Giving it all You Got!

Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough? Maybe you took on a new job and had to learn new things. Did you feel like you just couldn't keep up? Maybe you are a worn out mom or dad who feels like you just don't have enough energy. Maybe you are sitting in church and want to get involved but just don't feel like you can help. Maybe you are a student with a workload that doesn't seem to get any lighter. Maybe you are a giving everything you have to make something work. Does it feel like you just can't do anything right?

Recently, we hosted The Straightforward Son's 1st Annual Pumpkin Party at our home. I am the Straightforward Mom so I am going to hand it to you with all honesty. My house was a living mess. I am not organized. I am a pack rat. I hate doing dishes (even with a dishwasher). Our laundry has seemed to double since the Straightforward Baby has arrived. Our house isn't completely painted on the outside. My porch has more toys than decorative items. Thanks to fall, leaves are starting to overtake our yard. Toys are overtaking our lives. So, as you can imagine (especially those who are neat freaks or are super organized), I was not prepared for what was about to hit. This party started out as a project for the homeschooling Straightforward Cousin. As many of you know (and thank you so much for all the prayers), he has been in the hospital for about two weeks. All of the planning fell on me.

I struggled for several days to get motivated. I began feeling overwhelmed. I started to feel like I was doing a lot, but doing very few things well. Something in my head (Uh....the Devil, duh) was telling me that I was failure and that I would never get done. He honestly had me believing that people were going to show up and nothing would be there for them.

Something eventually kicked in. I realized that I was having a pity party and that I had to pick myself up by my suspenders (although I really want a pair, I don't have any) and get started. As the preparations started to get underway, I saw how excited the Straightforward Son was about the party. His excitement was contagious. I started to get excited. As we got closer to the start time though, I fell back into my old ways of getting anxious and bossy. I felt it coming and didn't know how to stop it. Luckily, things started to ease up and I was able to finish with the help of some great family. (It is so true that God knows when we have had enough and intervenes.)

Needless to say, the party went off great (except for the impending tornado). I think the kids had a great time and the adults were able to relax and talk. Was my house completely clean? Did I get up on a ladder and finish painting? Were the leaves even touched? Did anyone notice that our red door isn't completely finished? Did my living room stop looking like a nursery? NO. But did everyone have a path to the bathroom? Was there enough food? Did the kids have a super time? YES. I realized, that sometimes, the things that we let creep in and make us feel less than acceptable aren't really what matter anyhow.

The world is so good at making us feel not good enough. Watch TV for just a few minutes. Home shows make you look at your own home and realize how small, messy, and underdecorated (or in my case badly decorated) it is compared to others. Commercials make you realize that you don't have a perfect complexion--even with make-up. Forget about how they make you feel about your body and hair. Even reality TV doesn't make you feel better (when it should). I love Project Runway (I know this shocks some of you who know me at all. The worst dresser ever loves a show about fashion--see, there I go again!). Watching stick thin girls strut their stuff makes me realize how much my body has changed with having children. Then I look at the designers. Most of them are so talented! I will never be able to sew or see colors and patterns the way they do.

I am here to say turn off that TV and look to the Bible. Most people say, "How can I compare to David, Moses, Esther, or even Abraham?" It is true that we may never live up to being called "a man after God's own heart" or "a friend of God." But looking at their lives should make us actually feel better about our own. Examine David's life and you will find one full of victories. However, you will also find one full of trials and failures. Have you ever taken someone's spouse? Have you basically had their spouse killed because you wanted what they had? Consider the life of Abraham. Have you ever passed your husband or wife off as your sibling? Did you do it twice? What about Moses? Have you ever given God excuses as to why you couldn't do something? Have you ever killed a man?

Recently, looking at their lives have given me hope. Issues that I feel are so big seem to pale in comparison to these failures. Don't get me wrong--sin is sin. However, I often sweat over the small things until I blow them into big things. My house isn't clean so I feel it means I am a bad mother. I am still learning my new job--will I ever learn how to be good at this? I still make snarky comments at the Straightforward Dad--how can he deal with me all the time? Guess what? I am not perfect, but I am definitely going to take a tip from the people of the Bible and keep trying. Even they were not able to perfect their lives--but they gave it all they had. I know a pumpkin party seems like a small thing to many people, but I wanted it to be perfect. I gave it all I had. Even though it wasn't perfect, it was pretty darn good. I just need to start tackling the rest of my issues with that much gusto. I hope this encourages you to keep trying and to be like the heroes of the Bible--without the killing.