A Mom's New Year Resolutions

Well, here we are at the end of another year. For me, this has probably been one of the most difficult years of my life. Many wonderful things have happened, yet many terrible things have happened as well. I know that our lives are made up of ups and downs, but this year has been more downs than ups. Years like this make us look back and appreciate the years we had things so well.

It's always this time of year when I sit down and contemplate what I want to accomplish in the upcoming year. I make a list of a few things (ok, so there are usually more than a few things) that I need to do in the new year. I then proceed to not do them in short order. I don't know what causes me to forget my resolutions before the month of January is even over, but I do it every year. Don't get me wrong, I have done well some years to make it as far as March.

This year, I didn't want to do the same old, same old. I wanted to do something a little different. I decided to make a list of things I wouldn't do in the New Year as opposed to things I would do. I know a lot of people rather look at things the other way around, but I definitely need a new approach. So here goes. . .

1) I will not give up running. I will keep trying even though it's hard, cold, and well, plain painful at times. Currently, I am running about 3 miles. I plan to increase that this year.

2) I will not be the same wife/mother I was last year. I don't think I was a bad one, but I want to do better and find ways to become the person God would have me to be for them.

3) I will not over do it on my schedule. I want to have a less stressful and hectic year. I think I have the ability to pull this one off now that our family has made some adjustments and I look forward to being able to do more for my family and our church by being a proactive planner with a calendar. I think that by actually using a calendar I can keep our events at a minimum.

4) I will not be a Christian in my words alone. I want to have my actions speak for me.

5) I will not take the mountain tops for granted. This is something that I have done for years. Last year taught me that I can no longer do that.

6) I will not allow fear to drive my thoughts, actions, and life. I will ask for God's help.

7) I will not take my family for granted.

8) I will not allow my house get the best of me. For those of you who know me well, you know I am not a neat freak. I have a mess going pretty much 24-7. I then allow myself to become completely overwhelmed by the mess until I cannot function. No more in 2011.

9) I will not allow myself to stay indoors for days at a time. I am going to get out and be more accessible to my friends. I have learned this year that it makes me a better mom and wife to have some "me" time.

And last but not least. . .

10) I will NOT allow other relationships, things, people, events, etc. to interfere with my relationship with my Heavenly Father. In the last few years, I have allowed so much to come between me and Him. I am putting my foot down.

After making my list, I look back and realize I am still making resolutions. However, I am much better about not doing things than I am about having to do something. I hope that my blogs in the future will reflect that I am not doing things well! I would love for each one of you to come and leave a message of encouragement or accountability for me when you think of it. I hope that if you have trouble keeping resolutions, you might try the same tactic.....I'll keep you posted on my progress!

My Little Reindeer

Here are the photos from the Straightforward Son's 1st School Christmas Concert as promised! We were super proud of him! I threw in some of him singing "Away in a Manger" and partying too for good measure! ENJOY!

Our little Rudolph!

The class singing Rudolph

"The little Lord Jesus laid down His sweet head...."

Two buddies chowing down at the party!

Mrs. Amy gets the kids ready for their book exchange!

Pet Peeves and Small Joys During the Season of Peace

Ok. I don't know about you, but there are so many things that happen to me during this season that drive me insane! I had to share a few of them with you.

1) I think they up the amount of toy commercials from October through December. In December it seems that they are shoving in as many as they can. (Thank goodness we only have basic cable now. I have no idea how many are being shoved in between Dora and Diego breaks right now!)

2) Parking in any parking lot (including the Dollar Tree) starting after Black Friday is a ridiculous task. People will literally tear off the front of your car to get a parking spot that even remotely seems like it might be closer to the door. I get that it's cold, but I have to get two kids in the store! Please, give a mom a hand and just let me have the space.

3) People who won't commit to the Christmas Play. Look, it's really hard to plan a Christmas Play if you are the lead role and are not sure you are going to show up. We only do this one time a year. Practicing for a few weeks (during church hours), showing up to the last dress rehearsal and the play should be a piece of cake.....right?

4) It irks the poo out of me when people will go all out decorating for Halloween, but won't even put up a strand of lights for Christmas. This might seem random, but I am an avid lover of Christmas lights. I appreciate those who get out in the cold and do the work!

5) Parents who refuse to tell their kids no. Picture me. I am in Wal-mart with the Straightforward Baby and the Straightforward Son walking remotely near the toy aisle trying to get to the pet section. A kid is screaming at their mother because they want to bring a toy home right now instead of having it for a gift. I then have to look my boys in the eye and give them a talking to just because of how that kid behaved. Ok, so maybe I don't "have" to, but I believe in being proactive!

Ok, so there are a few of my holiday pet peeves. Now for the REALLY good part! The joys....

1) I had the nicest Salvation Army bell ringer man (that was the most interesting thing I have typed all day) help me put the Straightforward Son in a buggy at Wal-Mart when it was about 20 degrees outside. He saw me struggling in my big jacket with my kid in his big jacket and came to my rescue. I usually drop in some change, but I gave that guy a dollar. He earned it and got a huge Merry Christmas from the Straightforward Son.

2) The Straightforward kids had THE BEST experience with Santa this year. I did a photo shoot at Bradley's Pumpkin Patch with the best Santa I have ever seen or been around. He spent time in between photos playing Leapster with a little boy who now thinks he and Santa are best friends. He'll never forget that special day!

3) We recently lost a wonderful member of our family this month. I had to explain death to my 3 1/2 yr. old son. You would think this would be terrible. Instead, he looked at me with those beautiful eyes and said, "Mommy, I will miss Uncle Walter, but I am sure glad you are still here." I have to admit I went somewhere and shed a few tears over that one.

4) Being a part of the Christmas activities at church again have just warmed my heart. I really love getting involved. Now that I have the ability to do so (without the craziness of a teaching schedule to hold me down), I am taking full advantage of it. The kids (no matter how uncommitted) have been a blessing and a lot of fun to be with. I can't wait for the Straightforward Son to sing his solo! I'll have to take some pictures and post!

5) Watching the Straightforward Son today perform in his class' musical debut was great. Of course, he started dancing and almost knocked a classmate over, but it was still precious and brought me much joy.

I would love to hear some of your pet peeves and joys of this season! Post them in the encouragements (otherwise known as comments) so we can enjoy them all!

Peace on Earth . . .

Well, needless to say I took a break from blogging to get through Thanksgiving. We made it. Those of you who know our family know what we have been going through recently and it has been rough. However, it was so nice to sit around the Thanksgiving table and offer our thoughts of appreciation to the Lord and each other. It truly made us realize just what we had been blessed with this year, even though things have been tough.

Now, on to Christmas! I don't know about you, but the Straightforward House has been bustling this Christmas season. We have had something on our calendar every day. We also have an advent calendar where the Straightforward Boys have a note each day about something special that will go on that day that is just for them. It's just one of the highlights of this season! I have committed to way too much this season and am trying to stay above the waves at this point. This is the first Christmas season that I feel totally unprepared for! Yet, I wanted to take some time to stop and offer some thoughts about the season in my most Straightforward manner!

Recently, I talked to our Sunday School class about peace. I am probably the worst person to talk about the subject as I am one of the world's worst worriers. I went into it a little hesitant, but found some interesting truths as I taught the lesson and the kids interacted with me.

Have you ever thought about the shepherds out sleeping in the fields? All of a sudden the sky opens up with angels! People are screaming (ok, singing very loudly) basically "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom His favor rests." (Luke 2:14, NIV) I don't know about you, but that is probably one of the most incredibly unpeaceful ways to talk about the peace that had arrived! :) I think I might have had to change my shepherdly undergarments had I seen this sight.

