SM 101: Putting Yourself Out There

(Just a small sample of the work I am doing. I guess I'll "put myself out there" and let you check out my website at http://www.wix.com/jtphotoga/jcox. Remember, be kind! I am a beginner.

Whew! This year is already off to a very fast start. I can't believe we are already 3 days into 2011. The days go by so quickly when you have children and a lot to do!

Welcome to the first class on the Straightforward Mom Blog. I bet you never guessed that I would start teaching on this blog. (That should give you a small hint on how much I miss the teaching profession!) Well, I am. This first instructional blog is on "putting yourself out there." This phrase can be interpreted several ways. For instance, maybe you are starting your first business and you are having to learn to "sell" yourself. Maybe you are a beginning runner training for your first 5K. You might be a mom with a husband who is telling you to get out of the house more and "make friends." You might be considering an opportunity to go back to school with students who are much younger than you and wonder if you have anything to offer. Welcome to the club--I am right there with you.

I have always been pretty good at selling myself. It's something I learned in high school (thanks to all my teachers out there) and from my parents. I was able to do well in college interviews, meeting with prospective college basketball coaches, and writing essays about how awesome I was as a person, student, and player. After college, my streak continued. I was able to ace job interviews, explain to students that I knew what was best, and take on coaching opportunities without any qualms on my part. As I have entered a new phase of my life, I have found it harder to "put myself out there" for people to approve or disapprove of what I have done or am doing. I think it partially comes from the fact that I have never done most of these things before. I am a fairly new mom. I have never been self-employed or have done the job that I am currently doing. I have never been a blogger or much of a journal keeper. I have never really been the artsy type. Yet, I have found myself doing all these things and having to learn to put it out there without fear.

First, I had to realize that it doesn't really matter what anyone (that means YOU) thinks except my heavenly Father. The Bible says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance." (Colossians 3:23) Well, sweet! That means I don't have to worry what all of you think. I just have to give it my best as if I am doing it for the one who died for me. So to kick-off putting yourself out there--"Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might." (Ecclesiastes 9:10)

Second, I had to realize I wasn't the only one out there that was having to do this process all over again. The key is to team up with others who are trying to do the same thing. They will understand your thoughts, your questions, your desires and be able to offer accountability and encouragement. If you are runner, find someone else who is doing the same thing. If you are starting a small business, find someone who is interested in the same idea or at least is interested in what you are doing. Whatever you are putting yourself out there for, find someone with a similar passion. It will help you find more confidence to do what you need to do and possibly even some direction.

Third, remember this quote--"If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price." (Author Unknown) Even if you aren't as confident as you portray, people will be more apt to believe in you if you believe in yourself (or even appear to look like you know what you are doing). This thought applies to many areas of life. For instance, I believe that my husband likes it more when I am confident about my appearance (and not constantly going on and on about the fat rolls that seem to hang out in my back or that crazy blue vein that keeps getting brighter behind my kneecap) and agree with him when he tells me I am beautiful. I may not feel it at the time, but it's almost like the power of positive thinking. (Plus, I am God's handiwork. Why can't I be beautiful?) I am also teaching myself photography. I have learned that if I act nervous around those who I am doing photos for or children who are posing, they have less confidence in me. If I take on the job and stay in control from the beginning, not only do they follow me with confidence, but they like and appreciate my work. At that point, it's not as hard to put myself out there on display--for the moment. Does this mean that I don't chew off every finger nail before I do the job? Absolutely not, but when I get out of the car, you better believe it is game time.

And last, but not least, remember to love and be compassionate. When you are putting yourself out there for new friends or a new endeavor, be kind to those you encounter who are doing the same. They will often turn out to be your biggest support system. Also, do the same for those who are negative about what you are doing. Kill them with kindness. You will find that it is hard, but you feel better about who you are as a person (and as a Christian). As the Bible reminds us, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (I Cor. 13:13)

I hope that you will find this helpful to take the next step in a new adventure. I know I am! I need these reminders on a daily basis! My life is very different from this time last year and I have learned a lot of these the hard way. I hope you will offer other tips in the comments section below. I would appreciate any other helps as I endeavor to do all these things (especially learning to advertise myself--blog, photography, etc.). I am going to stop talking now and allow you to jump in. . .