I know you devoted followers out there have been wondering why in the world I have not been posting lately! Well, that's a good question. I have a good answer--I have been busy! As if being a mother of two fiesty little boys wasn't enough, I have added teacher, photographer, part-time worker, maid, and much more back on to the list recently. Don't get me wrong! I am not complaining in the least. I am just explaining my absence.
I decided in the quiet moments of this late evening to take the time to encourage all you people out in the virtual world to take some time to breathe. I have not done that in the last few weeks. I have rushed, rushed, rushed through every activity, phone call, work activity, Bible study, etc. To make it worse, I feel like I even rushed through our annual camping trip last weekend! I am going to do my best to chill out the next few days and focus on the must do's (feeding my kids, our animals, and dealing with the necessities of life) and do a few of the I want to do's. I am going to blog some, read some, run some and more. I don't care what it takes....I am not going to rush the next few days. I encourage you to do the same!
Before you know it...you'll be rushing to your grave....and Lord knows I don't want to do that!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Great Expectations
I have been reading the book of Mark before I go to bed each night. Last night, I read the following:
"And they come unto him, bringing one sick of the palsy, which was borne of four.
"And they come unto him, bringing one sick of the palsy, which was borne of four.
4And when they could not come nigh unto him for the press, they uncovered the roof where he was: and when they had broken it up, they let down the bed wherein the sick of the palsy lay.
5When Jesus saw their faith, he said unto the sick of the palsy, Son, thy sins be forgiven thee.
6But there was certain of the scribes sitting there, and reasoning in their hearts,
7Why doth this man thus speak blasphemies? who can forgive sins but God only?
8And immediately when Jesus perceived in his spirit that they so reasoned within themselves, he said unto them, Why reason ye these things in your hearts?
9Whether is it easier to say to the sick of the palsy, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and take up thy bed, and walk?
10But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (he saith to the sick of the palsy,)
11I say unto thee, Arise, and take up thy bed, and go thy way into thine house.
12And immediately he arose, took up the bed, and went forth before them all; insomuch that they were all amazed, and glorified God, saying, We never saw it on this fashion."
As I read the passage, the order of events struck me as odd. Here is a man who desperately needs to be physically HEALED. His friends go through all this effort to drop him through the roof to be HEALED by Jesus. The most obvious thing that needs to be done is the HEALING of this man's body. (Did I drive home my point enough?) What happens when he finally is set before Jesus? Jesus sees faith and forgives the man's sin.
Maybe you are on a holier plain than I, but my first thought was, "Forgiving his sins? What about the poor guy's body?" Forgiveness was not what I expected. I have heard the story hundreds of times, but I never realized the order of the events--or the significance. I had to put myself in the place of this man. Here I am, finally getting my chance after years of suffering to be healed. There is all this build up as my friends rip up the roof to lower me through. I am laying at the feet of Jesus and He says, "Son, thy sins be forgiven thee." I don't know if that is what the man expected, but it wouldn't be what I expected. I would have expected Him to tell me to get up and run a few laps around the synagogue. I wish I knew what was going through that guy's mind when Jesus forgave him of his sins first. Was that what he expected??
As I read on into the chapter, I realized that in a way, I was having an attitude like that of the scribes. I wasn't questioning Jesus' ability to forgive sins, but I was questioning his judgment. Who was I to decide what needed to happen first? Who were these scribes to question Him? Who was I to say the order of how the Son of God does things?
As I thought more about it, the order of events made more sense. What was more important--the forgiveness of this man's sins or the healing of his body? Obviously, the forgiveness of his sins should have been the first thing on his mind when coming before the Son of God. Hopefully, this man was nothing like me--I would have expected to be healed. Yet, God did something much greater for this man than healing his physical body.
I wrote all this to say this--how often do we expect God to work in a certain way and it doesn't turn out how we think it should? I know I am so guilty of thinking I know how things should work out. Admit it! We all have these grand ideas and then we realize that our Heavenly Father has something even greater for us, beyond what we have expected. For instance, the man in the book of Mark probably never expected to be healed. He probably never expected to have the Son of God ever come near enough to him to be healed. When he saw the crowd he probably never expected to get close enough to have a chance encounter. The list could go on and on.
Recently, my expectations have not been great by any means. In fact, I would say I have been expecting the worst. The truth is, we should expect great things. We have a mighty God who thought enough of us to die for us. Does this mean that everything will be great and perfect? No. Does that mean that God's plan always include only hilltops and no valleys? No way. Should we always expect our will to be the best way? You have got to be kidding! What we do have is hope. We should also expect our God to do great things. You will find that He exceeds even our greatest hopes.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Home Improvement Challenge #3: Old habits die hard
I know, I know! Don't yell at me! I took a vacation and didn't blog the next challenge. I know there are people out there waiting! I am very sorry! But here it is without delay!!
So far, you should be getting active and drinking more water. I am proud to say that I have been able to keep up with both so far. The water still gets me here and there, but for the most part, I am drinking more water. In fact, I have been saving money when we go out to eat by ALWAYS ordering water! I have easily saved over 20 bucks on vacation by just getting water where we went.
Now we are on to the third challenge. The third challenge is to kick a bad habit. I believe that from the time I was in the womb, I have been biting my nails. I have never, ever had pretty or nice nails that were real. For one glorious moment I had some nice nails (on my wedding day and for some of my honeymoon). But alas, they did not last long. I have tried for years to quit. I have tried everything that I can think of to stop chewing them but it never lasts long.
A few weeks ago, I started to try again. I did well until they started breaking. Apparently salt water and golf will make them weak. (That's what I was exposed to on my vacation.....I know....horrible conditions.) Even when they were breaking, I did my best not to chew them. Most of the time it did not work. I ended up biting them off so the irritation didn't overwhelm me. So here I am, back from vacation with little or nothing to show. I have three nails that I kept from chewing off (and one of them is halfway off from breaking). This is much harder than the water drinking challenge for me. This is something I have almost ingrained into my being. However, when I decided to kick a bad habit, there was not a thing in the world I wanted to stop doing more than this. Biting my nails has been the one thing that has had the most control over me. I know it sounds stupid, but it is true. It is completely gross and I hate doing it, but I do it without even realizing it sometimes.
So here I am, feeling like I am back at square one with this one. I'll be right there with you when you start this one! Think of something you would really like to stop. Maybe for you it is smoking, over eating, or any other type of addiction. I am encouraging you to take this opportunity, while you have people to hold you accountable, to give it up. With the help of the accountability partners gained in this challenge, I know I can nip this in the bud. That means that you can do it too!
We need more people who are ready to improve their life! Come join us on Facebook at the Home Improvement Challenge! You can find us at http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/groups/235403529814269/. Join the group and keep up with the challenges! It's a great place to find encouragement and a way to make changes in your life!
What habit are you willing to kick? (Yeah, that's right....I called you out! What are you WILLING to give up?) Leave a message and let us know what bad habit you will be giving up for this stage of the challenge!!
So far, you should be getting active and drinking more water. I am proud to say that I have been able to keep up with both so far. The water still gets me here and there, but for the most part, I am drinking more water. In fact, I have been saving money when we go out to eat by ALWAYS ordering water! I have easily saved over 20 bucks on vacation by just getting water where we went.
Now we are on to the third challenge. The third challenge is to kick a bad habit. I believe that from the time I was in the womb, I have been biting my nails. I have never, ever had pretty or nice nails that were real. For one glorious moment I had some nice nails (on my wedding day and for some of my honeymoon). But alas, they did not last long. I have tried for years to quit. I have tried everything that I can think of to stop chewing them but it never lasts long.
A few weeks ago, I started to try again. I did well until they started breaking. Apparently salt water and golf will make them weak. (That's what I was exposed to on my vacation.....I know....horrible conditions.) Even when they were breaking, I did my best not to chew them. Most of the time it did not work. I ended up biting them off so the irritation didn't overwhelm me. So here I am, back from vacation with little or nothing to show. I have three nails that I kept from chewing off (and one of them is halfway off from breaking). This is much harder than the water drinking challenge for me. This is something I have almost ingrained into my being. However, when I decided to kick a bad habit, there was not a thing in the world I wanted to stop doing more than this. Biting my nails has been the one thing that has had the most control over me. I know it sounds stupid, but it is true. It is completely gross and I hate doing it, but I do it without even realizing it sometimes.
So here I am, feeling like I am back at square one with this one. I'll be right there with you when you start this one! Think of something you would really like to stop. Maybe for you it is smoking, over eating, or any other type of addiction. I am encouraging you to take this opportunity, while you have people to hold you accountable, to give it up. With the help of the accountability partners gained in this challenge, I know I can nip this in the bud. That means that you can do it too!
We need more people who are ready to improve their life! Come join us on Facebook at the Home Improvement Challenge! You can find us at http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/groups/235403529814269/. Join the group and keep up with the challenges! It's a great place to find encouragement and a way to make changes in your life!
What habit are you willing to kick? (Yeah, that's right....I called you out! What are you WILLING to give up?) Leave a message and let us know what bad habit you will be giving up for this stage of the challenge!!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Home Improvement Challenge #2: Give me so mo' H2O!
How has everyone been doing with our Home Improvement Challenge? I am proud to report that, so far, I have been successful! In fact, I have worked my way up to running three miles! I have to admit, I was astonished the first day it happened (and a little overwhelmed)! I didn't realize that I could honestly pull it off. I hope that you have been getting up and walking, jumping, playing sports, or just plain getting out and getting active!
Welcome to Home Improvement Challenge #2! As you know, I try the challenge out before I give it to you because I would never ask you to do something I can't do. To be completely honest, of the two challenges, this one was the absolute toughest for me! Here is your challenge for the next two weeks: Continue your activity schedule (running, walking, whatever you are doing), but add drinking more H2O everyday. In fact, drink more water than any other liquid you might consume during the day.
Let me give you some background on what I am doing. First, I am addicted to sweet tea. For me, it's not coffee, sodas, or energy drinks--give me my tea. What I have been desperately trying to do is limit my intake of caffeine to one cup a day. The rest of the day I drink water. I have to admit, some days have been worse than others. There have been a few days where I have gone completely caffeineless. There have also been a few days where I have had two cups of tea. (No more than two, I promise!!)
I have to say, I have already noticed a difference. I really believe that this played a big part in my ability to finally run three miles. I feel more hydrated during the day and I definitely feel better when I drink water than when I load myself down with other drinks. Keep in mind, you will pee like a fountain till your body gets used to all the water. Also, I am not keeping track of the amount of water I am drinking each day. Later on, I will start keeping track of it, but right now I am just trying to start a habit. When I was pregnant, I found that keeping track of the amount of water I drank really stressed me out and made it harder for me to keep wanting to drink it. Plain and simple, I drink it when I am thirsty.
Not only does this benefit your health, but it also saves you money outside the home. Have you checked the price of drinks at restaurants lately? A family of four can save about $10.00 off their bill at various locations if they drink water. If you ask me, $10.00 is a lot of money! I think it is absolutely ridiculous that restaurants are charging that for soft drinks and tea (especially when I know how much it costs to make tea). Not only will you feel healthier, but you will feel good about spending less money!
Believe me, I know that I am not asking you to do something easy. I know a lot of people who have to have some caffeine to get through the day. This is what is so great about the Home Improvement Challenge--you don't have to cut it out entirely, but you make realistic goals for yourself and make a change. I read an article once about running that said if you run until you are absolutely drained at the end of each session, you are less likely to continue running. I think the same goes for something like this. If you have to cut it out entirely, your head starts spinning and headaches start. Most likely, you will go back to caffeine in a second. I am slowly going to try and wean myself off and enjoy it every once in awhile.
So who's with me? Do you think you can add on this new challenge? I know it's hard, but I need your encouragement to do this! GO TEAM! Leave me a comment and tell me how you are doing so far with the physical activity!
Welcome to Home Improvement Challenge #2! As you know, I try the challenge out before I give it to you because I would never ask you to do something I can't do. To be completely honest, of the two challenges, this one was the absolute toughest for me! Here is your challenge for the next two weeks: Continue your activity schedule (running, walking, whatever you are doing), but add drinking more H2O everyday. In fact, drink more water than any other liquid you might consume during the day.
Let me give you some background on what I am doing. First, I am addicted to sweet tea. For me, it's not coffee, sodas, or energy drinks--give me my tea. What I have been desperately trying to do is limit my intake of caffeine to one cup a day. The rest of the day I drink water. I have to admit, some days have been worse than others. There have been a few days where I have gone completely caffeineless. There have also been a few days where I have had two cups of tea. (No more than two, I promise!!)
I have to say, I have already noticed a difference. I really believe that this played a big part in my ability to finally run three miles. I feel more hydrated during the day and I definitely feel better when I drink water than when I load myself down with other drinks. Keep in mind, you will pee like a fountain till your body gets used to all the water. Also, I am not keeping track of the amount of water I am drinking each day. Later on, I will start keeping track of it, but right now I am just trying to start a habit. When I was pregnant, I found that keeping track of the amount of water I drank really stressed me out and made it harder for me to keep wanting to drink it. Plain and simple, I drink it when I am thirsty.