Today we see this verse translated to all kinds of things you can buy at Christmas. You see things that declare "Peace on Earth." Tons of Christmas cards and other paraphernalia have this or the word "Peace" tattooed all over it. Now don't get me wrong. Our Savior was born to bring peace. However, it is not in the way that so many people preach about or all the Christmas cards tend to portray it. Jesus wasn't sent to bring peace "on earth" between people. He came to bring peace to those who would accept Him as their Lord and Savior. Look at the end of what the angels' message says--"and on earth peace to those on whom His favor rests."

Still don't believe me? Check out this verse--"Think not not that I came to send peace on earth:I came not to send peace, but a sword. " (Matthew 10:34, KJV) WHOA.....what happened to the cute little baby we see in the nativity scenes and on the cards? What about this verse? "Suppose ye that I come to bring peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division." (Only 10 chapters from where the angels declared peace in Luke 12:51, KJV) Look at the difference between these verses and the message the angels brought that day to the shepherds. Yes, peace was finally readily available on earth for people, but it wasn't the way or the type that everyone expected.

Isn't that the way God always works? It seems that it is never the way or the means by which we expect God to work. He can use something stunningly simple, or He can use something infinitely complex--it seems it depends on the message and to whom the message will be delivered--that's not in the Bible, that's just a Straightforward Momism. I love that I can see His hand in something as simple as the smiles of my boys, yet understand His hand in the complexity of the way they were designed within my body. It's just incredible.

Off the tangent. After the discussion, our Sunday School class decided that Christmas cards about peace should not show a quiet night that is peaceful....but probably should show the innards of a person who is saved. Yeah, so our idea won't quite make the shelves of Hallmark this Christmas season. Who knows? Maybe next year.

I pray that you will find time this year to stop and find that true peace that is specifically for "those on whom His favor rests." If you are not one, become one. This is the perfect time. Don't put it off. You can't waste another minute without this peace! If you are already one of these, let go and let the peace do its work. Let Him have all your trials, troubles, and concerns. There's no time like the present--hahaha a little Christmas humor for you!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Review: Bringing up Boys Dr. Dobson

Have you noticed that kids just aren't the same anymore? I know my generation was different than that of my parents, but the situation seems to be even more out of control. After teaching and coaching for the last several years, I knew (or thought I knew) how I wanted to raise my kids. Now that I have two boys, I realized that things aren't as clear cut as I once thought them to be. To help gain some perspective on boys and how to raise them, I picked up Dr. James Dobson's Bringing up Boys at the library.

The first impression I got of this book was overwhelming. The cover states "Practical advice and encouragement for those shaping the next generation of men." WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. I have a three year old and a seven month old. Who said anything about men? Then it dawns on me. I am raising boys to be men. YIKES. There I sat, taking the full on hit that I was raising future men. (Yes, I do know that boys turn into adults eventually, but I honestly haven't been thinking that far ahead. I am still trying to get sleep at night and picking boogers out of noses that aren't mine.) I had not even made it past the front cover and I was about to cry. What am I going to do? My mom raised girls. She can't help me! I don't know anything about being a man. Sure, I can shoot a basketball better than a lot of guys, but that doesn't give me the credentials to be raising men! So, right there, I had a mental breakdown before even opening the book.

Once I got over myself and started reading, I was completely engrossed in everything Dr. Dobson had to say. Our boys are being attacked by the world, our culture, and everything in between--starting from birth. My boys are so blessed to have been born into a family that is intact and where both parents spend time with them. The book was published in 2001, but you would be blown away by the statistics on divorced families, even among those who are self-proclaimed Christians. Don't get me wrong. I know that there are situations where grounds for divorce are justified, but I believe that there are families today that could have been saved, but the parents just gave up. As I am learning, love is a choice. Even though I would love to tell you that the Straightforward Dad and I live in absolute marital bliss, I would be lying. The stresses of life and raising children do get to us. We have our battles and our "moments." However, when we took our vows, we knew we were in this for the long haul. So many children don't have that anymore. Also, we have boys (and girls) who don't even know the identity of their fathers.

Dr. Dobson talks about how our culture is affecting boys. From violence to sexual content everywhere you look (walk by a Guess store, it offers a sex lesson right there in the mall), to demeaning men and masculinity. I never realized how bad men/fathers were bashed on TV until I read this book. Have you watched cartoons recently? Good grief! It always struck me funny when I was a kid and realized how many Disney characters either didn't have one parent or they killed one during the movie. Watch cartoons today and you will find parents (especially dads) being depicted as spineless idiots. (Thanks Nickelodeon! Seriously, Jimmy Neutron's dad, Timmy Turner's dad, etc.?) Watch a commercial. Men are shown to be idiots at every turn. If they are not shown to be idiots, they are shown to be sleazy, sex-minded sicko's. I can hear it now...."But aren't all men like that?" I can honestly say that so many are not. I am married to one and those of you who know my father realize that he has more backbone than most dinosaurs. Yet, if our culture keeps telling and showing boys that this is what men are--guess what? That's how they will behave. (On a side note, we no longer will have Nickelodeon after this Friday.)

I think I was most shocked at the attack on masculinity. I don't know about other women out there, but I want a man. I want to be taken care of and protected. Today, men are told they are not sensitive enough. They don't have "feelings." Boys are told to play with gender neutral toys and feel too aggressive if they want to play with bow and arrows or plastic cap guns. Once again I can hear people saying, "Well, playing with plastic weapons makes boys violent!" Really? What would you consider to be worse? Kids playing with plastic weapons (TJ has a bow and arrow that he "hunts" with) or watching TV and seeing mutilation, crime scenes, and people blowing other people away for no good reason. Hmmmmm.......makes you think doesn't it? Even worse is the desensitization to homosexuality. Our schools (state schools of course) have even taught, from a very early age, that this is ok and that some kids have two mommies or daddies. Take a step back from that for just a minute. The school your tax dollars go to does this. Interesting.

Now, do I agree with every single sentence of this book? I actually don't. He includes a section about the problem with boys being forced to compete against girls in athletics. I have no problem with this concept and don't believe it should be a problem. He believes that this makes the weaker boys feel even worse. I believe that there is a solution to that problem if it becomes one. Parents should sit down with their sons and be honest. Maybe this is something he likes, but there's something better out there that he will excel in. This approach does sound brutal, but we are told to be honest with our kids and I think this is one important way to do that. (I know some are saying that I will never apply this reason with my own son. You will be surprised about how quickly we would do this. We have seen many children in our careers as coaches who would have benefited from this discussion with their parents.)

I think Dr. Dobson poses a great question in the end. When will parents (and grandparents) wake up and start to attack the forces against their children? Well, this parent "woke" up and is now more ready to face the challenges that lie ahead in growing men. Now, I don't have all the answers, but I am now more aware of what I need to do and what I can change. He also has a book called, Bringing up Girls for those of you with daughters.

I don't want to give away the whole book again, but I encourage anyone who has a son to read this book. If you have a grandson--READ THIS BOOK! If you are having a child and don't know what the sex is--READ THIS BOOK. You will appreciate it's eye opening information and encouragement that it offers.

Thanksgiving Reminders

As we approach the Thanksgiving season, I always begin thinking about those things for which I am grateful. We started a tradition a few years ago at our family Thanksgiving table where we go around and everyone shares what they are most thankful for from the past year. (I have to get a head start or I will draw a blank around people who always know the best things to say.) It's such a blessing to hear my family share such personal feelings.

If you ask around today, most people go for the typical things for which everyone should be grateful. Family, possessions and health all top the list in the minds of most people. These are all important things for which we should be grateful. However, there are a few things that I would like to remind you not to forget this year.

If you are a child of God, be grateful for your salvation. How can we not be? We were bought for a price. I think I can appreciate this even more now that I have sons. God gave his only Son for me. I can't imagine anyone for whom I would give my sons. My gratefulness and appreciation for this gift has increased since I can now relate more as a parent myself.

