumpkins, pumpkin treats, and demonstrations with pumpkins (I am not sure what I thought they would do with the pumpkins, but they are always demonstrating things there, so why not?)

After all our pumpkin dreams had been smashed, (Straightforward Son was still looking for a real pumpkin patch) we headed towards the tramway to the top of the mountain. This is always

a fun trip for me. Something about being on a huge rock with a beautiful blue sky surrounding me is invigorating. Of course, the Straight Son was fighting the trip up on the little car dangling by a thread. However, once we got in and the conductor mentioned popcorn, he brightened right away and entertained everyone for the rest of the trip up. It was the perfect day to be on that rock. There were pools of water from the rain that had fallen the day before and the look of it made you feel like you were on the moon. It was incredible.

After the purchase of some Scooby Snacks (I won't even bother telling you how much that cost) and a trip down on the tramway, we headed towards the plantation. No one explained that we would

have to hike there, but we finally made our way to where it was located. We saw some beautiful old homes and gardens. Several wonderful workers dressed in antebellum clothes were walking around and were so kind to us and the kids. We even got to try tomatoes right off the vine from their garden! They were very good! The best part was the animal area where the kids had to fight off the goats as they tried to eat their clothes. It was hilarious!

We ate a picnic lunch outside the park, then went back to try Sky Hike. I am not one for heights, but this looked like it would be entertaining. The Straightforward Cousin has a huge fear of heights, but he agreed to go with me and the Straightforward Dad. As we slowly made our way across the network of ropes, ladders and boards, the Straightforward Boys spent their time with my aunt and uncle going through the mini Sky Hike. (Ok, so the Straightforward Baby wasn't doing any climbing, but he was having a blast watching his brother!) It's interesting how your fear of heights doesn't seem so bad when you know you are attached to metal and you are trying to figure out how to get across things without making a total idiot of yourself in front of a ton of people.

After Sky Hike, we split up and headed in different directions. My group headed to mini-golf while the other group headed to the museum. Mini-golf was a total bust. We were behind a group of eight people (yeah, so much for the rule of groups of four) and it truly seemed like they were playing every hole twice. Keeping the Straightforward Son from teeing off while other groups were waiting was a challenge, but we still had fun. We quit early to make the last train ride. Ahhhhh.....riding in the fall breeze around a huge rock was nice. It was so nice that the Straightforward Son drifted off to sleep in the seat. Luckily, we caught him before any damage was done.

All in all it was a great trip. I encourage anyone who homeschools to take advantage of this offer next year. We really learned a lot and the workers were incredibly friendly and helpful. Just don't expect a whole lot of pumpkin festivities (or pumpkin juggling--now that would have been a demonstration) while you are there!

Review: The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands--Dr. Schlessinger

Recently, I had someone suggest the book The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger to me. It sounded like something I should be learning more about since I am a wife. (And now that I think about it, why did the person who suggested the book to me think I needed it? Hmmm.....) If you don't know, Dr. Schlessinger is a therapist who is an author and radio show host. People call her show to complain about their partners and other issues and she attempts to help them "see the light" and become better people. I have heard her radio program and have agreed and disagreed with her thoughts and ways of helping others. I figured the book was worth a try. (Also, it would probably be easier to read than most Dr. Seuss books that I currently read to the Straightforward boys. Have you ever tried to read Fox in Socks?)

Boy, was I shocked! Of course I knew that she thought that all moms should be at home and that women cause a lot of their own heartache, but I didn't realize the extent of her beliefs until I read this book. I had gotten the impression that she believed that we, as women, were nothing but trouble makers. As I sifted through all the examples from listeners and callers to her program, I realized that she believes that we hold an incredible amount of influence over our husbands and marriages. According to her, we basically hold our own happiness and fulfillment in our own hands. Really?

She then goes on to say that men are fairly simple creatures and when their needs are met, they treat their women with adoration and care. I found myself reading accounts from men who were treated very poorly by their wives and yet, had not run off or fell into any other types of infidelity. I was amazed! Some of the women she described were completely horrible to their husbands--even on a national radio program!