Not only does this benefit your health, but it also saves you money outside the home. Have you checked the price of drinks at restaurants lately? A family of four can save about $10.00 off their bill at various locations if they drink water. If you ask me, $10.00 is a lot of money! I think it is absolutely ridiculous that restaurants are charging that for soft drinks and tea (especially when I know how much it costs to make tea). Not only will you feel healthier, but you will feel good about spending less money!
Believe me, I know that I am not asking you to do something easy. I know a lot of people who have to have some caffeine to get through the day. This is what is so great about the Home Improvement Challenge--you don't have to cut it out entirely, but you make realistic goals for yourself and make a change. I read an article once about running that said if you run until you are absolutely drained at the end of each session, you are less likely to continue running. I think the same goes for something like this. If you have to cut it out entirely, your head starts spinning and headaches start. Most likely, you will go back to caffeine in a second. I am slowly going to try and wean myself off and enjoy it every once in awhile.
So who's with me? Do you think you can add on this new challenge? I know it's hard, but I need your encouragement to do this! GO TEAM! Leave me a comment and tell me how you are doing so far with the physical activity!
Friday, June 24, 2011
I DID IT!!
I had to bang out a quick blog post to let everyone know that I finally ran a 5K distance yesterday! It felt fantastic! I could not have done it without this Home Improvement Challenge. I have really used the encouragement from others to get off my butt, even when I am exhausted, and get moving! Also, next week I will be posting Challenge #2. This one has been even more of a struggle for me than the getting active regularly challenge. However, I think it made an impact on why I was able to do what I was yesterday. I can already feel a difference in the way I feel about myself and in my moods. (You might want to check with the Straightforward Dad to be sure on that one!) I hope that you are getting active with Challenge #1. I know a lot of you are participating and I would love to hear updates--especially from those who have just started. What are your problems? What walls have you ran into that keep you from doing what you should? We will help you get through them! :)
Sunday, June 19, 2011
A Mother's Reflection on Father's Day
I have been looking forward to writing this post for awhile. I thought it would be most appropriate for Father's Day--sorry it is a few days late!
Growing up, I thought that my dad could pretty much do anything. I felt the same way about my grandpa and my uncle too. I looked up to them and respected them for the men they were. I was amazed at the strength, poise, and love they showed in their lives. When I looked at them, I felt I knew exactly what kind of man I wanted to marry. Please understand, these men were not perfect by any means. However, I felt that they tried to be the best that they could be for me and my sister.
Today, I look at the men I look up to and realize they are still as strong and as loving as they have always been. I also have a new man to look up to in my life. He reminds me a lot of the men that I grew up loving and respecting except he is definitely quieter! I also have two little men that I am grooming to walk in the footsteps of the godly men I grew up watching. It is such a huge responsibility to grow men. I feel the weight of it every day!
The world we live in today makes it even more difficult to raise men. It seems everywhere I turn I see masculinity being criticized and men being made out to be stupid idiots who can't control their desires or their "man parts." I have seen the world heading in this direction for awhile, but it seems even more evident in the media today. Just look at some of the most recent movies that have made big bucks at the theater. Recently, the Straightforward Dad and I went out with some friends (you know who you poor folks are) to see a movie called, "Something Borrowed." I had been wanting to see it for awhile because I love romantic comedies and John Krasinski. After about 15 minutes in the theater, I was already done. I hate to ruin it for anyone, but the main character ends up with the cowardly guy who can't control himself and who won't stick up for her. She then turns down her best friend who has always been in love with her and who is always encouraging her to find someone who truly is good for her. Not only does he not end up with the girl, but at the end of the movie they let the girl who is just as gross as the guy hero of the movie chase after the decent guy. Look through some of the other films out these days and see how many of them don't depict men poorly. I think I have probably said this a million times, but if you keep portraying men this way, they are going to start truly behaving this way. Watch a commercial and you will see the same stupid, perverted, cowardly men who are invading movies these days.
What is so bad about being a man? Why don't we praise men who take care of their families and protect women? The world just doesn't seem interested in men who go to work every day to provide for their families. What about the men with disabled children who carry them to bed every night and read them stories so that mom can take a break? I don't know about you, but those are the men that I want to watch on screen!
I am so thankful that my husband is not one of these demasculinized men. He is such a great example for my boys. Men are called to be the leader of the home. The Straightforward Dad strives to do that and to teach our boys that it is not a bad thing to be a strong man! He is by no means perfect, but he strives to be the best he can be in all capacities. No matter how hard you look, you probably won't find many men who work as hard as he does as a father, husband, worker, etc.
The Straightforward Dad and Son
I bet you are thinking, "Why do you care so much about this topic?" I care because fathers are one of the world's best examples of our Heavenly Father. I was blessed with an earthly father who demonstrated my Heavenly Father's love for me. I have always thought that if my dad loves me as much as he does, how much more must God love me? I try to remind myself of that every time my dad hugs me or tells me he loves me. However, there are millions of people out there who don't have that connection. There are those whose fathers never played a role in their life. Can you imagine those whose fathers abused them? It would be so much harder to believe in a Heavenly Father who loves you beyond what you could ever imagine. What an awesome responsibility men have on their shoulders! What a wake-up call to be the absolute best you can be! This is just another reason why it is so important for father's to be in the home. We mothers do what we can and can do an amazing job--even on our own. However, that connection fathers make just cannot be beat and cannot be compensated for, even by Supermom (and I like to consider myself one of those).
I just wanted to share these thoughts on Fathers from a mom's perspective.
Growing up, I thought that my dad could pretty much do anything. I felt the same way about my grandpa and my uncle too. I looked up to them and respected them for the men they were. I was amazed at the strength, poise, and love they showed in their lives. When I looked at them, I felt I knew exactly what kind of man I wanted to marry. Please understand, these men were not perfect by any means. However, I felt that they tried to be the best that they could be for me and my sister.Today, I look at the men I look up to and realize they are still as strong and as loving as they have always been. I also have a new man to look up to in my life. He reminds me a lot of the men that I grew up loving and respecting except he is definitely quieter! I also have two little men that I am grooming to walk in the footsteps of the godly men I grew up watching. It is such a huge responsibility to grow men. I feel the weight of it every day!
The world we live in today makes it even more difficult to raise men. It seems everywhere I turn I see masculinity being criticized and men being made out to be stupid idiots who can't control their desires or their "man parts." I have seen the world heading in this direction for awhile, but it seems even more evident in the media today. Just look at some of the most recent movies that have made big bucks at the theater. Recently, the Straightforward Dad and I went out with some friends (you know who you poor folks are) to see a movie called, "Something Borrowed." I had been wanting to see it for awhile because I love romantic comedies and John Krasinski. After about 15 minutes in the theater, I was already done. I hate to ruin it for anyone, but the main character ends up with the cowardly guy who can't control himself and who won't stick up for her. She then turns down her best friend who has always been in love with her and who is always encouraging her to find someone who truly is good for her. Not only does he not end up with the girl, but at the end of the movie they let the girl who is just as gross as the guy hero of the movie chase after the decent guy. Look through some of the other films out these days and see how many of them don't depict men poorly. I think I have probably said this a million times, but if you keep portraying men this way, they are going to start truly behaving this way. Watch a commercial and you will see the same stupid, perverted, cowardly men who are invading movies these days.
What is so bad about being a man? Why don't we praise men who take care of their families and protect women? The world just doesn't seem interested in men who go to work every day to provide for their families. What about the men with disabled children who carry them to bed every night and read them stories so that mom can take a break? I don't know about you, but those are the men that I want to watch on screen!
I am so thankful that my husband is not one of these demasculinized men. He is such a great example for my boys. Men are called to be the leader of the home. The Straightforward Dad strives to do that and to teach our boys that it is not a bad thing to be a strong man! He is by no means perfect, but he strives to be the best he can be in all capacities. No matter how hard you look, you probably won't find many men who work as hard as he does as a father, husband, worker, etc.
The Straightforward Dad and SonI bet you are thinking, "Why do you care so much about this topic?" I care because fathers are one of the world's best examples of our Heavenly Father. I was blessed with an earthly father who demonstrated my Heavenly Father's love for me. I have always thought that if my dad loves me as much as he does, how much more must God love me? I try to remind myself of that every time my dad hugs me or tells me he loves me. However, there are millions of people out there who don't have that connection. There are those whose fathers never played a role in their life. Can you imagine those whose fathers abused them? It would be so much harder to believe in a Heavenly Father who loves you beyond what you could ever imagine. What an awesome responsibility men have on their shoulders! What a wake-up call to be the absolute best you can be! This is just another reason why it is so important for father's to be in the home. We mothers do what we can and can do an amazing job--even on our own. However, that connection fathers make just cannot be beat and cannot be compensated for, even by Supermom (and I like to consider myself one of those).
I just wanted to share these thoughts on Fathers from a mom's perspective.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Home Improvement Challenge #1: Get Active--REGULARLY
I don't know about you, but recently, I have felt very blah. Maybe a better way to phrase it is I have been "in a rut." For the last month (probably more), I have been feeling like a tired, spent, sticky, smelly mother of two and wife of one who has too much on her plate and not enough sleep. It has started showing up in my attitude and my appearance. The other day when I looked in the mirror, I realized that I have to put an end to this. It's time to step up and regain some of my former glory (or better yet, some of my former glow). I decided about two weeks ago that I was ready for a change. However, instead of jumping in with both feet all at one time (in the typical Straightforward Mom type way), I decided to approach these changes just like I do a cold pool--one tippy toe at a time. I don't know about you, but I hate cold water with more than a white hot hatred. It completely destroys any shot of me swimming, wading, tubing or the like. If the water is not bath water temperature, I have to ease myself into the water in the slowest manner possible or I will never get in. People always yell at me to just jump in. "It gets it all over with at one time," they tell me. I have done it a few times and it is like a brain freeze for me. It is very painful and it takes me years to get over the event. I realized the same thing happened to me when I tried to implement a bunch of changes (even though much needed) in my life. My head would hurt, things started to spin, and then all I wanted to do was get out of the mess I was in (or that terribly cold pool, to try and pull these two stories together). To keep myself from getting frustrated and quitting before I even got started, I decided to start implementing small changes every two weeks to help me get my motor running more efficiently. It was soon after that the light bulb (that had disappeared for a few months) went off above my head. Wouldn't it be great to start a Home Improvement Challenge on the blog?!?! I know there are other people who are about to hit the "middle of the year slump" (not just other moms) and could use a pick-me-up too! Well, here is the first installment of the Home Improvement Challenge! I hope that you will join me in this quest to defeat the blahs!
I know that most of you have been reading my blog from the very first post. Many of you know that I have been trying to become a runner. (Trying is the key word in that sentence.) I have had all kinds of breakdowns since I first posted my running goals. Actually, I should probably just go ahead and call them what they are--EXCUSES. Yes, even the wonderful Straightforward Mom makes excuses. Cold weather caused me to stay inside more than I wanted. I let it get the best of me (darn you cold weather). Then I had a few unexpected injuries (a few turned ankles, one tumble carrying one of the boys, etc.) that sidelined me for a few weeks or so. Of course, these each lead to my favorite one of all--I was too stinkin' tired. Did you hear me world? I, the most competitive person I know, was too tired to get out and do it. I think that was the one that disappointed me the most. How could I let that get the best of me?
About two weeks ago, I decided that I was going to get into a routine. I started back slowly and decided that no matter how I did it each week, I was going to make a commitment to getting back into it regularly. Personally, I have decided on a schedule of running three days a week with one day of cross training (or in my case, doing something other than running that would be exercise related--even if it is just running stairs at home). Are you wondering what the other three days of the week entail? Two days are used for rest (that means no running or extra-curricular exercising) and the last day can be used for rest on rough weeks or I can add in a tough or light run depending on how energetic/motivated I feel that week. So far, I have made the Straightforward Dad push me out the doors on the days I don't feel like it. When I get back, I am very thankful for his gentle (sometimes not so subtle kick) shove out the door to get me on track. To be quite honest, he likes me better after I run! To be honest, I do too. It helps me drop the stresses of a typical day (and sometimes too typical of a day) and come back energized and ready to take my duties on again. I have even found it gives me some alone time with God. I can get out there and focus on some positive music or even pray! (Please don't go camp out along my route to see if I am running with my eyes closed! You won't get to see me run into any trees or fall of any inclines!)
Now, you may be thinking, "What in the world is she asking me to do to get involved?" First, I am asking you to join me in this first challenge! I am not asking you to run. What I am asking is that you commit to 4 days of exercise a week. It can be walking, swimming, push-ups, sit-ups, cycling or ANYTHING active. I am asking you to get out and make a commitment to exercise the best way you know how. Please consider talking to your doctor before you start any type of exercise depending on your health situation. I am by no means a doctor or expert on exercise. I am just looking for others to partner up with to help get out of the blahs. Second, help me out by encouraging me and asking me constantly how my runs are going! Guilt is always a great motivator for me! Third, let me know how you are doing. I want to know if you build yourself up to doing great things in the terms of exercise.
I am completely serious about this. If you are ready to make a commitment, let me know by leaving a comment below. Even those expecting mommas can get out there and do this. Staying active in my pregnancies helped me stay focused and healthy. For all you parents out there, REMEMBER--your children are watching you. They often model their lifestyles after yours. I want to see how many people I can get to start the Home Improvement Challenge with me! Will you take the challenge? I have already started this challenge and am about to tackle Challenge #2. I'll post it in two weeks! GET ACTIVE!