Don't forget to be thankful for forgiveness. Not only does our Father forgive us, ("As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12) but we are able to forgive and be forgiven in this world. I have a new appreciation for forgiveness. There are things in the past that I have held over the heads of others that I have recently been able to let go of with the help of God. (Believe me, I could NOT do it on my own.) That feeling is worth being thankful for!

Be thankful for your church. No church is perfect. Spurgeon once said, "The day we find the perfect church, it becomes imperfect the moment we join it." How true is that statement? Be thankful for those who love, support, and lift you up in prayer in your body of fellowship. I have been so strengthened and encouraged by our church recently. They support my family and my children are learning so much from being there. I appreciate those who attend the Sunday School class the Straightforward Dad and I teach (well, he's been doing a lot more alone since the entrance of the Straightforward Baby). They are special to us. I also want to thank our children's department of our church for offering the Straightforward Son the opportunity to be in his first Christmas program. He's going to be "Angel #1," Joseph and sing a part of a song by himself. He is so excited about this program.

There are so many other things that are often left of the list, but I really wanted to focus on these three because they have been so prominent in my life this year. Leave me a comment on other things that are important to you that you feel are often forgotten!

Review: Romancing your Husband by Smith

Have you ever thought to yourself, "My husband has nary a romantic bone in his body?" I have to be honest (as if I haven't been so far), since the day that the Straightforward Dad and I began dating, I hoped and prayed for him to be romantic. I worked really hard to set up romantic situations and outings for us, but I always thought he came up short when he tried to do the same. Sometimes I even felt like he wasn't trying at all. One day (ok, this has been an ongoing conversation), I sat him down and said, "What is it about me that makes you not want to do this for me?" He looked at me and said, "I don't know how to be romantic." At first, this answer seemed like a total cop out. In my mind I thought, "Anyone can figure it out. Your a computer nerd. Just Google it!" But the truth was, he really didn't know how.

After many years of being frustrated with this, I was perusing a used bookstore and found a copy of a Christian book called Romancing Your Husband, by Debra White Smith. I thought that was a pretty interesting concept, so I got it.

After reading The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, I was ready for another book that I could find some good and bad points about myself. Luckily, this was a more positive read for me than Dr. Schlessinger's book. This book encouraged me to change my "romantic" thought process. Instead of worrying about the husband being romantic, Smith encourages women to romance their husbands in a way they (husbands) can appreciate. She also encourages modeling romantic behaviors for your husband. I can say from experience that I am not sure modeling always works, but it is worth a try.

She has a similar message to women that Dr. Schlessinger does in the fact that she asks women to do their part. She points out areas in the Bible where women are called to a specific purpose in marriage. Her message about the submissive wife was much easier to swallow than that of Dr. Schlessinger. Don't get me wrong. I know that I am supposed to be a submissive wife, similar to to my submission to the will of God. Yet, the way Smith handles the subject left me feeling like it was something I could achieve, and not me feeling like the bad wife because I don't cook every meal for my family. Smith also goes on to explain that what men are called to do in marriage is just as difficult. "Husbands, love your wives, just (emphasis added by me) as Christ loved the church and gave (emphasis added by me) himself up for her....In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves himself (Eph. 5:25,28)."

I think the interesting part of the book was a chapter called "Exciting Encounters." This chapter deals specifically with ideas to help you "romance" your man. I have to admit, even reading the title of this chapter was a little embarrassing at first. As I read this particular section, I came to realize that this is the romance language that men speak. My language is definitely much tamer!

Another helpful aspect of the book was the devotional that was included at the end of the book. It was encouraging to have that little push after you read the book to try and implement the suggestions Smith offers. She includes scriptures with each short devotional.

I have to admit, I did get annoyed with her in the fact that she seemed "too" perfect at times. It was almost like she had all the answers (of course, why would I read this book if she didn't?) and everything worked. Yet, once you get past the perfection, there are some very useful tips that every woman can use. She also includes a story of a couple in the chapter "Surviving the Storms" that will make you cry. It made me realize just how blessed I was and will make you want to give your husband a huge hug.

You can check the book out on Google books if you want to fill in the blanks that I have left (I hate to give away the whole book if someone actually wants to read it). You can always borrow my copy! Either way, it's worth the read. You might just find out that you and your husband are speaking two very different romance languages and that his might be much more fun!

You Know you are a Mom if...

I had an interesting night last night. It prompted me to make this list! Comment with your own moments! I would love to hear your own experiences moms!

You know you are a mom if. . .

1. you fall asleep with a pacifier in your teeth and you wake up and it's still there!

2. you wipe other people's booties more often than your own.

3. you go into a store alone and say "No, stop touching that!" without even thinking.

4. you play Facebook games because your son wants you to.

5. you are known as your kids' mom. No one knows your real name.

6. boogers no longer disgust you. In fact, you try getting them for your husband.

7. your front porch looks more like a toy yard sale than a place to relax and greet friends.

8. going to Walmart (or anywhere for that matter) with dried snot or spit-up on your clothes doesn't bother you.

9. you have more expenditures at Children's Place than any retail store that would sell clothes in your size.

10. you have so many little plastic cups from restaurants in your cupboard that you could host a party for 50 kids and everyone would have one (including a lid).

11. you can sing cartoon theme songs or episode songs like (but not limited to): Spongebob, Wonder Pets, Bob the Builder, Curious George, etc.

12. you sing songs listed above without your kids enticing you to or when they are gone.

13. you go to the store and come home to find out you have random stickers on your butt.

14. every time you move your couch there is a treasure of forgotten toys that become the new toys all over again.

15. you hold the hand of a beautiful child at night while they sleep and they tell you that they are the only thing in the world they need.

I would love to hear some of yours! Comment below and share! :)

Giving it all You Got!

Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough? Maybe you took on a new job and had to learn new things. Did you feel like you just couldn't keep up? Maybe you are a worn out mom or dad who feels like you just don't have enough energy. Maybe you are sitting in church and want to get involved but just don't feel like you can help. Maybe you are a student with a workload that doesn't seem to get any lighter. Maybe you are a giving everything you have to make something work. Does it feel like you just can't do anything right?

Recently, we hosted The Straightforward Son's 1st Annual Pumpkin Party at our home. I am the Straightforward Mom so I am going to hand it to you with all honesty. My house was a living mess. I am not organized. I am a pack rat. I hate doing dishes (even with a dishwasher). Our laundry has seemed to double since the Straightforward Baby has arrived. Our house isn't completely painted on the outside. My porch has more toys than decorative items. Thanks to fall, leaves are starting to overtake our yard. Toys are overtaking our lives. So, as you can imagine (especially those who are neat freaks or are super organized), I was not prepared for what was about to hit. This party started out as a project for the homeschooling Straightforward Cousin. As many of you know (and thank you so much for all the prayers), he has been in the hospital for about two weeks. All of the planning fell on me.

I struggled for several days to get motivated. I began feeling overwhelmed. I started to feel like I was doing a lot, but doing very few things well. Something in my head (Uh....the Devil, duh) was telling me that I was failure and that I would never get done. He honestly had me believing that people were going to show up and nothing would be there for them.

Something eventually kicked in. I realized that I was having a pity party and that I had to pick myself up by my suspenders (although I really want a pair, I don't have any) and get started. As the preparations started to get underway, I saw how excited the Straightforward Son was about the party. His excitement was contagious. I started to get excited. As we got closer to the start time though, I fell back into my old ways of getting anxious and bossy. I felt it coming and didn't know how to stop it. Luckily, things started to ease up and I was able to finish with the help of some great family. (It is so true that God knows when we have had enough and intervenes.)

