I am sorry for the lack of blogging this month. It's been interesting to see how many people actually miss reading my rants and contact me to say that they want more! It makes me smile....and thank you.
I don't know where you are in your life right now, but the Straightforward Family (and I have noticed many of our friends as well) has experienced some particularly large trials and tribulations recently. I have caught myself with the question, "Why me?" on my lips several times. My other favorite question recently is, "Why can't I catch a break?". It seems like we have been hit from all sides for the last year.
Interestingly enough (as I have mentioned before), our church is doing a study on the book of Genesis. I know I have posted before about Lot and what I took from that study, but this recent study meant a lot to me and has helped me confront some of my more recent trials with a different perspective. I don't know if you have ever read the account found in Genesis 22, but it is probably one of the most inspiring and interesting accounts I have read in the Old Testament.
Here's a brief summary. After years of waiting on God (and a son through the wrong woman), Abraham and Sarah finally have their promised son. I know some people feel like they have waited forever for a child, but Abraham and Sarah didn't have a son until they were VERY OLD. They were not the picture of patience (or normal parents) by any means, but they finally receive God's promise of a child. About the time that Isaac is 25, God speaks to Abraham and says, "Ok. you have your son. I want you to take your only child and offer him as a burnt sacrifice." (He probably didn't say it just like that, but you get the idea.) Abraham gets up the next morning, travels to the place he is told, and has his son carry the sticks up to the location. He then binds his son to the altar and prepares to sacrifice his only child. As he is about to slit Isaac's throat, he hears a voice call out to stop and he sees a ram nearby to put in Isaac's place. They sacrifice the ram and head back home.
Now, I know what you are thinking. "What in the world does this have to do with the daily struggles and trials that I deal with in my life? God is not asking me to sacrifice my kids!" That's very true and I am very thankful that He hasn't asked me to do that! However, if you look closely at this story, you see two people who have been through a mess of trials and tribulations (some they have triumphed through in honorable fashion and some they have waded through in shame) and this is one is like the icing on the cake. (Hmmmm....have you ever felt that way? You look at trials in your life and think, "Wow! I did awesome there, but I stunk up the farm on that one?" Every once in awhile, I also face a trial so big that my mind runs with the thought, "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!")
I don't know about you, but when I learned about Abraham as a kid, I never really thought about his failures or frustrations. I only remembered the bright spots in his life. I focused on the triumphant moments. As I have gotten older, I have been able to identify with his goof-ups and hang-ups. Previous to where Abraham is in Genesis 22, we have seen him go through some rough things. He has given his wife away (twice), not heeded God's directions (several times), had to watch his beloved nephew head off to one of the most immoral cities to ever exist, and much more. Yet, after years of waiting he gets his son!!! I can't imagine what elation and excitement he and Sarah felt at that moment. Things are going great for awhile and then BOOM! God says go kill your son for me. I can just picture the look on Abraham's face. I can imagine his mind ran with the same thought that mine would--"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" After all he had been through, he finally had his son and I imagine he thought God was going to cut him a break for the remainder of his life. He is now faced with this new challenge.
In the past, I never understood why God would ask Abraham to kill his son. It made no sense to me. Yet, as we studied this story more, I realized that He was trying to express what He would one day be doing for people everywhere. Abraham was given the smallest taste of what God would be offering for us many years later.
How did Abraham face this new challenge? He got up the next morning and did exactly what was asked of him. What would the Straightforward Mom have done in this situation? I probably would have prayed, cried, "twisted" my ankle so I couldn't travel--yeah, I would have hesitated. Abraham packed up his stuff and went. According to Genesis 22:5, Abraham told the guys who traveled with him, "Abide ye here with the donkey; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you." He had so much faith in God in this trial that he believed that no matter what, he would return with a living Isaac. Whether he had to go through with the sacrifice or not, he believed that God would provide. After that statement, he loads Isaac up with the altar stuff and heads toward the place God had specified. Again, his faith during the trial is tested by Isaac's question, "Behold the fire and the wood; but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?" I don't know about you, but if I had even made it to this point, I would have burst into tears and ran from that place. But Abraham didn't waiver and told Isaac, "My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering." Abraham gets as far as binding his son and raising the knife to kill him. The Angel of the Lord then calls out and causes him to stop. God provides the ram and the two sacrifice that instead.
After studying this story, I am so ashamed at the lack of faith I have in the smallest trials. There are days I don't even trust Him to provide something as small as my financial needs. The trials and tribulations that Abraham faced before this point, prepared him for this moment. He had seen God move in mighty ways and protect him even when he made the dumbest of mistakes (like offering his wife to other men and believing her when she said it was ok for him to have a baby with another woman). God wasn't trying to destroy Abraham during these events. God was preparing Abraham through each event.
Does that offer you a new perspective on what you are going through? I know I have started looking at my problems differently. It's easier for me to not ask why as much--He's preparing me. Now, I might not always completely understand why I have to face a certain situation. It also doesn't mean that I enjoy it. Nevertheless, I can face each new challenge with confidence and faith that God will provide. I can look back (just as Abraham did) at all the events of the past year and see places where I came through like a champ, and others where I came through like a chump. Through it all, I can see God's hand moving and shaping me to be something wonderful for Him.
I think another powerful testimony of faith in time of testing is Isaac's response to his father during this situation. Isaac did question his dad about what was going to happen (just like any young man would have done). The confident answer given by his father was enough to keep Isaac going. Keep in mind, Isaac was not a little kid innocently trusting his father. He was a young man who had the option to run away or punch his dad for attempting to bind him and place him on the altar. He could have verbally abused his dad, calling him "stupid" or a "crazy zealot." Isaac did none of these things. I think the trust he placed in his father is a testimony to the way he was raised by Abraham and Sarah. I hope that one day, people will be able to look at the actions and reactions of my children and see evidence of the way I have tried to raise them.
(As a side note, this is also a reminder to all those parents out there, our children are not ours. They belong to God and we have to respect that gift. No matter where He leads them (the mission field or other ministries), we have to listen to His call on their lives as much as they should. This was another hard pill for the old Straightforward Mom to swallow. On a second side note, isn't it interesting that Sarah is not mentioned in this chapter? This is a Straightforward Momism, but I think that God knew what this trial would do to Sarah and that it would be more than she could bear. I may be completely off on that assessment--and I would love to know your thoughts--but I find it so interesting that Sarah is not involved. I know what it would have done to me to hear that request.)
When trials come your way, where do you place your faith? Or do you even worry about that? Do you find yourself focusing so much on the problem that you forget why we go through them in the first place? I was in your shoes. I can admit that I was not putting my faith in my Heavenly Father. I was placing my trust in myself. (You think I would learn after 30 years of living this life!) I also placed my trust in the Straightforward Dad and others. I was so shocked when they failed me.....hmmmmm. If I couldn't do it my strength, how in the world could I expect them to do it in theirs?
I hope that you will pick up your copy of the Bible and read the account in Genesis 22. Not only does it give a testament to what faith can do for you in times of pain and heartache, but it is also a representation of what our Heavenly Father gave up for us so that we could live in heaven with Him. How great is the Father's love for us?
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