I know that most of you have been reading my blog from the very first post. Many of you know that I have been trying to become a runner. (Trying is the key word in that sentence.) I have had all kinds of breakdowns since I first posted my running goals. Actually, I should probably just go ahead and call them what they are--EXCUSES. Yes, even the wonderful Straightforward Mom makes excuses. Cold weather caused me to stay inside more than I wanted. I let it get the best of me (darn you cold weather). Then I had a few unexpected injuries (a few turned ankles, one tumble carrying one of the boys, etc.) that sidelined me for a few weeks or so. Of course, these each lead to my favorite one of all--I was too stinkin' tired. Did you hear me world? I, the most competitive person I know, was too tired to get out and do it. I think that was the one that disappointed me the most. How could I let that get the best of me?
About two weeks ago, I decided that I was going to get into a routine. I started back slowly and decided that no matter how I did it each week, I was going to make a commitment to getting back into it regularly. Personally, I have decided on a schedule of running three days a week with one day of cross training (or in my case, doing something other than running that would be exercise related--even if it is just running stairs at home). Are you wondering what the other three days of the week entail? Two days are used for rest (that means no running or extra-curricular exercising) and the last day can be used for rest on rough weeks or I can add in a tough or light run depending on how energetic/motivated I feel that week. So far, I have made the Straightforward Dad push me out the doors on the days I don't feel like it. When I get back, I am very thankful for his gentle (sometimes not so subtle kick) shove out the door to get me on track. To be quite honest, he likes me better after I run! To be honest, I do too. It helps me drop the stresses of a typical day (and sometimes too typical of a day) and come back energized and ready to take my duties on again. I have even found it gives me some alone time with God. I can get out there and focus on some positive music or even pray! (Please don't go camp out along my route to see if I am running with my eyes closed! You won't get to see me run into any trees or fall of any inclines!)
Now, you may be thinking, "What in the world is she asking me to do to get involved?" First, I am asking you to join me in this first challenge! I am not asking you to run. What I am asking is that you commit to 4 days of exercise a week. It can be walking, swimming, push-ups, sit-ups, cycling or ANYTHING active. I am asking you to get out and make a commitment to exercise the best way you know how. Please consider talking to your doctor before you start any type of exercise depending on your health situation. I am by no means a doctor or expert on exercise. I am just looking for others to partner up with to help get out of the blahs. Second, help me out by encouraging me and asking me constantly how my runs are going! Guilt is always a great motivator for me! Third, let me know how you are doing. I want to know if you build yourself up to doing great things in the terms of exercise.
I am completely serious about this. If you are ready to make a commitment, let me know by leaving a comment below. Even those expecting mommas can get out there and do this. Staying active in my pregnancies helped me stay focused and healthy. For all you parents out there, REMEMBER--your children are watching you. They often model their lifestyles after yours. I want to see how many people I can get to start the Home Improvement Challenge with me! Will you take the challenge? I have already started this challenge and am about to tackle Challenge #2. I'll post it in two weeks! GET ACTIVE!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Learning to Close a Chapter...
I have always thought of my life in book form. I am still not sure why I do that, but I always have. For example, several years ago I was in the middle of the "College" chapter of my life. It closed and the "Westminster" chapter of my life started when I began teaching. Typically, I will complicate things further and add overall chapters in like "Marriage" or "Children" and keep right on writing the story (or living my life).
One thing I have always had a problem with is closing chapters in my life. Looking back, I had trouble closing the "Single" chapter of my life and starting the "Marriage" chapter. Don't get me wrong. I wanted to get married. It was just hard to let go of who I was to start a "we" thing. I even have trouble putting away the Straightforward Boys' clothes after they grow out of a certain stage. I must look like a crazy woman as I thoughtfully (and sometimes tearfully) place one little outfit after another in the container. Sometimes I laugh as I place a memorable pair of shoes or hat into the container. I always take one last glance at the contents before I sadly clamp the lid in place. A huge sigh almost always follows the loud snap as I walk away feeling like another little chapter in my life has closed.
A few weeks ago, the Straightforward Son completed his first year in preschool. I had been very reluctant to send him to K-3, but had let him go just in time for him to grow up into a bold little four year old. He had two fantastic teachers who made him feel like a genius. He made tons of friends and enjoyed all kinds of fun events at school. He had been looking forward to the last day of school for weeks. Even at a young age, he understands the draw of a summer vacation! One would think that I would be thrilled to have him home (and I truly am), but I was sadly counting down the days till the end of his first year of school. It was another small chapter closing as he inches his way closer to a Kindergarten graduation (of which I am terrified).
As I watched him perform on the stage during his End of the Year Performance, I could not have been prouder. He was one of two chosen to recite his Bible verse and he did an awesome job following the directions his teachers had given him. He looked incredibly cute with his saggy tie and dress shirt and pants. There is one part I will never forget. After his class was finished performing, he ran as fast as he could down the aisle to me with pride all over his face. I know I had the same look on mine! I pray that he never loses the joy of a job well done. Afterward, all I could think about was how much he had grown up. Even though I was home part of the time, he still grew into a four year old in the blink of an eye. If he grew that fast, I bet the Straightforward Baby will grow up at light speed!
This might be a first, but I have no advice for learning how to do this better. I have tried all types of things, but nothing seems to work! Does anyone have any advice on learning to close a chapter of your life? I would love to know if there is a mom out there who knows how to deal with this???
He recites Psalm 23:1 for the program!
Singing during the program with his friends.
Hamming it up with one of his pals!
One thing I have always had a problem with is closing chapters in my life. Looking back, I had trouble closing the "Single" chapter of my life and starting the "Marriage" chapter. Don't get me wrong. I wanted to get married. It was just hard to let go of who I was to start a "we" thing. I even have trouble putting away the Straightforward Boys' clothes after they grow out of a certain stage. I must look like a crazy woman as I thoughtfully (and sometimes tearfully) place one little outfit after another in the container. Sometimes I laugh as I place a memorable pair of shoes or hat into the container. I always take one last glance at the contents before I sadly clamp the lid in place. A huge sigh almost always follows the loud snap as I walk away feeling like another little chapter in my life has closed.
A few weeks ago, the Straightforward Son completed his first year in preschool. I had been very reluctant to send him to K-3, but had let him go just in time for him to grow up into a bold little four year old. He had two fantastic teachers who made him feel like a genius. He made tons of friends and enjoyed all kinds of fun events at school. He had been looking forward to the last day of school for weeks. Even at a young age, he understands the draw of a summer vacation! One would think that I would be thrilled to have him home (and I truly am), but I was sadly counting down the days till the end of his first year of school. It was another small chapter closing as he inches his way closer to a Kindergarten graduation (of which I am terrified).
As I watched him perform on the stage during his End of the Year Performance, I could not have been prouder. He was one of two chosen to recite his Bible verse and he did an awesome job following the directions his teachers had given him. He looked incredibly cute with his saggy tie and dress shirt and pants. There is one part I will never forget. After his class was finished performing, he ran as fast as he could down the aisle to me with pride all over his face. I know I had the same look on mine! I pray that he never loses the joy of a job well done. Afterward, all I could think about was how much he had grown up. Even though I was home part of the time, he still grew into a four year old in the blink of an eye. If he grew that fast, I bet the Straightforward Baby will grow up at light speed!
This might be a first, but I have no advice for learning how to do this better. I have tried all types of things, but nothing seems to work! Does anyone have any advice on learning to close a chapter of your life? I would love to know if there is a mom out there who knows how to deal with this???
He recites Psalm 23:1 for the program!
Singing during the program with his friends.
Hamming it up with one of his pals!Monday, May 2, 2011
He Wants to Know: Dating Advice
Welcome to another installation of the "He Wants to Know" pieces! This is where a guy (of any age) asks a question and I do my best to answer said question. So far, I have had some pretty interesting and diverse questions to answer. This new topic is something I haven't been as involved with in the last 8 years, so what I will offer will probably seem outdated to some. My newest question is--What dating advice would you give me?
To kick things off, we will start off with some pre-dating advice.
#1: Don't just date for the fun of it. There are a lot of reasons that I offer this advice. The first, and most important, reason is from experience. I just dated for fun for the most part. I rarely took dating seriously, and imagining my future life with those that I chose to go out with was not a top priority. Once you have made the decision to go out on a date with someone, be certain that you have thought through things. By that I mean don't take the decision lightly. Dating without a purpose can also lead to situations in which you (and the person you choose to go out with) are faced with temptations that you wouldn't be otherwise. The key is think, think, think. Date with a purpose. Don't forget to ask for help ("Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6)!
#2: Be picky. Let's be clear. I am not saying make a list of unrealistic qualities/attributes that no one can ever live up to (For instance a dishwater blonde with two different colored eyes, who has a great sense of humor and loves sports--WAIT--she's taken!). What I am saying is sit down and consider what you are looking for in a life partner. This is not an easy task. Consider things such as values, personality traits, goals in life, and much more when creating your list. Notice I said "life partner" and not date. This goes back to dating with a purpose. When you are dating, you are looking for someone you eventually want to settle down with (or that should be the main purpose). Many people think that being picky doesn't lead to finding what you are looking for, but I would like to offer an example. My sister didn't just "date" for the sake of dating. She had not one serious boyfriend from the time she was in middle school until recently. She is now engaged and will be heading down the aisle with her first "real" boyfriend. I think that is such a testament to her faithfulness to dating with a purpose. I hate to admit this, but I often encouraged her to just date just to go out and get some experience. Now I realize how stupid I sounded.
Wow.....so to get back on target, here are some quick tips for dating in today's crazy world.
#1: Start out big! I can hear all the ladies saying, "YES! Take me out to the finest restaurants and to the best concerts! Bring me flowers and chocolates!" Start out with a group activity. It may not be your ideal situation to get to know someone in a personal way, but this is a great ice breaker and a way to help you both figure out if this is something you want to pursue. The group doesn't have to be huge--it can even be a double date. The key is to give you both some warm-up time so you don't have to immediately be "on your game" the first night.
#2: If you have already gotten past the group outings and hanging with the pals, my best advice to you is plan, plan, plan. Spontaneity can be fun, but it can also lead to problems and temptation. It's best to know where things are headed and how your time will be spent. I know many girlfriends and wives who talk about the loss of spontaneity in their lives, but when you are first getting to know one another, girls often feel more secure when there is a plan. As you move further along in the dating process, you can give up some of this planning and allow the other person to help choose or plan the dates.
#3: Be yourself. This is usually the most difficult advice to follow. I don't usually have any problem being myself. In fact, I would say that when I was dating the Straightforward Dad, I was probably too much myself! Let's just say he knew exactly the psychotic person he was committing to before he asked (and if he wasn't sure, my dad sure let him know)! Being yourself is so important. Don't wait until after your engaged to loosen up and let the other person see the real you. If the other person cannot deal with the real you, that means you are wasting your time. If they can't deal with you now, what makes you think they will deal with you later? Guys, this doesn't give you a "Get out of Gas, Belching, Itching, Etc. Free" card. Girls, this doesn't mean you can sit and talk for hours about things that only interest you. What it does mean--LET YOU SHINE! The worst of you will come out along the way, but learning about each other (even the quirks) is all part of the process.
#4: Honesty is the best policy. If you are interested, don't act disinterested to add to the "mystery." Don't wait the "required" amount of days to call. We are so prone to games while on the dating scene (and in marriage as well--I am guilty, I can admit that). It's not worth the effort it takes to play the games, people! It's more fun to actually enjoy the other person!
Overall, the center of any relationship--be it family, friend, romantic, or work--should be Jesus Christ. Being of one mind about Jesus Christ is so very important. There has to be a foundation that is solid. He is that foundation. It doesn't matter if you are dating or if you have been married for 35 years, there will be days where things don't go as planned or go as well as you pray they will. If He is not the foundation, you have nothing to stand on and your relationship is susceptible to the winds and storms of this life. He will not protect you FROM the storms, but he will protect you THROUGH the storms. If you get nothing else from what I mentioned above, walk away with Jesus Christ being the foundation on which you and all your relationships stand. In closing, remember Psalm 119:9--"How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word."
To kick things off, we will start off with some pre-dating advice.
#1: Don't just date for the fun of it. There are a lot of reasons that I offer this advice. The first, and most important, reason is from experience. I just dated for fun for the most part. I rarely took dating seriously, and imagining my future life with those that I chose to go out with was not a top priority. Once you have made the decision to go out on a date with someone, be certain that you have thought through things. By that I mean don't take the decision lightly. Dating without a purpose can also lead to situations in which you (and the person you choose to go out with) are faced with temptations that you wouldn't be otherwise. The key is think, think, think. Date with a purpose. Don't forget to ask for help ("Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6)!
#2: Be picky. Let's be clear. I am not saying make a list of unrealistic qualities/attributes that no one can ever live up to (For instance a dishwater blonde with two different colored eyes, who has a great sense of humor and loves sports--WAIT--she's taken!). What I am saying is sit down and consider what you are looking for in a life partner. This is not an easy task. Consider things such as values, personality traits, goals in life, and much more when creating your list. Notice I said "life partner" and not date. This goes back to dating with a purpose. When you are dating, you are looking for someone you eventually want to settle down with (or that should be the main purpose). Many people think that being picky doesn't lead to finding what you are looking for, but I would like to offer an example. My sister didn't just "date" for the sake of dating. She had not one serious boyfriend from the time she was in middle school until recently. She is now engaged and will be heading down the aisle with her first "real" boyfriend. I think that is such a testament to her faithfulness to dating with a purpose. I hate to admit this, but I often encouraged her to just date just to go out and get some experience. Now I realize how stupid I sounded.