Needless to say, the party went off great (except for the impending tornado). I think the kids had a great time and the adults were able to relax and talk. Was my house completely clean? Did I get up on a ladder and finish painting? Were the leaves even touched? Did anyone notice that our red door isn't completely finished? Did my living room stop looking like a nursery? NO. But did everyone have a path to the bathroom? Was there enough food? Did the kids have a super time? YES. I realized, that sometimes, the things that we let creep in and make us feel less than acceptable aren't really what matter anyhow.

The world is so good at making us feel not good enough. Watch TV for just a few minutes. Home shows make you look at your own home and realize how small, messy, and underdecorated (or in my case badly decorated) it is compared to others. Commercials make you realize that you don't have a perfect complexion--even with make-up. Forget about how they make you feel about your body and hair. Even reality TV doesn't make you feel better (when it should). I love Project Runway (I know this shocks some of you who know me at all. The worst dresser ever loves a show about fashion--see, there I go again!). Watching stick thin girls strut their stuff makes me realize how much my body has changed with having children. Then I look at the designers. Most of them are so talented! I will never be able to sew or see colors and patterns the way they do.

I am here to say turn off that TV and look to the Bible. Most people say, "How can I compare to David, Moses, Esther, or even Abraham?" It is true that we may never live up to being called "a man after God's own heart" or "a friend of God." But looking at their lives should make us actually feel better about our own. Examine David's life and you will find one full of victories. However, you will also find one full of trials and failures. Have you ever taken someone's spouse? Have you basically had their spouse killed because you wanted what they had? Consider the life of Abraham. Have you ever passed your husband or wife off as your sibling? Did you do it twice? What about Moses? Have you ever given God excuses as to why you couldn't do something? Have you ever killed a man?

Recently, looking at their lives have given me hope. Issues that I feel are so big seem to pale in comparison to these failures. Don't get me wrong--sin is sin. However, I often sweat over the small things until I blow them into big things. My house isn't clean so I feel it means I am a bad mother. I am still learning my new job--will I ever learn how to be good at this? I still make snarky comments at the Straightforward Dad--how can he deal with me all the time? Guess what? I am not perfect, but I am definitely going to take a tip from the people of the Bible and keep trying. Even they were not able to perfect their lives--but they gave it all they had. I know a pumpkin party seems like a small thing to many people, but I wanted it to be perfect. I gave it all I had. Even though it wasn't perfect, it was pretty darn good. I just need to start tackling the rest of my issues with that much gusto. I hope this encourages you to keep trying and to be like the heroes of the Bible--without the killing.

Field Tripping with the Straightforward Son

I experienced a “mom first” this week. I chaperoned the Straightforward Son’s first school field trip. (I can't tell you the last time I had been on a field trip where A) I was completely responsible or B) had to set up the whole field trip. It was sure nice to watch someone else sweat for a change!) I decided to make this a special day just for us. I got the Straightforward Granny to watch the Straightforward Baby so that I could direct all my attention to the excited field tripper. We climbed into our “school car.” (For those of you who don’t know, it’s my baby that I hardly get to drive anymore—the Mustang. The Straightforward Son rides with dad to school each day in momma’s beauty.) He jabbered all the way to school. We get to the classroom and he clamps on to my leg like a pair of skinny jeans (for those of you wondering, I don’t wear them—I just know some people do and I have NO idea how they pour themselves in those things). Those of you who know this very not shy little boy would have been shocked to see him. After a few minutes, I was able to pry him off my leg and get him to play with the other kids.

He had decided that he wanted me to drive him instead of riding the bus with some of the other kids. I was okay with that because it would offer us more one-on-one time. The teacher announced it was time to load up and he bolted out the door. We get in the car and he decides he has to buckle himself in. So he undoes what I have just done and decides to do it his way. (This of course meant me having to do what I did all over again when he got frustrated with it.) He then announced that we had to have Tom Tom. (We were only going 12 minutes away.) I sat up Tom Tom and made sure he could see it. It was a fun drive behind the bus. There were at least twenty cars following the bus—parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters were all tagging along. At one point, a car pulled over to the side of the road and watched us go by. The poor guy thought it was a funeral procession. The Straightforward Son also wanted to hold my hand on the way there. I was happy to oblige, even though I was in the front and he was in the back. My arm was not as happy by the time we arrived at our destination. My arm felt like it had been ripped off and bent in ways it was not meant to know. However, I had the biggest smile when we got out because I know I was the only mom that had that request on the ride over!

We arrived at a beautiful little farm in Cleveland. It was one of those places you generally see in pictures. If you are ever looking for a place to get married, this farm would make for a beautiful outdoor wedding. The pictures would be great. They had a fun itinerary for the kids. We took a hayride (to my amazement, the “farmer” giving us a ride was a fellow Piedmont athlete that I hadn’t seen in years) and were dropped off at the cutest mini maze. They had hay bales set up in a maze that was perfect for kids. After the maze, we went to see the animals. The Straightforward Son got a kick out of the horse thinking his hair was hay. He giggled and jumped as the horse chomped away at his head. His favorite was definitely the turtles. They allowedthem to walk around and the kids thought that was great.

At this point, the Straightforward Son went into meltdown mode. Luckily, snack arrived and that helped some. However, during one of the games afterward, he lost it and fell apart over a game of horseshoes. (Seriously, what three year old loses their self-control over horseshoes?) They took us to see the bridge and finally, the trip was over. As we headed back to the car, I couldn’t have been happier. In my mind, I knew if I didn’t get him somewhere he could nap soon, another meltdown was inevitable. Unfortunately, the business woman in me had to stop and ask some questions about the farm and pictures. While I was talking, the Straightforward Son invited two other boys to hang out in the Mustang (he had just met them at the farm for the first time—they were not with our group). They had a good time crawling around and talking. As we were pulling away, he again decided he needed to put his seatbelt on and we had to do the routine all over again.

As we talked about his favorite things on the way home, he fell asleep. As I sat there trying to find my way home (the bus had left me at that point and I had forgotten to plug Tom Tom back in), I was so thankful that I had made this a special time for just the two of us. Recently, the Straightforward Baby has been requiring more attention and I knew it was the perfect opportunity for some much needed “mommy time.” Also, this is a memory that only I get to share with him. He might not remember it, but I will. When he’s older, I’ll get to show him the pictures of the horse eating his hair and say, “Remember when. . .” just like my parents have done with me. How fast do they grow up? As I watched him make new friends in the Mustang, I realized what a big boy I had on my hands. I realized he no longer needed me to introduce him to new friends.He was doing just fine on his own. In fact, he was introducing me to his friends from school. (I think he realizes that mommy spends too much time at home and needs more friends!) I am just thankful that I made the time to be with him on such a special day!

I am JoyFall!

Wow! For those of you who are able to feel the amazing fall weather right now, how blessed are we? It has been incredible! I have to admit, I love summer, but fall is completely wonderful. Watching God paint the colors of fall in only the way He can is always fun for me and my family.

Fall is not only a time of beauty and great weather, it seems to be the time when the whole Straightforward Family gets sick or "falls" under the weather (a little weather joke for you--sorry). When looking at our family expenses this month, we estimated that we had spent almost $200 in doctor co-pays alone. (This doesn't include all the medication and medical necessities that went along with those co-pays!) Don't get me wrong. If my family is sick, I am the first person who starts to stress and wants to pack the whole clan into the car to get checked. (We all know that if one gets it, the whole clan gets it!) We have insurance and you better believe we are going to use it. We also have the best doctor. I should do a review for him on here, but I don't want to embarrass him with all the wonderful things I would say!

Not only do we get sick and have to put out money for the doctor and medications, we also have to pay for two car tags (one of those car tags happens to be our most expensive). Again, don't get me wrong. I am super grateful for our vehicles. I am especially grateful for our Honda Pilot (I should probably review it as well. I know very little about cars except Mustangs are awesome and cars have dipsticks). It has been a blessing to our family and we have been able to use it to help others as well.