What was even scarier was that I found myself reading excerpts and realizing that I had said or thought similar things that were being brought out in the book. Was I really like so many other women? The point that really hit home for me was when she discussed taking time for your marriage and making it the top priority. This is where I was, as the kids say, an "epic" failure. I know the Straightforward Dad would agree that since the Straightforward Boys have been born, they have taken the top spot on my priority list. They consumed my thoughts, my time, and even my fears (I can see some of you moms out there nodding your heads). Since reading this book, I have taken a step back and made some adjustments. My boys still consume much of my life, but they can never take the place of my husband and the time I need to spend nurturing our relationship. I was just like the women described in the book who spent more time nurturing their children and trying to be successful at everything else, than deepening my relationship with the person with whom I am supposed to be spending the rest of my life.

Now, she and I don't agree on everything. However, I do see more value to her thoughts to a woman's role in this world. I also agree that feminism has done a lot to destroy the marriage relationship. It had even tainted my own views more than I would like to admit. Thanks to this book, I found a lot to work on and the kick in the butt I needed to try to create a better environment for the hunky and incredible Mr. Straightforward Dad. (Ok, so the book said I need to make him feel like a man and I am still working on learning to do that!)

The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands is a must read for every woman. Whether you are dating, about to get married, are married, or just want to learn more about men, this is a very helpful and easy read (only 180 pages for you moms that have about as much time as I do). Keep in mind, you may not agree with everything she says, but finding those nuggets of truth are worth more than the stuff you won't like. Believe me, there will be those moments when you think she has lost her mind, but then there are those moments where a light will come on and you think, "Poop. She's just described me!" Maybe you won't say poop, but you will definitely feel called out.

Dinner for Two

As most of you know, my husband's birthday was Thursday. We called our handy dandy babysitters (Ok, it was the Straightforward Grandparents but they are still handy dandy) and set off for a wonderful and amazing night on the town. We made it to Longhorns, Big Lots, and K-Mart. Yes, for the Straightforward Parents, that's a night without the kids. (However, our date nights usually include a visit to Wal-mart, but we decided to spice things up with two new locations.)

Can I just say that I almost didn't know what to do with myself? I had forgotten what it was like to go to an eating establishment of any kind without forty trips to the restroom, feeding half my food to the Straightforward Baby (yeah, he's eating big people food), trying to keep the Straightforward Son from dancing on the table, or going out to the car to retrieve a blanket, toy, or nippy (that's the pacifier in our household). We just sat there and wondered what we would talk about. Hmmm........Sadly, our conversation even wandered to the lighting in the restaurant. What did we talk about before we had kids? (Single people and married without kids, don't lose me yet! There's something you should know coming up!)

I have read several different items recently that have talked about making special time with your spouse a priority. After that meal, I honestly believe that should be a priority. As a mom, I have felt that my #1 priority should be my children, and that all my time, effort, and devotion should be directed towards them. Earth to the Straightforward Mom--you aren't always right!

Don't get me wrong. Parents should love their children with all their hearts. Yet, we have to remember there is someone else in the mix that got those kids there in the first place! (This ain't called the Straightforward Mom for nothing!) If moms don't make their husbands a priority, there will be no marriage there for the children they so desperately love. It took several articles to open my eyes to this fact.

Recently in "my journey to the point," I have been working very hard to make my husband more of a priority. (His birthday dinner was part of this new effort.) This has not been an easy task. Even though I am self-employed and at home more now than ever before, I feel more busy than when I was working seventy plus hours at my very first job. (The cleanliness of my home does not reflect this, but I assure you that this is the truth.) I have tried to make time for him at the end of each day that is just "us" time. The mouth with which I often get myself in great trouble with has been tamed (ok, I am not all the way there yet, but I am making progress--I say less mean things than before). I am trying to show him that I adore him and that his companionship is important to me. Remember ladies, when our children are grown and out of our homes, that's the person who will be picking us up out of the depths of despair. He will be the one that fills that void and takes up our time. If we don't nurture that relationship with as much (dare I say more?) care as we do our children, what will we have when our children are have moved on to lives of their own?

Pretty soon, I will be reviewing a book I just read on this very topic. I hope that you will come back and check it out....and by the way, I ran 3.2 miles on Saturday. I am contemplating signing up for my first 5K so that I can beat up on myself instead of my knight in shining armor!