Wow.....so to get back on target, here are some quick tips for dating in today's crazy world.
#1: Start out big! I can hear all the ladies saying, "YES! Take me out to the finest restaurants and to the best concerts! Bring me flowers and chocolates!" Start out with a group activity. It may not be your ideal situation to get to know someone in a personal way, but this is a great ice breaker and a way to help you both figure out if this is something you want to pursue. The group doesn't have to be huge--it can even be a double date. The key is to give you both some warm-up time so you don't have to immediately be "on your game" the first night.
#2: If you have already gotten past the group outings and hanging with the pals, my best advice to you is plan, plan, plan. Spontaneity can be fun, but it can also lead to problems and temptation. It's best to know where things are headed and how your time will be spent. I know many girlfriends and wives who talk about the loss of spontaneity in their lives, but when you are first getting to know one another, girls often feel more secure when there is a plan. As you move further along in the dating process, you can give up some of this planning and allow the other person to help choose or plan the dates.
#3: Be yourself. This is usually the most difficult advice to follow. I don't usually have any problem being myself. In fact, I would say that when I was dating the Straightforward Dad, I was probably too much myself! Let's just say he knew exactly the psychotic person he was committing to before he asked (and if he wasn't sure, my dad sure let him know)! Being yourself is so important. Don't wait until after your engaged to loosen up and let the other person see the real you. If the other person cannot deal with the real you, that means you are wasting your time. If they can't deal with you now, what makes you think they will deal with you later? Guys, this doesn't give you a "Get out of Gas, Belching, Itching, Etc. Free" card. Girls, this doesn't mean you can sit and talk for hours about things that only interest you. What it does mean--LET YOU SHINE! The worst of you will come out along the way, but learning about each other (even the quirks) is all part of the process.
#4: Honesty is the best policy. If you are interested, don't act disinterested to add to the "mystery." Don't wait the "required" amount of days to call. We are so prone to games while on the dating scene (and in marriage as well--I am guilty, I can admit that). It's not worth the effort it takes to play the games, people! It's more fun to actually enjoy the other person!
Overall, the center of any relationship--be it family, friend, romantic, or work--should be Jesus Christ. Being of one mind about Jesus Christ is so very important. There has to be a foundation that is solid. He is that foundation. It doesn't matter if you are dating or if you have been married for 35 years, there will be days where things don't go as planned or go as well as you pray they will. If He is not the foundation, you have nothing to stand on and your relationship is susceptible to the winds and storms of this life. He will not protect you FROM the storms, but he will protect you THROUGH the storms. If you get nothing else from what I mentioned above, walk away with Jesus Christ being the foundation on which you and all your relationships stand. In closing, remember Psalm 119:9--"How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word."
I have so many more things I could add, but I don't want to overwhelm anyone! Keep in mind one thing. I don't recommend dating to anyone who isn't ready to seriously consider who they want as a life partner. I know some parents don't condone dating. Please understand that this was a young man my age who was asking for advice. This is primarily aimed at young adults and not teenagers. I am not going to tell anyone how to raise their children when it comes to dating. Dating is a family decision that I think parents must pray about and plan for before their children ever hit that stage of life. I would love to hear what everyone else suggests! Is there anything you can offer this person? Are there any lessons you learned that you can "share with the class?" Any tips or date ideas you can offer?
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
SM, SM? Wherefore art thou, Straightforward Mom?
I have had several people ask me where in the world my blogs have been recently. Well, to be honest, I have had a very busy month! For those of you who don't know, both of my children had birthdays within weeks of each other. We have had school functions, family functions, an engagement, a holiday, and everything in between! :)
To catch you up on what the Straightforward Mom has been up to--trying to keep from getting completely covered up by life! I always thought that being a "stay-at-home mom" was a life of leisure and fun with your kids. I have been at home for 9 months now. All I can do is apologize to people for being so naive about what those mom's actually do. My days are full of cleaning, working (I do work part-time), diapering, breaking up fights, dealing with whining and crying, and so much more. There are some days that I look back on the days I was working 70-75 hours a week and think what piece of cake that was compared to the life I now lead!!
Don't get me wrong, I love my children and husband dearly. I know that I am doing the best possible thing for them. However, there are days that I feel like I am going crazy! I am by no means "Suzy Homemaker." In fact, she and I would probably end up in a cat fight if we ever met. I am actually, in a way, being domesticated. I know that sounds terrible (like I lived this wild life and now am being taught how to be a lady), but I am learning how to be in the home. I am learning how to function, be productive, and have a purpose within my home. In years past, I found all of these things in the jobs I performed. I knew my niche and I stuck with that. This new life has completely thrown me out of my comfort zone and I have had to find new ways to adapt.
I have found that I am now busier and more strapped for time than I ever was with a full time job. I wipe twice as many bottoms, noses, and dirty hands. I pick up the same toy 500,000 times a day. I make thousands more meals than ever before. Through it all, I have to say that I have been able to learn more about God through being in my home than I did on the job. I might be busier, but I hear Him more clearly. I see Him teaching me things like patience and compassion (Have you ever noticed it is easier to be patient with someone else's child rather than your own?). He is teaching me that there is more in life that I need to learn. I don't know it all. In my previous jobs, I focused on learning more about the subjects I was teaching. Here at home, I have had to learn more about subjects I would never have ventured into otherwise. I have learned to cook more than just salad and scrambled eggs (not much more, but some). I have learned more about small business ventures. I am developing a green thumb. It's like He slapped me in the back of the head and said, "See! There is more to life than just school and sports!"
So where has the Straightforward Mom been this month? She's been learning to be a better mom, wife, and person. I wish I could share all of the things that I have done and learned this month, but instead of writing a book, I will share some pictures! :)
The boys at Easter.....they had a blast.
Reilly enjoyed his 1st birthday even though Daddy and brother were VERY under the weather!
To catch you up on what the Straightforward Mom has been up to--trying to keep from getting completely covered up by life! I always thought that being a "stay-at-home mom" was a life of leisure and fun with your kids. I have been at home for 9 months now. All I can do is apologize to people for being so naive about what those mom's actually do. My days are full of cleaning, working (I do work part-time), diapering, breaking up fights, dealing with whining and crying, and so much more. There are some days that I look back on the days I was working 70-75 hours a week and think what piece of cake that was compared to the life I now lead!!
Don't get me wrong, I love my children and husband dearly. I know that I am doing the best possible thing for them. However, there are days that I feel like I am going crazy! I am by no means "Suzy Homemaker." In fact, she and I would probably end up in a cat fight if we ever met. I am actually, in a way, being domesticated. I know that sounds terrible (like I lived this wild life and now am being taught how to be a lady), but I am learning how to be in the home. I am learning how to function, be productive, and have a purpose within my home. In years past, I found all of these things in the jobs I performed. I knew my niche and I stuck with that. This new life has completely thrown me out of my comfort zone and I have had to find new ways to adapt.
I have found that I am now busier and more strapped for time than I ever was with a full time job. I wipe twice as many bottoms, noses, and dirty hands. I pick up the same toy 500,000 times a day. I make thousands more meals than ever before. Through it all, I have to say that I have been able to learn more about God through being in my home than I did on the job. I might be busier, but I hear Him more clearly. I see Him teaching me things like patience and compassion (Have you ever noticed it is easier to be patient with someone else's child rather than your own?). He is teaching me that there is more in life that I need to learn. I don't know it all. In my previous jobs, I focused on learning more about the subjects I was teaching. Here at home, I have had to learn more about subjects I would never have ventured into otherwise. I have learned to cook more than just salad and scrambled eggs (not much more, but some). I have learned more about small business ventures. I am developing a green thumb. It's like He slapped me in the back of the head and said, "See! There is more to life than just school and sports!"
So where has the Straightforward Mom been this month? She's been learning to be a better mom, wife, and person. I wish I could share all of the things that I have done and learned this month, but instead of writing a book, I will share some pictures! :)
The boys at Easter.....they had a blast.
Reilly enjoyed his 1st birthday even though Daddy and brother were VERY under the weather!
TJ had a great time at his 4th birthday. The monster truck rally was awesome!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Loving People More than my Devils...
I bet the title of this blog threw a few people for a loop! I am sure some just wanted to read to find out why I love my Devils! You may have noticed by now that I have changed my background to what some know as a March Madness tournament bracket. For some it brings shouts of joy and for others it brings cries of defeat. Some wives enjoy the excitement while others have their bags packed to move out until after April 1st. During the month of March, I live in a house divided. The Straightforward Dad is a die hard Kentucky Wildcat fan while I bleed Duke Blue Devil blue. (If you don't know why this is a bad thing, check out this video .) We knew going into our marriage that this was a union made in basketball hades, but we felt we could make it work. Thankfully, we have had divine help as well! We definitely could not have built the marriage we have on our own!
I won't go into all the interesting conversations and basketball moments that the Straightforward Dad and I have had, but we have both had our ups and downs. However, the Lord has (and I know some people think that our Savior doesn't mess with such little life details--I DO) kept the Devils and the Wildcats from playing one another since we have been married. For those doubters--that will be 8 years in May. For two huge programs like that not to have run into each other in 8 years is incredible. Yes, we count our blessings in our family.
As many of you know, last year my beloved Devils won it all. Once again, I think the Lord knew that for my pregnant self, it was necessary for at least one of my children to be born in a year where they were National Champions. I was set for a repeat as they danced their way into the the Sweet 16 this year. It was there that they had their toes stomped on by an inferior Arizona team. I went to bed at halftime with my boys in the lead by like 4. In the morning, I woke up to the Straightforward Dad telling me that, not only had they lost, they had lost by more than I would have imagined. I have to admit that after he left for work, my heart ached. As I was about to be on the verge of tears (as I always get when they lose) and that sinking feeling was creeping into my stomach, I felt like God kind of slapped me in the back of the head (A little like NCSI's Gibbs does to DiNozzo all the time). I begin to wonder. . .what if I had a heart for people like I have heart for Duke basketball? What if my heart ached for people in need or those who were truly hurting as much as it ached right now? Here I was about to shed tears over ONE basketball game when there were people all around me going through much worse. . .or even worse, when there are people on their way to a very real Hell!
From that moment forward, I have made it a daily goal to love people more. I have tried to do something each day to help someone in need by lifting them up in prayer, offering a kind word, or by offering some assistance. I used to believe that nothing good came out of a Blue Devil loss for me. I know that they learned something from each of their losses, as I am sure Coach K would rip them to shreds at the practice following the loss. What did I get out of their loss? Nothing but a yucky, sad feeling. This time, something good did come out of it! I was able to identify a part of my life that was not what it should be.
Do I still love my Blue Devils? Absolutely! Yet, I have realized that there are some things that are more important than basketball. Basketball isn't immortal--people are! We all live forever. We have to make a choice about where we will spend eternity. Once we make our choice, why would we sit around in a world that is hurting and not offer them a better eternity?
I hope that this will inspire you to get out and love on someone today. I hope that you will choose to put your love to good use!
P.S. For all those who don't know, the Straightforward Dad's team has made it to the Final Four. If they win it all this year it will be pretty neat since my team won last year. Don't ever tell him I said that though! :)
I won't go into all the interesting conversations and basketball moments that the Straightforward Dad and I have had, but we have both had our ups and downs. However, the Lord has (and I know some people think that our Savior doesn't mess with such little life details--I DO) kept the Devils and the Wildcats from playing one another since we have been married. For those doubters--that will be 8 years in May. For two huge programs like that not to have run into each other in 8 years is incredible. Yes, we count our blessings in our family.
As many of you know, last year my beloved Devils won it all. Once again, I think the Lord knew that for my pregnant self, it was necessary for at least one of my children to be born in a year where they were National Champions. I was set for a repeat as they danced their way into the the Sweet 16 this year. It was there that they had their toes stomped on by an inferior Arizona team. I went to bed at halftime with my boys in the lead by like 4. In the morning, I woke up to the Straightforward Dad telling me that, not only had they lost, they had lost by more than I would have imagined. I have to admit that after he left for work, my heart ached. As I was about to be on the verge of tears (as I always get when they lose) and that sinking feeling was creeping into my stomach, I felt like God kind of slapped me in the back of the head (A little like NCSI's Gibbs does to DiNozzo all the time). I begin to wonder. . .what if I had a heart for people like I have heart for Duke basketball? What if my heart ached for people in need or those who were truly hurting as much as it ached right now? Here I was about to shed tears over ONE basketball game when there were people all around me going through much worse. . .or even worse, when there are people on their way to a very real Hell!
From that moment forward, I have made it a daily goal to love people more. I have tried to do something each day to help someone in need by lifting them up in prayer, offering a kind word, or by offering some assistance. I used to believe that nothing good came out of a Blue Devil loss for me. I know that they learned something from each of their losses, as I am sure Coach K would rip them to shreds at the practice following the loss. What did I get out of their loss? Nothing but a yucky, sad feeling. This time, something good did come out of it! I was able to identify a part of my life that was not what it should be.