Other expenses tend to show up as we go along throughout the fall for this or that. Added to this money crunch is the pressure of the looming holiday season. (I am a sucker for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I am going to admit this, and you better keep it to yourself--I actually enjoy the fact that Christmas stuff is out. I know this irritates most people, but Christmas is just a lot of fun for our family.) This pressure tends to make you worry more and relax less. I realized a few days ago that the financial and health stresses were starting to affect my wonder and enjoyment of all that God was doing this season. I decided to lay it in His hands and enjoy every second of fall. For example, I took the Straightforward Dad on a surprise fall picnic on Friday--no Straightforward Kids allowed. It was just me, him, some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (yeah, I went all out), and some great fall weather. I also spent some time outside with the Straightforward Son. We learned how to run the bases in baseball and how to do a touchdown dance. The Straightforward Baby and I spent time looking at leaves (some of them ended up being partially eaten) and swinging on the front porch swing. At some point, I am not sure when, I forgot about all those stresses that were getting me down. Of course they are still there and won't go away completely. Yet somewhere between picking leaves out of someone's mouth, dancing like a maniac while neighbors were driving by, and holding hands with one of the world's most handsome men, my focus changed. My joy for fall, and life, came rushing back.

I encourage you to get out and enjoy this weather. Use it as a distraction from all the negatives, and make it a way to focus on all the blessings in your life. Go ahead and reclaim your joy. If you are living in a location where fall isn't as evident as it is here, find a way to infuse a little fall into your world. Grab yourself a pumpkin and some other fall treats and make a few new fall traditions. I promise you, your problems will seem to "fall" by the wayside. (Sorry! Had to slip it in there again!)

Review: Bradley's Pumpkin Patch (Dawsonville, GA)

Some of you who are my Facebook friends already know that we took the Straightforward Family out to visit Bradley's Pumpkin Patch on Saturday. It was the perfect day for an October outing. Just to give you a little background info, the Bradley in the name was a previous student of mine. I am not blessed enough to say that I taught him agriculture, but I did teach him some history (well, I hope I taught him enough to appreciate where he comes from and what type of legacy he will leave). I also taught with his mom several years ago. They are great people and have a special family.

Bradley has been in the pumpkin business since he was five years old. Yes, you heard me right--five years old. When you drive up to the patch, you won't see a little boy run out to greet you though. You will meet one of the most respectful, kind businessmen you will ever meet. (He's pretty strong too! He carried some pretty large pumpkins for some customers that would impress most people.) Even though Bradley is in college, his heart is still in his work and the patch is busier than ever!

As usual in my blogs, I have digressed so I will get back to the story. We pull up to the patch and are greeted by some of the funniest signs you might find in a pumpkin patch. My favorite was the "Slow Pumpkin Crossing" sign that is right at the entrance. He also has a directional road sign that tells you how far to the patch and the North Pole (just in case you were wondering). The first thing you will notice when you arrive is the intimate setting of the patch. You might be thinking, "That's the strangest way anyone has ever described a pumpkin patch." I am not kidding. Even though there are tons of people milling around checking out the shop, pumpkins, hayride and more, you don't feel like you crowded by people like at some other pumpkin patches. You definitely feel like you are family (and they treat you like family).

The Straightforward Son enjoyed the Little Tikes roller coaster and other yard toys that were

all around the patch. He rode it forwards, backwards, and sideways. I thought at some point I would look over and he would be riding on his head. A pan of bubble juice (ok, I know that's not what it is called, but you know what I am talking about) sat near the pumpkins with wands of various shapes and sizes. The Straightforward Son made so many friends over the pan of bubble juice. (No, he wasn't drinking it!)

The hayride is an experience I will never forget. Bradley's dad is the driver. At first glance, it seems like any other hayride. The stories that you will hear from Mr. Weaver will fascinate and encourage you. You cannot get off that ride without feeling better about yourself and your kids. If you think I am kidding, go for a ride. He makes you feel special and tells stories that will

deepen your faith and relationships. His storytelling skills will amaze you.

If you check the website, you will find that they also offer classes at various times on dehydrating vegetables, baking bread, and more. I took some time to check out one of the classes that was in progress while I was there. (I can hear the jokes already.) Not only did I actually learn something about cooking (and we all know that is miraculous), but I learned how to save some money! To make things even better, free samples were passed around.

The shop offers all kinds of interesting things. From soaps to salsa, you will find a little something for everyone. I even had one customer tell me that she had bought a homemade musical toy in the store for $5.00 that she had seen in other handmade stores retailing for $50.00! The shop itself is an old home that has been moved to the property. It is gorgeous and adds a little something special to the experience.

And last but not least. . .the pumpkins. They have various sizes and types. It doesn't take much of a glance to realize that these pumpkins aren't those that you will pick up in front of Wal-Mart. These pumpkins have great shape and color. When I told the Straightforward Son he could pick out any pumpkin he wanted, I watched as his eyes lit up. In my mind I saw him running to a pumpkin that was just as big as him and saying, "Mommy! This one is what I want!" To my surprise, he ran right through the large pumpkins to the small pumpkins in the front. He grabbed two by the stems, held them up and said, "Mommy! I'll take these right here." Just goes to show that sometimes the small things in life are the best! The Straightforward Baby also found his own little pumpkin to take home and love (or chew). They are also famous for their cooking pumpkins (For all of you who are laughing that I even know that, I read it in Taste of the South magazine--http://www.bradleyspumpkinpatch.com/magazine.pdf). The fall decorations there are not only a good buy, but are beautiful to boot!

If you are looking for a great place to take your kids for a photo, this is the place to go. They didn't care that I sat the Straightforward Baby right in the middle of all their pumpkins trying for fifteen minutes to get him to look at me. There were families all over the patch doing the same thing. They also have several other photo shots set up for your convenience. If you can't get a good shot here, I don't know where you will get one.

Needless to say, Bradley's Pumpkin Patch is one of our new family traditions. If you haven't had your October adventure yet (or are looking for a tradition of your own), go check out Bradley's Pumpkin Patch. You can get more information at http://www.bradleyspumpkinpatch.com/. You can also pick up a copy of Georgia Magazine this month (http://georgiamagazine.com/currentissue.asp) . You might just recognize the guy smiling on the cover!

How to Save a Life

This is going to be one of those blogs that not everyone is going to agree with or love. However, being the person I am, I had to address the topic that made me so livid recently. The other night, (We were in between watching the Braves lose their 1st game of the post season. I am still mad at Brooks Conrad concerning his post season play. Anybody right there with me?) the Straightforward Dad and I happened to catch Alan Colmes having a discussion with a female commentator and Sean Hannity. I remember watching Colmes when he was actually on the show with Hannity. In a way, I used to feel sorry for him. He seemed like a nice guy, but I just didn't agree with his thoughts on politics. He also had to sit across from Hannity who made him look like a timid mouse at times. My pity for him dissolved last night quicker than the Straightforward Son can count to 20 (let's just say he skips numbers).

The other night, Colmes makes the comment to Hannity, "who was he" to determine when life begins? This was the justification he gave for his support of a woman's right to chose. Seriously? That's your argument?

Ever since I became a mom, my pro-life stance has gotten stronger. From the moment I realized that I was pregnant (and I had a pretty good idea that something was up when I started peeing like crazy and swelling), I knew something special was happening. I recognized that I was carrying a human life. I am sure most of the moms you know, discover they are pregnant and say, "Yeah, my husband and I are so excited about the little mass inside me!" Most mothers recognize a difference right away. Consider the mothers who feel that tremendous state of loss even at the earliest stages of a miscarriage? If it's not a life, why are they so upset? Is it because of it's potential? I would argue that it's because they have felt that new life inside them and losing it is devastating. Now, I can't speak on behalf of those who have had miscarriages since I have never experienced one. However, I have seen and talked to grieving mothers who have lost children at all stages of pregnancy. It's never easy.