Do I still love my Blue Devils? Absolutely! Yet, I have realized that there are some things that are more important than basketball. Basketball isn't immortal--people are! We all live forever. We have to make a choice about where we will spend eternity. Once we make our choice, why would we sit around in a world that is hurting and not offer them a better eternity?
I hope that this will inspire you to get out and love on someone today. I hope that you will choose to put your love to good use!
P.S. For all those who don't know, the Straightforward Dad's team has made it to the Final Four. If they win it all this year it will be pretty neat since my team won last year. Don't ever tell him I said that though! :)
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Finding Purpose in an Unusual Place
Recently, I went through the library looking for a book to read. As I slowly drug the oldest Straightforward Son down the aisles of non-children's books with the Straightforward Baby pulling random books off the shelf, I was forced to rush and grab a book off the shelf. Running to catch the Straightforward Son before he made it to the library doors, I thought about how irritating it was that I couldn't take the time to choose a book that I knew I would enjoy.
I maintained that irritation as I got everyone packed in the car and headed into the day. Of course, I had all kinds of things go wrong and piles of laundry waiting in the laundry room (and in sporadic piles throughout the house). However, that night I sat down and opened the book I checked out of the library and got a rude awakening. The book that I had checked out was for Christian women who were looking for purpose in their lives (especially those who had just entered a new chapter in their lives). The title caught my attention because I have been doing a lot of soul searching about what God wants me to do now that teaching isn't my main focus. Interestingly enough, after what I am about to tell you, the name of the book no longer matters to me (and honestly I can't even remember it) as much as what fell out of it.
As I opened the cover, several pieces of paper fluttered to the floor. I picked them up and was amazed at the beautiful handwriting that I saw. Needless to say (and my past students can attest to this), my handwriting is atrocious. It has always been terrible. For some reason, it gets even worse when I start to write on a white board. Before I even looked at what the writing actually said, I was wondering about the person behind the handwriting. I assumed she was beautiful and talented (all people with great handwriting are of course). I even went as far as to think that she had no issues in life whatsoever--things just went her way.
It was at that moment I started to feel guilty. I was about to read someone's personal notes. I wondered if I should just throw them away and move on to the message that the book held for me. My curious nature got the best of me and I began to read the beautifully written notes. The person had listed the five greatest and worst things that had happened to them in the last five years. I always prefer to hear the bad news first so I dove into reading the bad list. I was shocked at what I found. This person had suffered everything from an abusive relationship to infertility. All my presumptions about who this person was and their life flew out the window. The confident handwriting that I had so admired did not match up with the insecure person I found in the notes. I was heartbroken for this person. I can't imagine dealing with the 5 worst things on her list. I then flipped over to her 5 best things. On the list I found some really good things such as the adoption of children and meeting a loving spouse, but I was still amazed at the sadness that permeated even her best moments. It was very obvious that she suffered from some serious emotional scars.
It was at this moment that I realized that there were other papers in the stack. The thought again crossed my mind that this was someone's personal property and I shouldn't be reading it, but I felt like it was meant for me to find. The next paper I looked at asked the following question--"How can I use my past hurts to help people in the future?" As I read through her answers, I was very moved. She talked about helping others who have suffered various types of abuse. She decided that she could mentor other women who were facing infertility or were struggling through miscarriages. I was amazed at all the positives that she found in all the bad she had experienced.
As I slowly put the notes back in the book, I thought back to all my frustrations of the day. They now seemed so insignificant. The positives seemed so much more like blessings. Yeah, it was frustrating to drag two frazzled kids through the library, but at least I had two special gifts from God. I did have laundry up to my eyeballs, but that meant that I had several people in my life who loved me and apparently I loved enough to be washing their underwear. I even thought back over the last few years. There have been some terribly difficult moments in recent years. I have dealt with a few issues that I never thought I would have to deal with in my lifetime. Yet, it all seemed to fade in comparison to what this mystery woman had suffered. If she could find positive outcomes from very bad situations, I could certainly do the same.
I have to say, I learned more about purpose in life from those few notes than I have from the first few chapters of the book I checked out. In fact, the book paled in comparison to what I got from those notes I found. For the first time in some time, I felt like God had specifically directed my steps. I wasn't so upset that my kids had forced me to randomly grab a title off the shelf. What if I had had more time? Would I have chosen that book? After reading the first few chapters I would definitely say a quick glance through would have caused me to put it back. God knew exactly what He was doing. He wanted me to find purpose in the bad things that have happened to me. All that I have learned in struggling through the hard times should push me to help others. More than ever, I have a desire to help other people. Mentally, I am making those same lists my mystery friend wrote. What have I learned? I am still in the process of finding exactly where God wants me to serve. I truly feel that answering these same questions (and seeking His will through prayer) will aid me in finding where I fit in in this new life I have been given.
I strongly encourage you to do the same. What would your answers be? Are reaching out to those who have suffered as you have with the love of Christ and the knowledge you have gained through your experiences? We all have different experiences and hurts. Imagine what our world would be like if we all took what we learned and reached out to our hurting world!
I maintained that irritation as I got everyone packed in the car and headed into the day. Of course, I had all kinds of things go wrong and piles of laundry waiting in the laundry room (and in sporadic piles throughout the house). However, that night I sat down and opened the book I checked out of the library and got a rude awakening. The book that I had checked out was for Christian women who were looking for purpose in their lives (especially those who had just entered a new chapter in their lives). The title caught my attention because I have been doing a lot of soul searching about what God wants me to do now that teaching isn't my main focus. Interestingly enough, after what I am about to tell you, the name of the book no longer matters to me (and honestly I can't even remember it) as much as what fell out of it.
As I opened the cover, several pieces of paper fluttered to the floor. I picked them up and was amazed at the beautiful handwriting that I saw. Needless to say (and my past students can attest to this), my handwriting is atrocious. It has always been terrible. For some reason, it gets even worse when I start to write on a white board. Before I even looked at what the writing actually said, I was wondering about the person behind the handwriting. I assumed she was beautiful and talented (all people with great handwriting are of course). I even went as far as to think that she had no issues in life whatsoever--things just went her way.
It was at that moment I started to feel guilty. I was about to read someone's personal notes. I wondered if I should just throw them away and move on to the message that the book held for me. My curious nature got the best of me and I began to read the beautifully written notes. The person had listed the five greatest and worst things that had happened to them in the last five years. I always prefer to hear the bad news first so I dove into reading the bad list. I was shocked at what I found. This person had suffered everything from an abusive relationship to infertility. All my presumptions about who this person was and their life flew out the window. The confident handwriting that I had so admired did not match up with the insecure person I found in the notes. I was heartbroken for this person. I can't imagine dealing with the 5 worst things on her list. I then flipped over to her 5 best things. On the list I found some really good things such as the adoption of children and meeting a loving spouse, but I was still amazed at the sadness that permeated even her best moments. It was very obvious that she suffered from some serious emotional scars.
It was at this moment that I realized that there were other papers in the stack. The thought again crossed my mind that this was someone's personal property and I shouldn't be reading it, but I felt like it was meant for me to find. The next paper I looked at asked the following question--"How can I use my past hurts to help people in the future?" As I read through her answers, I was very moved. She talked about helping others who have suffered various types of abuse. She decided that she could mentor other women who were facing infertility or were struggling through miscarriages. I was amazed at all the positives that she found in all the bad she had experienced.
As I slowly put the notes back in the book, I thought back to all my frustrations of the day. They now seemed so insignificant. The positives seemed so much more like blessings. Yeah, it was frustrating to drag two frazzled kids through the library, but at least I had two special gifts from God. I did have laundry up to my eyeballs, but that meant that I had several people in my life who loved me and apparently I loved enough to be washing their underwear. I even thought back over the last few years. There have been some terribly difficult moments in recent years. I have dealt with a few issues that I never thought I would have to deal with in my lifetime. Yet, it all seemed to fade in comparison to what this mystery woman had suffered. If she could find positive outcomes from very bad situations, I could certainly do the same.
I have to say, I learned more about purpose in life from those few notes than I have from the first few chapters of the book I checked out. In fact, the book paled in comparison to what I got from those notes I found. For the first time in some time, I felt like God had specifically directed my steps. I wasn't so upset that my kids had forced me to randomly grab a title off the shelf. What if I had had more time? Would I have chosen that book? After reading the first few chapters I would definitely say a quick glance through would have caused me to put it back. God knew exactly what He was doing. He wanted me to find purpose in the bad things that have happened to me. All that I have learned in struggling through the hard times should push me to help others. More than ever, I have a desire to help other people. Mentally, I am making those same lists my mystery friend wrote. What have I learned? I am still in the process of finding exactly where God wants me to serve. I truly feel that answering these same questions (and seeking His will through prayer) will aid me in finding where I fit in in this new life I have been given.
I strongly encourage you to do the same. What would your answers be? Are reaching out to those who have suffered as you have with the love of Christ and the knowledge you have gained through your experiences? We all have different experiences and hurts. Imagine what our world would be like if we all took what we learned and reached out to our hurting world!
Monday, March 7, 2011
He Wants to Know: Why are women so cranky?
Welcome to the next installment of "He Wants to Know" on the Straightforward Mom Blog! If you remember from the last installment, this is the time when I ask a guy what he would like to know about women or what they would want me to write about.
After reading the title, I can see some women already getting offended. Believe me, when I heard his question I was taken aback at first (I know what you are thinking--NO, the Straightforward Dad did NOT ask this question!). Fighting my urge to punch the asker of the question in the gut, I thought to myself, "What would motivate him to ask this question?" What made the situation even more complex (and frustrating) is that this is a guy who knows me well. Was he hinting that I was "so cranky?" After all these thoughts, I have decided to honestly try and answer this question the best I can.
I think there are a number of reasons why women are so cranky. One must look at the fact that there are physical issues that many of us deal with on a monthly (our friend Charlie comes to visit at the most inopportune moments), if not daily, basis. I have never been quite sure how to explain our physical issues to men, but I think that if they experienced some of the physical turmoil that we deal with, the issue of crankiness would be the last thing on their minds! I have to admit that I am at my crankiest right before Charlie decides to call on me. There are months where I don't even feel like the same person (and I think the Straightforward Dad would attest to this fact and say that he doesn't even know the being that often emerges during this time). It's hard not to be cranky when you feel like your innards are in turmoil. This also doesn't take into account other female physical issues that can come into play (i.e. pregnancy, menopause, pain from breastfeeding 500 times a day). I know that men have their own physical issues, but I think cutting us some slack in this department and understanding why crankiness would occur would be helpful.
There are emotional issues that men can't understand as well. I have found very few men who deal with fluctuating emotions like women. It seems we can be thrown from the throes of joy to the depths of depression very much like someone who is bipolar. Honestly, my emotions exhaust me some days. I know that is probably a terrible thing to admit, but it is the truth. If I could change this aspect of my womanly emotions, I might do some tweaking. I do like the fact that I am more emotionally connected to people, places, items (yes, I do still have every basketball tournament t-shirt because there is some memory attached to it), and other things than men seem to be (I think God made me that way). Yet, it would be nice to be able to disconnect when things make me "cranky."
Now, please don't misunderstand me guys! Just because we have things that cause us to be cranky, doesn't mean that we should allow it to make us cranky. (I just saw every woman reading this glare at me virtually!) I believe that women have to be extra careful not to let their physical situation or their emotional state get the best of them. It takes effort to keep out the "crankies." I am not the best person to blog about this because I am one of the best at allowing things to get a grip on me and cause me to be cranky. (Let's just say, if they gave a gold medal in crankiness, I would have a trophy case full.) Thankfully, this question (from a poor guy whom I will not name so he won't get hate mail) caused me to step back and say, "Why am I cranky? Why are other women considered cranky?" It also made me realize that I need to make a better effort to even keep from the appearance of crankiness. Obviously, I don't do my best and to be honest, some days I don't even try.
BUT, guys, you don't get out of the blog that easy either. You could offer a solution to the problem as well. If you want a less cranky wife--communicate. I know your favorite part of every day is to rush home and talk to your wife about her hopes and dreams, her heartaches and frustrations. Nonetheless, you need to take time (and the effort) to understand why that wonderful woman in your life is cranky. Does she need some help? Does she need someone to talk to? Does she need some "girl time?" The guy who asked this question wasn't necessarily talking about just his wife. He was talking about women in general. Guys, have you ever thought about asking your mom if you could lend a hand? Have you ever asked a female teacher if you could pray for her when she is having a bad day? What about your sister? Have you been there to listen to her when she is going through those "cranky moments?" (I know that talking to a woman during her "crankies" is not the easiest thing. I do believe that if you make the effort, you might be surprised at what you will discover.) Don't worry guys, women should be doing this for you as well. As if you guys didn't have enough stressors in life, you are expected to be our knights in shining armor. The truth is, communication between men and women is the key to good relationships (First and foremost is having God the center of any relationship--including friendships). . . and so is give and take.
I know that this will cause an interesting stir among readers, but I would love to hear your comments. And ladies, apparently we are cranky a lot. . . lets work on that!
After reading the title, I can see some women already getting offended. Believe me, when I heard his question I was taken aback at first (I know what you are thinking--NO, the Straightforward Dad did NOT ask this question!). Fighting my urge to punch the asker of the question in the gut, I thought to myself, "What would motivate him to ask this question?" What made the situation even more complex (and frustrating) is that this is a guy who knows me well. Was he hinting that I was "so cranky?" After all these thoughts, I have decided to honestly try and answer this question the best I can.
I think there are a number of reasons why women are so cranky. One must look at the fact that there are physical issues that many of us deal with on a monthly (our friend Charlie comes to visit at the most inopportune moments), if not daily, basis. I have never been quite sure how to explain our physical issues to men, but I think that if they experienced some of the physical turmoil that we deal with, the issue of crankiness would be the last thing on their minds! I have to admit that I am at my crankiest right before Charlie decides to call on me. There are months where I don't even feel like the same person (and I think the Straightforward Dad would attest to this fact and say that he doesn't even know the being that often emerges during this time). It's hard not to be cranky when you feel like your innards are in turmoil. This also doesn't take into account other female physical issues that can come into play (i.e. pregnancy, menopause, pain from breastfeeding 500 times a day). I know that men have their own physical issues, but I think cutting us some slack in this department and understanding why crankiness would occur would be helpful.
There are emotional issues that men can't understand as well. I have found very few men who deal with fluctuating emotions like women. It seems we can be thrown from the throes of joy to the depths of depression very much like someone who is bipolar. Honestly, my emotions exhaust me some days. I know that is probably a terrible thing to admit, but it is the truth. If I could change this aspect of my womanly emotions, I might do some tweaking. I do like the fact that I am more emotionally connected to people, places, items (yes, I do still have every basketball tournament t-shirt because there is some memory attached to it), and other things than men seem to be (I think God made me that way). Yet, it would be nice to be able to disconnect when things make me "cranky."
Now, please don't misunderstand me guys! Just because we have things that cause us to be cranky, doesn't mean that we should allow it to make us cranky. (I just saw every woman reading this glare at me virtually!) I believe that women have to be extra careful not to let their physical situation or their emotional state get the best of them. It takes effort to keep out the "crankies." I am not the best person to blog about this because I am one of the best at allowing things to get a grip on me and cause me to be cranky. (Let's just say, if they gave a gold medal in crankiness, I would have a trophy case full.) Thankfully, this question (from a poor guy whom I will not name so he won't get hate mail) caused me to step back and say, "Why am I cranky? Why are other women considered cranky?" It also made me realize that I need to make a better effort to even keep from the appearance of crankiness. Obviously, I don't do my best and to be honest, some days I don't even try.
BUT, guys, you don't get out of the blog that easy either. You could offer a solution to the problem as well. If you want a less cranky wife--communicate. I know your favorite part of every day is to rush home and talk to your wife about her hopes and dreams, her heartaches and frustrations. Nonetheless, you need to take time (and the effort) to understand why that wonderful woman in your life is cranky. Does she need some help? Does she need someone to talk to? Does she need some "girl time?" The guy who asked this question wasn't necessarily talking about just his wife. He was talking about women in general. Guys, have you ever thought about asking your mom if you could lend a hand? Have you ever asked a female teacher if you could pray for her when she is having a bad day? What about your sister? Have you been there to listen to her when she is going through those "cranky moments?" (I know that talking to a woman during her "crankies" is not the easiest thing. I do believe that if you make the effort, you might be surprised at what you will discover.) Don't worry guys, women should be doing this for you as well. As if you guys didn't have enough stressors in life, you are expected to be our knights in shining armor. The truth is, communication between men and women is the key to good relationships (First and foremost is having God the center of any relationship--including friendships). . . and so is give and take.
I know that this will cause an interesting stir among readers, but I would love to hear your comments. And ladies, apparently we are cranky a lot. . . lets work on that!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Triumphing Through Faith in Times of Trials
I am sorry for the lack of blogging this month. It's been interesting to see how many people actually miss reading my rants and contact me to say that they want more! It makes me smile....and thank you.
I don't know where you are in your life right now, but the Straightforward Family (and I have noticed many of our friends as well) has experienced some particularly large trials and tribulations recently. I have caught myself with the question, "Why me?" on my lips several times. My other favorite question recently is, "Why can't I catch a break?". It seems like we have been hit from all sides for the last year.
Interestingly enough (as I have mentioned before), our church is doing a study on the book of Genesis. I know I have posted before about Lot and what I took from that study, but this recent study meant a lot to me and has helped me confront some of my more recent trials with a different perspective. I don't know if you have ever read the account found in Genesis 22, but it is probably one of the most inspiring and interesting accounts I have read in the Old Testament.
Here's a brief summary. After years of waiting on God (and a son through the wrong woman), Abraham and Sarah finally have their promised son. I know some people feel like they have waited forever for a child, but Abraham and Sarah didn't have a son until they were VERY OLD. They were not the picture of patience (or normal parents) by any means, but they finally receive God's promise of a child. About the time that Isaac is 25, God speaks to Abraham and says, "Ok. you have your son. I want you to take your only child and offer him as a burnt sacrifice." (He probably didn't say it just like that, but you get the idea.) Abraham gets up the next morning, travels to the place he is told, and has his son carry the sticks up to the location. He then binds his son to the altar and prepares to sacrifice his only child. As he is about to slit Isaac's throat, he hears a voice call out to stop and he sees a ram nearby to put in Isaac's place. They sacrifice the ram and head back home.
Now, I know what you are thinking. "What in the world does this have to do with the daily struggles and trials that I deal with in my life? God is not asking me to sacrifice my kids!" That's very true and I am very thankful that He hasn't asked me to do that! However, if you look closely at this story, you see two people who have been through a mess of trials and tribulations (some they have triumphed through in honorable fashion and some they have waded through in shame) and this is one is like the icing on the cake. (Hmmmm....have you ever felt that way? You look at trials in your life and think, "Wow! I did awesome there, but I stunk up the farm on that one?" Every once in awhile, I also face a trial so big that my mind runs with the thought, "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!")
I don't know about you, but when I learned about Abraham as a kid, I never really thought about his failures or frustrations. I only remembered the bright spots in his life. I focused on the triumphant moments. As I have gotten older, I have been able to identify with his goof-ups and hang-ups. Previous to where Abraham is in Genesis 22, we have seen him go through some rough things. He has given his wife away (twice), not heeded God's directions (several times), had to watch his beloved nephew head off to one of the most immoral cities to ever exist, and much more. Yet, after years of waiting he gets his son!!! I can't imagine what elation and excitement he and Sarah felt at that moment. Things are going great for awhile and then BOOM! God says go kill your son for me. I can just picture the look on Abraham's face. I can imagine his mind ran with the same thought that mine would--"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" After all he had been through, he finally had his son and I imagine he thought God was going to cut him a break for the remainder of his life. He is now faced with this new challenge.
In the past, I never understood why God would ask Abraham to kill his son. It made no sense to me. Yet, as we studied this story more, I realized that He was trying to express what He would one day be doing for people everywhere. Abraham was given the smallest taste of what God would be offering for us many years later.
How did Abraham face this new challenge? He got up the next morning and did exactly what was asked of him. What would the Straightforward Mom have done in this situation? I probably would have prayed, cried, "twisted" my ankle so I couldn't travel--yeah, I would have hesitated. Abraham packed up his stuff and went. According to Genesis 22:5, Abraham told the guys who traveled with him, "Abide ye here with the donkey; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you." He had so much faith in God in this trial that he believed that no matter what, he would return with a living Isaac. Whether he had to go through with the sacrifice or not, he believed that God would provide. After that statement, he loads Isaac up with the altar stuff and heads toward the place God had specified. Again, his faith during the trial is tested by Isaac's question, "Behold the fire and the wood; but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?" I don't know about you, but if I had even made it to this point, I would have burst into tears and ran from that place. But Abraham didn't waiver and told Isaac, "My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering." Abraham gets as far as binding his son and raising the knife to kill him. The Angel of the Lord then calls out and causes him to stop. God provides the ram and the two sacrifice that instead.
After studying this story, I am so ashamed at the lack of faith I have in the smallest trials. There are days I don't even trust Him to provide something as small as my financial needs. The trials and tribulations that Abraham faced before this point, prepared him for this moment. He had seen God move in mighty ways and protect him even when he made the dumbest of mistakes (like offering his wife to other men and believing her when she said it was ok for him to have a baby with another woman). God wasn't trying to destroy Abraham during these events. God was preparing Abraham through each event.
Does that offer you a new perspective on what you are going through? I know I have started looking at my problems differently. It's easier for me to not ask why as much--He's preparing me. Now, I might not always completely understand why I have to face a certain situation. It also doesn't mean that I enjoy it. Nevertheless, I can face each new challenge with confidence and faith that God will provide. I can look back (just as Abraham did) at all the events of the past year and see places where I came through like a champ, and others where I came through like a chump. Through it all, I can see God's hand moving and shaping me to be something wonderful for Him.
I think another powerful testimony of faith in time of testing is Isaac's response to his father during this situation. Isaac did question his dad about what was going to happen (just like any young man would have done). The confident answer given by his father was enough to keep Isaac going. Keep in mind, Isaac was not a little kid innocently trusting his father. He was a young man who had the option to run away or punch his dad for attempting to bind him and place him on the altar. He could have verbally abused his dad, calling him "stupid" or a "crazy zealot." Isaac did none of these things. I think the trust he placed in his father is a testimony to the way he was raised by Abraham and Sarah. I hope that one day, people will be able to look at the actions and reactions of my children and see evidence of the way I have tried to raise them.
(As a side note, this is also a reminder to all those parents out there, our children are not ours. They belong to God and we have to respect that gift. No matter where He leads them (the mission field or other ministries), we have to listen to His call on their lives as much as they should. This was another hard pill for the old Straightforward Mom to swallow. On a second side note, isn't it interesting that Sarah is not mentioned in this chapter? This is a Straightforward Momism, but I think that God knew what this trial would do to Sarah and that it would be more than she could bear. I may be completely off on that assessment--and I would love to know your thoughts--but I find it so interesting that Sarah is not involved. I know what it would have done to me to hear that request.)
When trials come your way, where do you place your faith? Or do you even worry about that? Do you find yourself focusing so much on the problem that you forget why we go through them in the first place? I was in your shoes. I can admit that I was not putting my faith in my Heavenly Father. I was placing my trust in myself. (You think I would learn after 30 years of living this life!) I also placed my trust in the Straightforward Dad and others. I was so shocked when they failed me.....hmmmmm. If I couldn't do it my strength, how in the world could I expect them to do it in theirs?
I hope that you will pick up your copy of the Bible and read the account in Genesis 22. Not only does it give a testament to what faith can do for you in times of pain and heartache, but it is also a representation of what our Heavenly Father gave up for us so that we could live in heaven with Him. How great is the Father's love for us?
I don't know where you are in your life right now, but the Straightforward Family (and I have noticed many of our friends as well) has experienced some particularly large trials and tribulations recently. I have caught myself with the question, "Why me?" on my lips several times. My other favorite question recently is, "Why can't I catch a break?". It seems like we have been hit from all sides for the last year.
Interestingly enough (as I have mentioned before), our church is doing a study on the book of Genesis. I know I have posted before about Lot and what I took from that study, but this recent study meant a lot to me and has helped me confront some of my more recent trials with a different perspective. I don't know if you have ever read the account found in Genesis 22, but it is probably one of the most inspiring and interesting accounts I have read in the Old Testament.
Here's a brief summary. After years of waiting on God (and a son through the wrong woman), Abraham and Sarah finally have their promised son. I know some people feel like they have waited forever for a child, but Abraham and Sarah didn't have a son until they were VERY OLD. They were not the picture of patience (or normal parents) by any means, but they finally receive God's promise of a child. About the time that Isaac is 25, God speaks to Abraham and says, "Ok. you have your son. I want you to take your only child and offer him as a burnt sacrifice." (He probably didn't say it just like that, but you get the idea.) Abraham gets up the next morning, travels to the place he is told, and has his son carry the sticks up to the location. He then binds his son to the altar and prepares to sacrifice his only child. As he is about to slit Isaac's throat, he hears a voice call out to stop and he sees a ram nearby to put in Isaac's place. They sacrifice the ram and head back home.
Now, I know what you are thinking. "What in the world does this have to do with the daily struggles and trials that I deal with in my life? God is not asking me to sacrifice my kids!" That's very true and I am very thankful that He hasn't asked me to do that! However, if you look closely at this story, you see two people who have been through a mess of trials and tribulations (some they have triumphed through in honorable fashion and some they have waded through in shame) and this is one is like the icing on the cake. (Hmmmm....have you ever felt that way? You look at trials in your life and think, "Wow! I did awesome there, but I stunk up the farm on that one?" Every once in awhile, I also face a trial so big that my mind runs with the thought, "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!")
I don't know about you, but when I learned about Abraham as a kid, I never really thought about his failures or frustrations. I only remembered the bright spots in his life. I focused on the triumphant moments. As I have gotten older, I have been able to identify with his goof-ups and hang-ups. Previous to where Abraham is in Genesis 22, we have seen him go through some rough things. He has given his wife away (twice), not heeded God's directions (several times), had to watch his beloved nephew head off to one of the most immoral cities to ever exist, and much more. Yet, after years of waiting he gets his son!!! I can't imagine what elation and excitement he and Sarah felt at that moment. Things are going great for awhile and then BOOM! God says go kill your son for me. I can just picture the look on Abraham's face. I can imagine his mind ran with the same thought that mine would--"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" After all he had been through, he finally had his son and I imagine he thought God was going to cut him a break for the remainder of his life. He is now faced with this new challenge.