So, since some people believe that they can't pinpoint when life begins, it's ok to have an abortion? Wow. I do not want to stand before God and say, well I wasn't sure so I just took a chance that it wasn't a person yet. I guess I am in the minority today when I believe God when He says, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart." (Jer. 1:5) Notice it says "before" we were formed in the womb. In my heart, I believe that He knows about us before our parents have an idea that we are going to arrive. (Some of you babies were BIG surprises!)

I think the reasoning that makes me the most irritated is, "It's my body and I don't want anyone telling me what I can do with it." That's all good and fine if you are talking about someone telling you whether or not you will shave your legs or get breast implants. We are talking about another human life in this scenario. Do they not have any rights just because they can't talk? You are sharing your body with someone else. It's not just about you anymore.

How can you save a life? Support babies that have no voice. Support women who have nowhere else to turn. Offer them love and any help you can give. I think abortion is the biggest slap in the face to women who cannot have children. It adds insult to injury in my opinion. Whether or not someone wants the baby they are carrying, there are plenty of want-to-be parents waiting to open their loving home to a child they can call their own. Saving those babies for people who can't conceive is priceless. Caring for all people (even those in the womb) is our way of serving God. It's is probably one of the most important ways as the Bible says, "The entire law is summed up in a single command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' (Gal. 5:14)" As my pastor said on Sunday, "We love people when they are right, and we should still love people when they are wrong. (I guess I will have to start with Colmes, huh?)

I constantly hear people telling me how I should think and believe on so many levels about abortion. The other is that I am "intolerant." To be honest, I am sick of people being intolerant to me. Well, I am standing up right now and telling all of those people, you can't tell me what to think or believe. I know what's right in my heart. If you don't like it, that's too bad. I also have just as much right as you to voice my thoughts and beliefs. People (at any stage) are important to me. Very little has been more precious to me than nurturing and giving life to the two Straightforward Boys. If you don't like that, well, that's just too bad. You better believe that if I have a third child, I won't be calling it a mass. . .it will always be my baby.

Review: Stone Mountain Park & the Pumpkin Festival

I scheduled another field trip for the Straightforward Cousin to Stone Mountain Park on October 1st. We ended up taking the whole crew down to Atlanta with us for Homeschool Day at the park. They were offering an amazing deal to homeschool students--$17.50 for the Adventure Pass. Considering the normal cost of going there and getting the Adventure Pass, this was quite the opportunity. We were also in luck (or so I thought) since it was also the first day of the Pumpkin Festival .

We piled everyone into the Straightforward family car and headed towards Atlanta. First amazing fact--NO BATHROOM BREAKS! Can you believe it? I was shocked. We arrive earlier than expected and the Straightforward Baby decides he is starving (this ended up being a great thing since this gave us plenty of time to do what we needed before lunch). Not a soul is parked around us, so I sit in the front seat to "feed" the baby. As soon as I do, this van pulls up out of nowhere and parks on my side of the car. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? And of course, the dad is driving and pulls up facing me. Not only that, but two brothers also get out of the car ON MY SIDE. Out of the hundreds of parking spots that were around, they chose to park right next to me. Go figure.

Anyway, we decided to check out the Pumpkin Festival first (after the official 1st visit to the very nice restrooms and my 1st official freak out--thinking I had left my camera memory card at home). Stone Mountain--are you kidding me? You can't throw about 75 pumpkins on the ground for sale and call it a festival. Ok, so I am exaggerating just a bit. There were about 50 pumpkins on the ground (at $7.00 a pop). There were also some strategically placed large plastic pumpkins and some cute pumpkin people around the park as well. However, when I hear pumpkin festival, I am thinking all things pumpkin. I expected huge real pumpkins, pumpkin treats, and demonstrations with pumpkins (I am not sure what I thought they would do with the pumpkins, but they are always demonstrating things there, so why not?)

After all our pumpkin dreams had been smashed, (Straightforward Son was still looking for a real pumpkin patch) we headed towards the tramway to the top of the mountain. This is always

a fun trip for me. Something about being on a huge rock with a beautiful blue sky surrounding me is invigorating. Of course, the Straight Son was fighting the trip up on the little car dangling by a thread. However, once we got in and the conductor mentioned popcorn, he brightened right away and entertained everyone for the rest of the trip up. It was the perfect day to be on that rock. There were pools of water from the rain that had fallen the day before and the look of it made you feel like you were on the moon. It was incredible.

After the purchase of some Scooby Snacks (I won't even bother telling you how much that cost) and a trip down on the tramway, we headed towards the plantation. No one explained that we would

have to hike there, but we finally made our way to where it was located. We saw some beautiful old homes and gardens. Several wonderful workers dressed in antebellum clothes were walking around and were so kind to us and the kids. We even got to try tomatoes right off the vine from their garden! They were very good! The best part was the animal area where the kids had to fight off the goats as they tried to eat their clothes. It was hilarious!

We ate a picnic lunch outside the park, then went back to try Sky Hike. I am not one for heights, but this looked like it would be entertaining. The Straightforward Cousin has a huge fear of heights, but he agreed to go with me and the Straightforward Dad. As we slowly made our way across the network of ropes, ladders and boards, the Straightforward Boys spent their time with my aunt and uncle going through the mini Sky Hike. (Ok, so the Straightforward Baby wasn't doing any climbing, but he was having a blast watching his brother!) It's interesting how your fear of heights doesn't seem so bad when you know you are attached to metal and you are trying to figure out how to get across things without making a total idiot of yourself in front of a ton of people.

After Sky Hike, we split up and headed in different directions. My group headed to mini-golf while the other group headed to the museum. Mini-golf was a total bust. We were behind a group of eight people (yeah, so much for the rule of groups of four) and it truly seemed like they were playing every hole twice. Keeping the Straightforward Son from teeing off while other groups were waiting was a challenge, but we still had fun. We quit early to make the last train ride. Ahhhhh.....riding in the fall breeze around a huge rock was nice. It was so nice that the Straightforward Son drifted off to sleep in the seat. Luckily, we caught him before any damage was done.

All in all it was a great trip. I encourage anyone who homeschools to take advantage of this offer next year. We really learned a lot and the workers were incredibly friendly and helpful. Just don't expect a whole lot of pumpkin festivities (or pumpkin juggling--now that would have been a demonstration) while you are there!

Review: The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands--Dr. Schlessinger

Recently, I had someone suggest the book The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger to me. It sounded like something I should be learning more about since I am a wife. (And now that I think about it, why did the person who suggested the book to me think I needed it? Hmmm.....) If you don't know, Dr. Schlessinger is a therapist who is an author and radio show host. People call her show to complain about their partners and other issues and she attempts to help them "see the light" and become better people. I have heard her radio program and have agreed and disagreed with her thoughts and ways of helping others. I figured the book was worth a try. (Also, it would probably be easier to read than most Dr. Seuss books that I currently read to the Straightforward boys. Have you ever tried to read Fox in Socks?)

Boy, was I shocked! Of course I knew that she thought that all moms should be at home and that women cause a lot of their own heartache, but I didn't realize the extent of her beliefs until I read this book. I had gotten the impression that she believed that we, as women, were nothing but trouble makers. As I sifted through all the examples from listeners and callers to her program, I realized that she believes that we hold an incredible amount of influence over our husbands and marriages. According to her, we basically hold our own happiness and fulfillment in our own hands. Really?

She then goes on to say that men are fairly simple creatures and when their needs are met, they treat their women with adoration and care. I found myself reading accounts from men who were treated very poorly by their wives and yet, had not run off or fell into any other types of infidelity. I was amazed! Some of the women she described were completely horrible to their husbands--even on a national radio program!