In the past, I never understood why God would ask Abraham to kill his son. It made no sense to me. Yet, as we studied this story more, I realized that He was trying to express what He would one day be doing for people everywhere. Abraham was given the smallest taste of what God would be offering for us many years later.
How did Abraham face this new challenge? He got up the next morning and did exactly what was asked of him. What would the Straightforward Mom have done in this situation? I probably would have prayed, cried, "twisted" my ankle so I couldn't travel--yeah, I would have hesitated. Abraham packed up his stuff and went. According to Genesis 22:5, Abraham told the guys who traveled with him, "Abide ye here with the donkey; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you." He had so much faith in God in this trial that he believed that no matter what, he would return with a living Isaac. Whether he had to go through with the sacrifice or not, he believed that God would provide. After that statement, he loads Isaac up with the altar stuff and heads toward the place God had specified. Again, his faith during the trial is tested by Isaac's question, "Behold the fire and the wood; but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?" I don't know about you, but if I had even made it to this point, I would have burst into tears and ran from that place. But Abraham didn't waiver and told Isaac, "My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering." Abraham gets as far as binding his son and raising the knife to kill him. The Angel of the Lord then calls out and causes him to stop. God provides the ram and the two sacrifice that instead.
After studying this story, I am so ashamed at the lack of faith I have in the smallest trials. There are days I don't even trust Him to provide something as small as my financial needs. The trials and tribulations that Abraham faced before this point, prepared him for this moment. He had seen God move in mighty ways and protect him even when he made the dumbest of mistakes (like offering his wife to other men and believing her when she said it was ok for him to have a baby with another woman). God wasn't trying to destroy Abraham during these events. God was preparing Abraham through each event.
Does that offer you a new perspective on what you are going through? I know I have started looking at my problems differently. It's easier for me to not ask why as much--He's preparing me. Now, I might not always completely understand why I have to face a certain situation. It also doesn't mean that I enjoy it. Nevertheless, I can face each new challenge with confidence and faith that God will provide. I can look back (just as Abraham did) at all the events of the past year and see places where I came through like a champ, and others where I came through like a chump. Through it all, I can see God's hand moving and shaping me to be something wonderful for Him.
I think another powerful testimony of faith in time of testing is Isaac's response to his father during this situation. Isaac did question his dad about what was going to happen (just like any young man would have done). The confident answer given by his father was enough to keep Isaac going. Keep in mind, Isaac was not a little kid innocently trusting his father. He was a young man who had the option to run away or punch his dad for attempting to bind him and place him on the altar. He could have verbally abused his dad, calling him "stupid" or a "crazy zealot." Isaac did none of these things. I think the trust he placed in his father is a testimony to the way he was raised by Abraham and Sarah. I hope that one day, people will be able to look at the actions and reactions of my children and see evidence of the way I have tried to raise them.
(As a side note, this is also a reminder to all those parents out there, our children are not ours. They belong to God and we have to respect that gift. No matter where He leads them (the mission field or other ministries), we have to listen to His call on their lives as much as they should. This was another hard pill for the old Straightforward Mom to swallow. On a second side note, isn't it interesting that Sarah is not mentioned in this chapter? This is a Straightforward Momism, but I think that God knew what this trial would do to Sarah and that it would be more than she could bear. I may be completely off on that assessment--and I would love to know your thoughts--but I find it so interesting that Sarah is not involved. I know what it would have done to me to hear that request.)
When trials come your way, where do you place your faith? Or do you even worry about that? Do you find yourself focusing so much on the problem that you forget why we go through them in the first place? I was in your shoes. I can admit that I was not putting my faith in my Heavenly Father. I was placing my trust in myself. (You think I would learn after 30 years of living this life!) I also placed my trust in the Straightforward Dad and others. I was so shocked when they failed me.....hmmmmm. If I couldn't do it my strength, how in the world could I expect them to do it in theirs?
I hope that you will pick up your copy of the Bible and read the account in Genesis 22. Not only does it give a testament to what faith can do for you in times of pain and heartache, but it is also a representation of what our Heavenly Father gave up for us so that we could live in heaven with Him. How great is the Father's love for us?
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Review: Courageous Parenting--Jack and Deb Graham
I bet everyone expected me to come on and do a big article on Valentine's Day. Well, guess what? You were wrong! Instead, I took the last little while to prepare and spend this special time with my own amazing Valentine. In its place I decided to offer you something even more helpful--a book you should read.
Recently, I was browsing through the library and picked up a book that I saw about parenting that had Graham on it. Of course I thought, "WOW! A book by Billy Graham on parenting!" Okay, so it wasn't by Billy Graham, but it was by a couple of Grahams who have helped me grow as a parent. The book was called Courageous Parenting by Jack and Deb Graham. Now, if you are a young person without children, or a teenager reading this, don't say this blog is not for you. You might just find some interesting tidbits that might make you appreciate parents who put their foot down or tell you no. I know I appreciated my parents taking a stand for me as I got older, but this book really put into perspective the battle they fought to help me be the person I am today.
I don't know about you, but sometimes living in the world we live in gets me a little down as a parent (I can't imagine what young adults must be going through!). I feel like I am constantly fighting for the minds and hearts of, not only my children, but children everywhere. If you read my earlier blog about the MTV show Skins, you know exactly what I am talking about. Sadly, shows like that are not isolated incidents. Our children are being bombarded from a very young age with all kinds of things that I never thought about or worried about until I was much older.
This book encouraged me to keep fighting the good fight for my kids. It's written in a way where Jack and Deb would each comment within the text to either offer extra insight or encouragement about a certain topic. I appreciated seeing it from a fellow mother's perspective and that of a father. I often take for granted a father's viewpoint because I am not one (I can't imagine being one considering all they have going against them these days--have you noticed how much TV presents dads as idiots these days?) and it was nice to hear someone back up what the Straightforward Dad has been telling me. (Not that I don't believe what he says, but sometimes it takes another person saying it for it to really hit home with me. I will go ahead and apologize to him now since I know he is going to nail me with this one when he reads this!) A book where two parents partner in offering information, feelings, and thoughts about parenting was a new approach from other parenting books I have read recently.
There were a couple of chapters that I really appreciated that I would like to share with you without ruining the whole book for you. . .
- "It Takes 3 To Make Parenting Work"--I had never really thought that statement through until I read that chapter title. In my short parenting experience, I have struggled with figuring out how the Straightforward Dad and I were going to get things right or make certain decisions. This chapter made me stand back and look at it from a different perspective. We are not alone in this journey. If we try to make it on our own, our children have no hope. We have to allow God to have His place in the mix or this whole fight is lost before we even start! (Sounds a lot like our own battles within our own lives too!) Our children are His to begin with.
- "Taking A Stand In Your Home"--"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord," was Joshua's claim in Joshua 24:15. God has allowed us to be parents for a reason. We must make the decision that our homes will be places where the Lord will be served. They mention taking a stand in various forms including by expressing children love verbally and by giving them hugs--making sure they feel loved in every way possible. They also talk about encouraging and equipping them for the life that lies ahead.
- Other chapters such as "Will The Real Parents Please Stand Up" and "Raising Eagles" made huge impressions on my heart, but I want to leave you some room to find out for yourself what this book has to offer. If I tell you all about it (as I am dying to do) you won't go out and get it!
I think the last part was probably the hardest for me to read. It was called "From 'It's a Boy' to 'I'm Engaged'." Holy cow! I had to read this section in spurts as I cried like a baby through some parts. It really was an eye opening experience to think about how quickly my beautiful Straightforward sons will grow into men. After I finished the book, so many thoughts ran through my head that the Grahams had mentioned. Do my boys see me praying and seeking God's face? Do they hear me encourage the Straightforward Dad and others? Will I be able to stand strong even when they are angry because I won't let them do what other kids can do? Am I raising "turkeys" or "eagles?" (Seriously, they use that analogy--and I LOVED it! You have to read the book to truly understand it.) I also was burdened with the fact that my children truly are not mine. They are a gift from God of which I am blessed to be the caretaker. I am responsible for how they are raised, what they are exposed to, who they are associated with....and suddenly I am overwhelmed. That's when I went back to the chapter about it taking three to parent!
Another point that really hit home with me was a comment they made that I couldn't shelter them from the storm, but I can shelter them in the storm during the time they are in my care. I hear so much these days about people "sheltering" their children. I will tell you right now--there is NO home, NO school, NO church, NO way to completely shelter your children from the storms of life. However, we can shelter them during the storms so that as they grow and mature into the person God wants them to be, they are able to stand strong and not be knocked about with the winds of change.
If you are a young person reading this blog, encourage your parents. If you have parents who lay out boundaries and discipline you, you are in the minority and are very blessed. In a world of latch key kids and parents who try to be their child's best friend, you are unique. You are being shown love and they are wanting you to be the best you can.
I hope this blog encourages you to go out and look at the book. You can also get a glimpse of it at by clicking Courageous Parenting. I think you will be glad that you did!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
He Wants to Know: Feeding a Competitive Spirit
First off, I would like to thank everyone who stopped by the blog to check out, "A Cry for Help." Because of people like you taking a stand, the show has taken a hit in numbers and sponsors. Please keep yourself informed on the situation. I did take some flack for being against the show, but I was very encouraged by those of you who supported my stand and stood with me.
This blog is a new little item you can look forward to called "He Wants to Know." This is where I will ask a male for a topic they would like to hear a female opinion on, or offer to answer a question about why women act so strangely--yeah right. Anyway, the first topic I was given was a tough one for me. My first victim wanted to know this:
"Since you are a former (who is he calling former?) competitive athlete, what do you do to feed that desire now that you do not play competitive sports? Leave it up to a guy to come up with a question for a woman that somehow still leads into a conversation about sports!
Ok Mr. Anonymous....here we go....
Me in college---Go Lady Lions!
Since leaving the world of competitive sports after college, the one way that I used to feed that competitive desire was to coach. This helped this desire immensely--except when we lost and I could not put on a jersey myself. My husband will be the first to tell you that any time we lost, I beat myself up. There was always something more I could have said or a different play I could have called. I also have always wanted to be the best teacher out there. I was always trying to find different activities to do or ideas to make learning in my class different than learning in other teachers' classrooms.
My first real coaching job
Most of you now know that since I have become a mom, my life has changed drastically. I gave up coaching to spend time with the boys. I made the commitment to stay out of the coaching arena until my boys were prepared for me to be able to spend that time in that profession. Now, I am self-employed and not teaching full-time either. At this point, I have very little avenues to which I can steer my competitive nature. I have to be honest since this is the Straighforward Mom Blog. A lot of my competitive aggression has been directed towards my husband. I wasn't beating him up or anything, but I was always complaining that he went soft on me when we played pick-up games or (when he was still coaching) that I would have made a different decision in a game situation. I know he was ready to tell me to zip my lip at moments, but he never did. I also would nose my way into other situations where I could give my opinions and thoughts to others with that same drive.
So, to answer the first ever "He Wants to Know" question, I have very few places to let my competitive nature run free. I have started running. This does help because it pits me against myself right now instead of taking out that aggression on another person. I literally will push myself to the point of blisters some days just so I can do better than the time before. Recently, due to cold weather, sick kids, and other time constraints my running time has been limited--and boy can everyone tell a difference. When I don't get to run, my mood and waistline suffer.
Another place I try to channel my competitive spirit is through my photography. I am always looking at other people's photographs and trying to be better. It's a lot like what I was doing with teaching, except this is a field that I don't know as much about. Therefore, I get frustrated and angry at myself sometimes because of my lack of knowledge. Yet, that is what pushes me to want to do better and learn more. This is one area my competitive nature actually does me good!
As for any other ventures that I can branch out into Mr. Anonymous, I would love for you to give me some suggestions. I could use some for sure. Especially if it offers an opportunity for some physical contact and elbow throwing....I sure miss basketball!
Monday, January 24, 2011
A Cry for Help!
Typically, I get angry at myself for wasting so much time on the Internet (Yeah, this coming from a blogging mama!) Today was a different day. I am hoping that you are spending some time on the Internet today and will take the time to read this blog for the sake of children and families everywhere.
I can already see your face and can read your thoughts. "Oh boy. What's she worked up about now?" Let me tell you, everyone needs to get worked up about this issue. I was doing my daily Facebooking when I found a recommended link to a friend's blog (you can check it out here http://oldschoolparents.blogspot.com/). Please check it out as she gets into reviewing this type of thing to help you protect your children (you can also find her blog on my reading list over on the right side of the page). Her blog was about a new show called "Skins" on MTV. I don't know if you know anything about this show, but it is nothing but smut that is being offered to young adults everywhere. In fact, MTV says the show is doing great with their target audience of 12yr. -34 yr. The show glorifies what MTV is advertising as reality--the most horrible side of life--drugs, sex, alcohol, and all the other terrible things that our youth are being hit with today. The Parents Television Council describes the show on their site (in case you want to check it out yourself--http://www.parentstv.org/PTC/publications/emailalerts/2011/0118.htm) in this manner:
"Skins not only featured dozens of instances of high-school children using foul language; it also contained depictions and descriptions of high-school children discussing and engaging in sex; high-school children discussing and engaging in the use of illegal drugs; high-school children discussing and engaging in the use of alcohol; high-school children stealing an automobile and then crashing it into a lake; and countless other descriptions and depictions of graphic, adult-themed activity."
Keep in mind, this show doesn't use adult actors. Their youngest actress is reported as being 15 years old. Someone please enlighten me on what kind of parents allow their children to be part of something like this? I don't think they have any right to be called parents at all for allowing their child to be exploited in such a manner (I bet all they see is dollar signs). Do these parents even realize the amount of child molesters who are probably avid watchers of the show already?
In all of this, MTV remains pretty smug about what they are doing. They basically brag that kids as young as 12 are watching (Yeah, I am going to keep mentioning this because where are those 12 year old's parents?). They maintain that they are not breaking any laws. "According to The New York Times (via MSNBC), Viacom executives met with the producers of Skins to discuss toning down upcoming episodes for fear of violating child pornography laws." (That came directly from http://www.okmagazine.com/2011/01/skins-loses-a-fifth-big-sponsor-subway/. Check that out if you want more info.) CHILD PORNOGRAPHY--now, how scary is that? MTV believes we are all dumb, deaf, and blind not to realize that this is the real world within the day-to-day life of teenagers. What about all the good kids I have taught over the years? Why aren't they making a show about the kids who have gone on to do great things? Why are we not glorifying kids who are making a difference in the world, who care more about others than about gratifying themselves? Why can't we portray that as the norm? IT DOESN'T SELL. MTV doesn't care about your kids. MTV doesn't care about making the world a better place. This show makes this agenda very clear.
I bet right now you are wondering what you can do. I am still researching that, but I have a few options that you can do right now that will make a difference.
1. E-mails: Send e-mails to those who advertise during the show and to MTV. They have lost seven sponsors as of what I can determine at this point--Taco Bell, GM, Subway, H & R Block (Why in the name of all that is good is H & R Block advertising on MTV anyways?), Schick, L'Oreal, and Wrigley. Now, don't get me wrong. They still advertise with other programming on MTV, but not with this show in particular. Foot Locker is one that continues to advertise during the show.
2. Inform Yourself: Research and know the issues surrounding this. Believe me, it's not pleasant and it angers me more and more. However, I realize that by knowing more, I can find more ways to fight this junk.
3. Talk: Talk to people--old and young alike. This is not just about shutting down smut, it's about opening a dialogue between people that will keep more of this stuff from invading the lives of our youth. It's about opening lines of communication so that our kids KNOW right from wrong.
4. Share: Share blogs like the one I gave above or this one with young and old.
5. PRAY: Become a prayer warrior for our youth. Our children are leaving the church in mass. We have got to pray for them. James 5:16 says, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." Let's stand in the gap for our children and our future.
I am doing research to find out more about what I can do to help get junk like this off our televisions. As I have been doing research, I have found more shows that need to be taken off the air. I can list out several (Gossip Girl, Family Guy, etc) that I am now aware of that I will do my best to fight against in the next few weeks. Maybe you are wondering why....
THEY ARE THE REASON THAT I CARE SO MUCH. If you can look at these two little boys and not want a better future for them, then I am worried about you. I am doing everything I can to protect them from junk such as this. I will not let the world tell them what is "normal" or "acceptable." We wonder why girls give everything away at such a tender age...thank you MTV for helping push the idea that this is what everyone else is doing. We wonder why our young men don't know how to be gentlemen......thank you MTV for showing that it's a "reality" that boys don't know how to be anything but animals. Keep in mind, MTV is not alone in this fight for the hearts of your children. This is just one in many battles that I will have to fight. You better believe this momma is ready and willing to take on the world to prove to her boys that they have a "higher calling." I will teach them that being like the world is taking the easy way out. Compromise is easy....taking the higher road, the road that God intended for us--there is nothing more rewarding.
Please help me in this fight. I am talking to you young adults. I am talking to you parents. I am talking to you grandparents. I am talking to you people who have no children. I am talking to you CHRISTIAN. We have been silent for too long and it's time we took a stand.
I can already see your face and can read your thoughts. "Oh boy. What's she worked up about now?" Let me tell you, everyone needs to get worked up about this issue. I was doing my daily Facebooking when I found a recommended link to a friend's blog (you can check it out here http://oldschoolparents.blogspot.com/). Please check it out as she gets into reviewing this type of thing to help you protect your children (you can also find her blog on my reading list over on the right side of the page). Her blog was about a new show called "Skins" on MTV. I don't know if you know anything about this show, but it is nothing but smut that is being offered to young adults everywhere. In fact, MTV says the show is doing great with their target audience of 12yr. -34 yr. The show glorifies what MTV is advertising as reality--the most horrible side of life--drugs, sex, alcohol, and all the other terrible things that our youth are being hit with today. The Parents Television Council describes the show on their site (in case you want to check it out yourself--http://www.parentstv.org/PTC/publications/emailalerts/2011/0118.htm) in this manner:
"Skins not only featured dozens of instances of high-school children using foul language; it also contained depictions and descriptions of high-school children discussing and engaging in sex; high-school children discussing and engaging in the use of illegal drugs; high-school children discussing and engaging in the use of alcohol; high-school children stealing an automobile and then crashing it into a lake; and countless other descriptions and depictions of graphic, adult-themed activity."
Keep in mind, this show doesn't use adult actors. Their youngest actress is reported as being 15 years old. Someone please enlighten me on what kind of parents allow their children to be part of something like this? I don't think they have any right to be called parents at all for allowing their child to be exploited in such a manner (I bet all they see is dollar signs). Do these parents even realize the amount of child molesters who are probably avid watchers of the show already?
In all of this, MTV remains pretty smug about what they are doing. They basically brag that kids as young as 12 are watching (Yeah, I am going to keep mentioning this because where are those 12 year old's parents?). They maintain that they are not breaking any laws. "According to The New York Times (via MSNBC), Viacom executives met with the producers of Skins to discuss toning down upcoming episodes for fear of violating child pornography laws." (That came directly from http://www.okmagazine.com/2011/01/skins-loses-a-fifth-big-sponsor-subway/. Check that out if you want more info.) CHILD PORNOGRAPHY--now, how scary is that? MTV believes we are all dumb, deaf, and blind not to realize that this is the real world within the day-to-day life of teenagers. What about all the good kids I have taught over the years? Why aren't they making a show about the kids who have gone on to do great things? Why are we not glorifying kids who are making a difference in the world, who care more about others than about gratifying themselves? Why can't we portray that as the norm? IT DOESN'T SELL. MTV doesn't care about your kids. MTV doesn't care about making the world a better place. This show makes this agenda very clear.
I bet right now you are wondering what you can do. I am still researching that, but I have a few options that you can do right now that will make a difference.
1. E-mails: Send e-mails to those who advertise during the show and to MTV. They have lost seven sponsors as of what I can determine at this point--Taco Bell, GM, Subway, H & R Block (Why in the name of all that is good is H & R Block advertising on MTV anyways?), Schick, L'Oreal, and Wrigley. Now, don't get me wrong. They still advertise with other programming on MTV, but not with this show in particular. Foot Locker is one that continues to advertise during the show.
2. Inform Yourself: Research and know the issues surrounding this. Believe me, it's not pleasant and it angers me more and more. However, I realize that by knowing more, I can find more ways to fight this junk.
3. Talk: Talk to people--old and young alike. This is not just about shutting down smut, it's about opening a dialogue between people that will keep more of this stuff from invading the lives of our youth. It's about opening lines of communication so that our kids KNOW right from wrong.
4. Share: Share blogs like the one I gave above or this one with young and old.
5. PRAY: Become a prayer warrior for our youth. Our children are leaving the church in mass. We have got to pray for them. James 5:16 says, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." Let's stand in the gap for our children and our future.
I am doing research to find out more about what I can do to help get junk like this off our televisions. As I have been doing research, I have found more shows that need to be taken off the air. I can list out several (Gossip Girl, Family Guy, etc) that I am now aware of that I will do my best to fight against in the next few weeks. Maybe you are wondering why....
THEY ARE THE REASON THAT I CARE SO MUCH. If you can look at these two little boys and not want a better future for them, then I am worried about you. I am doing everything I can to protect them from junk such as this. I will not let the world tell them what is "normal" or "acceptable." We wonder why girls give everything away at such a tender age...thank you MTV for helping push the idea that this is what everyone else is doing. We wonder why our young men don't know how to be gentlemen......thank you MTV for showing that it's a "reality" that boys don't know how to be anything but animals. Keep in mind, MTV is not alone in this fight for the hearts of your children. This is just one in many battles that I will have to fight. You better believe this momma is ready and willing to take on the world to prove to her boys that they have a "higher calling." I will teach them that being like the world is taking the easy way out. Compromise is easy....taking the higher road, the road that God intended for us--there is nothing more rewarding. Please help me in this fight. I am talking to you young adults. I am talking to you parents. I am talking to you grandparents. I am talking to you people who have no children. I am talking to you CHRISTIAN. We have been silent for too long and it's time we took a stand.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
SM 101: Don't Sabotage Your Own Happiness
My Straightforward boys enjoying our snow!So, as you know, I have started creating some 101 blogs that are basically mini classes on how to (or how not to) do something. Today is another session in Straightfoward Mom 101. Our class today is on sabotaging your happiness. Do you ever do that? I sure do. It hit me pretty hard last week that I was sabotaging myself in many ways, but in my marriage the most.
Recently, the wonderful Straightforward Dad planned a fun mini date for he and I without the kids. He had taken the initiative and tried his best to be as romantic as possible. Instead of encouraging him throughout the date, I acted nonchalant and, well, to be straightforward, stupid. I did the same thing later on when he asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner one night. I beat around the bush, and of course some communication issues were thrown in, and I found myself with the same nonchalant attitude at dinner.
Last week I was "trapped" in the house with all the boys and I had some time for good reflection on what I had accomplished on my New Year not-to-do list. I read through and was pretty satisfied until the Holy Spirit started speaking to my heart about "not" being the same wife I was last year. Ouch....had I been doing this a lot? I thought back to the more recent times that the Straightforward Dad had tried to do something romantic or fun for me. Yep....there it was. I needed a swift kick in the pants. I couldn't believe that I had reacted so poorly, yet expected him to want to continue to do romantic and nice things for me. Was that the reason he claimed it was so hard to be romantic? I mean, I have been harping on him about this and here I was basically sabotaging him. What kind of wife does that? Not a very nice one, that's for sure. I made up my mind right then and there that I was going to ask, not only God's forgiveness, but my husband's as well. I did that just the other night and it has really opened my eyes concerning my attitude towards, not just him, but even my kids. I realized that I had been sabotaging my happiness in a lot of areas, not just my marriage. My attitude needed an adjustment--and quick. I am in the first days of this "adjustment", but I can already tell a huge difference. (Ask the Straightforward Dad, he'll tell you there is a difference too!)
What about you is causing you to sabotage your own happiness in 2011? Maybe you share my problem and your attitude is your culprit. Could it be that your lack of trust is sabotaging you? Maybe you are still struggling with our last lesson--a lack of confidence? I don't know what issue is plaguing you that causes you to sabotage your own happiness, but resolve to get in check. I realized my attitude was setting up the Straightforward Dad for failure every time. He had no chance when I came into our time together "wearing" that attitude. In doing that, not only was I sucking the joy out of our dating life, I was sabotaging his happiness as well! What's sucking the joy out of what you enjoy? Are you sabotaging someone else too? If you are not happy, find out what's sabotaging you and get rid of it. I can't tell you the tremendous burden that has been lifted since I had this little epiphany. It's completely crazy. I haven't been able to have another date with my husband yet, but I am so excited to give this "new wife" attitude a go on our next outing!
I know what you are thinking..."Just because you were stupid enough to shut down on a husband who was trying to be romantic doesn't mean that I have the same problems or issues." Ok, well great! But, in my few years of life (YEAH RIGHT), I have realized that people always seem to be unhappy about something. Most people will blame someone or something other than themselves. In my case, I blamed the Straightforward Dad for not being romantic or creative enough. How could he ever win when I took that attitude? Are you happy in your job? Maybe your attitude needs to be adjusted in that area so that you stop sabotaging the leader or the witness you could be in that arena. The Bible says:
"Make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset (some might say ATTITUDE) as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant,being made in human likeness. " (Phil. 2:2-7)
We are called to not look at our own interests, but those of others. Reading this verse hits me again by telling me, not only did I have the wrong attitude toward someone who loves me, but I was being SEL--SELF---Ok, I was being SELFISH. (I winced just typing that.) I was being something I am trying to teach my children not to be (Way to go Mom!).
For those of you who might be sabotaging your happiness in other areas, try using this as your motto--
“Work willingly at whatever (this means ANYTHING) you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ." (Col. 3:23-24)
So stop sabotaging yourself this year! Why be unhappy when you don't have to be? Of course you are going to have off days. We are human and still have those issues. If you have the power to call off the saboteurs--WHY NOT?? Have you done it in the past and found ways to deal? Leave me a comment because I can use all the tips I can get. Just because I am the teacher doesn't mean I can't learn! :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)