What was even scarier was that I found myself reading excerpts and realizing that I had said or thought similar things that were being brought out in the book. Was I really like so many other women? The point that really hit home for me was when she discussed taking time for your marriage and making it the top priority. This is where I was, as the kids say, an "epic" failure. I know the Straightforward Dad would agree that since the Straightforward Boys have been born, they have taken the top spot on my priority list. They consumed my thoughts, my time, and even my fears (I can see some of you moms out there nodding your heads). Since reading this book, I have taken a step back and made some adjustments. My boys still consume much of my life, but they can never take the place of my husband and the time I need to spend nurturing our relationship. I was just like the women described in the book who spent more time nurturing their children and trying to be successful at everything else, than deepening my relationship with the person with whom I am supposed to be spending the rest of my life.

Now, she and I don't agree on everything. However, I do see more value to her thoughts to a woman's role in this world. I also agree that feminism has done a lot to destroy the marriage relationship. It had even tainted my own views more than I would like to admit. Thanks to this book, I found a lot to work on and the kick in the butt I needed to try to create a better environment for the hunky and incredible Mr. Straightforward Dad. (Ok, so the book said I need to make him feel like a man and I am still working on learning to do that!)

The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands is a must read for every woman. Whether you are dating, about to get married, are married, or just want to learn more about men, this is a very helpful and easy read (only 180 pages for you moms that have about as much time as I do). Keep in mind, you may not agree with everything she says, but finding those nuggets of truth are worth more than the stuff you won't like. Believe me, there will be those moments when you think she has lost her mind, but then there are those moments where a light will come on and you think, "Poop. She's just described me!" Maybe you won't say poop, but you will definitely feel called out.

Dinner for Two

As most of you know, my husband's birthday was Thursday. We called our handy dandy babysitters (Ok, it was the Straightforward Grandparents but they are still handy dandy) and set off for a wonderful and amazing night on the town. We made it to Longhorns, Big Lots, and K-Mart. Yes, for the Straightforward Parents, that's a night without the kids. (However, our date nights usually include a visit to Wal-mart, but we decided to spice things up with two new locations.)

Can I just say that I almost didn't know what to do with myself? I had forgotten what it was like to go to an eating establishment of any kind without forty trips to the restroom, feeding half my food to the Straightforward Baby (yeah, he's eating big people food), trying to keep the Straightforward Son from dancing on the table, or going out to the car to retrieve a blanket, toy, or nippy (that's the pacifier in our household). We just sat there and wondered what we would talk about. Hmmm........Sadly, our conversation even wandered to the lighting in the restaurant. What did we talk about before we had kids? (Single people and married without kids, don't lose me yet! There's something you should know coming up!)

I have read several different items recently that have talked about making special time with your spouse a priority. After that meal, I honestly believe that should be a priority. As a mom, I have felt that my #1 priority should be my children, and that all my time, effort, and devotion should be directed towards them. Earth to the Straightforward Mom--you aren't always right!

Don't get me wrong. Parents should love their children with all their hearts. Yet, we have to remember there is someone else in the mix that got those kids there in the first place! (This ain't called the Straightforward Mom for nothing!) If moms don't make their husbands a priority, there will be no marriage there for the children they so desperately love. It took several articles to open my eyes to this fact.

Recently in "my journey to the point," I have been working very hard to make my husband more of a priority. (His birthday dinner was part of this new effort.) This has not been an easy task. Even though I am self-employed and at home more now than ever before, I feel more busy than when I was working seventy plus hours at my very first job. (The cleanliness of my home does not reflect this, but I assure you that this is the truth.) I have tried to make time for him at the end of each day that is just "us" time. The mouth with which I often get myself in great trouble with has been tamed (ok, I am not all the way there yet, but I am making progress--I say less mean things than before). I am trying to show him that I adore him and that his companionship is important to me. Remember ladies, when our children are grown and out of our homes, that's the person who will be picking us up out of the depths of despair. He will be the one that fills that void and takes up our time. If we don't nurture that relationship with as much (dare I say more?) care as we do our children, what will we have when our children are have moved on to lives of their own?

Pretty soon, I will be reviewing a book I just read on this very topic. I hope that you will come back and check it out....and by the way, I ran 3.2 miles on Saturday. I am contemplating signing up for my first 5K so that I can beat up on myself instead of my knight in shining armor!

Building up a Child....

The Straightforward Son is in his very first year of preschool. It was a big decision for us to send him, especially since I would be home full-time this year. We really thought and prayed about the decision and felt that it was time. The first day was a little rough as he had a nervous tummy and I had to come get him early from school. The mom in me took over and made me think, "Is this such a good idea?" When I arrived to pick him up, he was devastated that he had to leave. Day two came and he hardly even said bye as he bolted into the classroom. He hasn't looked back since.

It has been a great investment! He has blossomed and loves the kids in his class (minus the one little girl who dumped the sand on his head). He adores all of his teachers. I couldn't ask for more (except maybe for him to stop skipping numbers 13-19 when he counts to 20--he says he just wants to get it over with). Today, he came home as excited as I have ever seen.

Each day, the Straightforward Baby and I go out to the car to welcome the Straightforward Dad and Son home. Today, the look on his face when I came to the window to make our usual funny face welcome said it all. He was beaming--no, glowing! He jumped out and bee-bopped up to give me the usual hug yelling, "I knew all my letters!" As soon as Straightforward Dad gets out of the car, he starts pouring out all of the compliments the teacher had given our smart little guy. I couldn't help but laugh and smile at all the things I was told. The Straightforward Son knows he is a smart and I wondered if all the compliments would go to his head. Oh, did I not expect what would happen next.

After lunch, he and I started making cupcakes for the Straightforward Dad's 29th birthday (yes ladies, I snagged me a younger man). While I was frosting and he was adding dashes of--make that dumping--sprinkles onto the tops of the cupcakes, the greatest thing came out of his mouth. (Ok, so I know some of you are still trying to get over the shock of me actually baking something--PAY ATTENTION!) "Look at this Mommy! It's beautiful. I am such a genius!" It was the cutest thing. I asked him who told him that he was a genius. "My teacher said I was a genius." Now, I don't know if this is true or not. I have no verification of his statement as of yet. I'll keep you posted since the Straightforward Dad is going to ask tomorrow. Even if she didn't say it, during his pre-test today, she made him feel like it. As a teacher, I believe that to be one of my ultimate goals--to give a child the tools and the confidence to say they feel like a genius. What a blessing! I think he said it about five thousand times today (including calling me a genius for making such great cupcakes--no they weren't burnt and tasted great).

I have made it a goal of mine to become more of an encourager. As you can read in my last post, I haven't always been successful in that ambition. The Straightforward Son's proclamation today gave me some much needed encouragement to keep trying to make every person I come in contact with feel better about themselves. I want to give some compliments and make someone feel like a genius! If you could have seen the Straightforward Son's smile today, you would want to too!

The Hard Hitting Game of Life

I attended my first football game in ages last Thursday. We have a very talented young man in our Sunday School class who plays JV football. We had promised him that we would attend one of his games this season. The Straightforward Son was thrilled to attend a sporting event other than basketball or volleyball. (This was his very first football game!)

We drive up to the stadium and haul our little group up the hill to the game. (Who puts the stadium on top of a hill? I mean, seriously!) We pay and head into the bleachers to find our student's parents. The game gets underway and it is apparent from the beginning that this is going to be "one of those games." If you don't know what I mean, let me explain from a coach's point of view. "One of those games" means that absolutely nothing is going to go your way. From the refereeing to the kids tripping over their own shoe laces, everything seems to go against you. No matter how hard the kids play, things just fall to the opposing team. The only thing the team could win was the toss at the beginning of the game--seriously.

Since the game was starting to get away from the team, I started listening to the fans and observing things going on around me. (When I say getting away from them I mean really getting away from them. They didn't get a first down until the 4th quarter.) I really enjoy observing people. As many of you know, I love sports. I really love those where you are allowed some physical contact and elbows (and other body parts) are thrown. Football is right up my alley. I listened to all the comments thrown out by the parents and fans around me. Statements like, "Hit that kid harder!" and "Hit #3 like that this time!" could be heard all around me. My favorite of the evening had a lot to do with shoving some kid's face in the field.

As a mom, I am praying that the Straightforward Kids never step foot on a football field. I am not really worried about them being hurt (although it seems the possibility is higher). I am more concerned that their Straightforward Mom will be brawling in the stands with opposing fans who have declared that their son will "hit my kid harder." As many of you also know, I am not one to mince words. All it will take is one over zealous parent yelling to their son to take mine out, and they will feel the pain of a "mom tackle." I may not be a big girl, but don't they say that dynamite comes in small packages?

Then another epiphany occurred. What I was watching and hearing is so much like our everyday life. We are out there, giving it all we have, and so many are cheering against us. Our number one adversary, Satan, is the number one cheerleader in the roaring chants for us to fall on our butts. He doesn't always sit in the stands and yell for us to fall on our faces. Often, he is on the sidelines, on the bench, and even wearing the pads, staring us in the face on the line. We have other people who often cheer for us to get "hit harder." There are those who would love nothing more than to see certain people on the sidelines after a major hit. You know who they are and if you are one leading the cheers! Ouch, yeah, I just said that. It took me a second to take that in and digest it. Wait, could I really be rooting for someone to get hit like that?

I had to sit back and really examine myself. Had I been cheering for someone to fail? Honestly, I had to answer yes--and more than I would like to admit! Double ouch! I don't think it is always a conscious effort (although sometimes I admit it is), but the words we say and actions we perform prove this fact. It made me realize that I needed to be more aware of myself--especially the things that I say. (Yeah, I know.....this will be a feat!)

This post was more about me than anyone else. As my pastor says, I am preaching to myself too! God doesn't just give us messages for others. We need to pull the ginormous planks out of our own eyes first. I hope this helps someone else be a true encourager. I have been trying to be more of one recently and this hit me like, well, let's just say a pride of lions (inside joke since we were watching the lions play--yeah, dorky I know).

Running to Win

I have always been a very competitive person. You can ask anyone who knows me--even those who would only call me an acquaintance--and they will tell you that I thrive on competition. I think I had that personality trait even before I started participating in sports as a kid. I was always trying to be better than someone else at something. Before sports, it was memorizing Bible verses. (Yeah, can you imagine me in kindergarten saying all my verses and then doing the Heisman pose? Seriously, I won a trophy for this--the Bible verse memorization, not the Heisman pose. I still have it.) After a few years, basketball entered my life. It was all down hill from there. I became pretty competitive in most areas of my life from that point on.

So here I am. I haven't played competitive basketball in 8 years (that almost makes me want to cry just typing that). I haven't really head coached a team since I almost had the Straightforward Son at a volleyball tournament. (Actually, it was just Braxton Hicks, but it felt pretty bad.) I now am a self-employed stay-at-home mom with no competitive outlet--except my kid is better

than your kid (and I try not to do that, even though the Straightforward Kids are AWESOME). Not only was my drive to find something in which I could compete making me batty, but my marriage was taking a hit too. Arguing with the Straightforward Dad was one of those ways I could compete with someone. At that point, I realized I needed something else to take the brunt of my competitive nature.

I decided to become a "longer" distance runner. I say "longer" because I am known for my passion for not running. I can sprint till the cows come home, but don't ask me to run any further than about .2 miles. I am not even sure I would run very far if I were chased--sad, I know. I even believe that my college basketball coach made us run the two miles at the beginning of the year, just to see if I would quit. However, I desperately needed something. It had to be challenging and something that would push me to beat it. I decided distance running would do the trick.

I started a few months ago. Running two days a week, I tried to run a little a further each time. I have finally made it to a little over two miles. (For those of you who are laughing at me, remember, I said "longer" distance.) The last two weeks, I have not been able to run for various reasons. Today, I made it a point to get back out there.

I started off real strong. I was really kicking it. As I headed up the last hill to start lap two, the bottom fell out. My hip, knee, and even my brain started screaming at me. I kept running. Lap two was murderous. I seriously think I am out of alignment or something. My time slowed drastically, but I was determined not to quit. Believe it or not, I finished. At the end, I felt like I was going to pass out, but I was so proud of myself for not quitting. It was the worst time I have had since I started. (And that is saying a lot since I came home with monster blisters once!)

For all you moms out there who need an outlet, you should definitely give running a try. I cannot say that I love it--in fact, I hate it. BUT, it pushes me to be better. It has also taken inches off a body that has had two babies in the last 3 years. I am not losing weight as quickly as I would like, but it's nice to see the inches go away. It also gives me about 25 minutes or so that I can listen to what I want without someone yelling my name, wiping a butt that is not mine, or look at one billion things that I "should" be doing.

I'll keep you posted on my progress. My goal is to get to 5 miles per run. Once I do that, I will start working on reducing my time. I might even run a 5K! Right now, I am so proud of my two miles, I almost made myself a certificate to go right next to my kindergarten Bible verse trophy.

What are my Options?

I had an awesome opportunity to see a former player of mine suited up in her college athletic uniform tonight. You have a moment of pride when you see a child that you mentored do something beyond high school. I can't help it.....it makes me smile.

We showed up in Straightforward Family fashion (at the last moment--we live in SF time). Straightforward Son entertained the crowd with his dance moves whenever music blared over the speakers (Straightforward Dad and I are facing the fact that it is quite possible that we may have a dancer on our hands). While watching the game, I was able to talk to some friends about options for our children. Frankly, when it comes to education, there's not much out there anymore. I was brought up as a "Christian school kid." I never stepped foot in a public school for an extended period of time until my student teaching. That one experience opened my eyes to just what I had been missing--not much. My parents sacrificed each and every year to make sure my sister and I were able to learn in a safe, Christian environment. I don't think I could thank them enough for loving me enough to go without so I could be there.

Unfortunately, Christian education is not as valued as it has been in the past. Due to financial issues, many Christian schools are having to close their doors or condense their programs in order to stay alive. Right now, Straightforward Son is at a Christian preschool (I am very thankful for them and they are doing great things with him). Currently, they service students from babies through K-5. That gives me a cushion of a few years to figure out what to do with my son. However, after talking with my friends this evening, I realized that I need to start thinking about it now. I am blessed that I don't have to make a quick decision. Raising high school students, they are not so lucky. What are my options?

For those of you who don't know, I am homeschooling one student this year. In the past, I have not been a big fan of homeschooling. However, over the last few years, my family has been in close contact with several homeschool families. Each of these families have provided me with an insight into an option that I had never considered before. Since I have started homeschooling the Straightforward Cousin, my opinions have changed. Does this mean I would be able to do it for my own children? To be straightforward and honest, probably not. BUT, that doesn't mean I wouldn't do it. With less options each year, I have to be prepared for anything. I am thankful for this opportunity to homeschool and to "dip my toes" in the deep end.

My heart is saddened by the fact that Christian schools are fading and no one seems to care. I see churches supporting public schools with advertisements and other types of endorsements. Yet, they don't reach out to the schools that teach about our Lord and Savior. Of all the people in the world who should support this type of teaching, it should be our churches.

I know this post will not be popular with a number of people. Well, I don't call myself the Straightforward Mom for nothing! I have to share my thoughts and feelings because I care about people. I care about children--especially my own. Being able to see two of my "Christian school kids" (one playing college volleyball at Brenau and one studying at UGA) was such a blessing. It gave me hope for the future and reminded me that Christian education is important.

Seeing their lights shine for Christ made me smile again. I was proud to have a small hand in helping fan that light.